Toddler Times
Is Your 3-year-old in Tune with Your Emotions?
My intuitive little pilot
I had a really interesting conversation with a close friend, today. She relayed an experience where her 3.5 year-old son noticed that she was really upset about something and he asked her about it.
“Mommy, are you sad?”
She was indeed and decided to share it with him instead of trying to hide it or brush it aside.
My 3.5 year old also keenly notices when I’m sad, angry and frustrated as well. The other day my husband and I had a minor spat. Yes, it was in front of both kids. We do sometimes have these and we don’t shut down and go to another room because…well, we think that’s not real life. If we are going to have a “serious” argument, then yes, I think we’d probably cut it off and save it for later.
But this is not the point of the post. The point is, that after I left the room in a huff (which I did not even notice I did) he came in after me and gave me a hug on my legs while I was doing the dishes.
“That’s because Daddy yelled.” he said.
I could almost hear my heart melting into a puddle. I thanked him, and gave him a huge hug in return.
It seems like a relatively new phenomenon that my young son observes how I feel, and then talks to me about it. When he was younger, I probably overlooked a number of times when I’m sure he did notice, just didn’t know how to verbalize that he understood what was going on.
Do your kids notice and talk to you about your moods?
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4 Comments
Heather commented on Feb 23 12 at 7:14 pmWhen I had my second son, I had severe postpartum depression. I was in a place that I didn’t realize how bad it was until, one day, my 2.5 year old son says “Mommy, are you sad? You never smile anymore, mommy.” It absolutely broke my heart, what I was doing to this child. That’s when I finally went to the doctor and got some help. So, my answer is yes. Children, even preschoolers are definitely cognizant of the emotions you are experiencing at any given moment.
Anna commented on Feb 23 12 at 8:52 pmMy daughter is 19 months and I think she might be starting to notice how I feel… Sometimes…
But I do remember noticing how my mother felt when I was young, and she rarely spoke about what was making her upset, which made me wonder if it was because of something I’d done.
So from that point of view, I’m all for telling your kids why you’re upset (in an age appropriate way) because they will notice.
saima commented on Feb 25 12 at 2:50 amyes!my son 3.4 yr old..and he becomes sad if i am sad…..he cannot see a drop of tear in my eyes….he is curious to know what went wrong with his mommy….and i so love this thing in him!!!!!subhan allah(glory is to allah)
Naomi commented on Feb 26 12 at 12:03 am@Heather- thanks so much for sharing, and have I told you how happy it makes me that you read my posts? :-)
@Anna- Yes, the trick is trying to figure out how to do it without getting them anxious. Not sure I’m so good at it yet.
@saima- thanks for your comment. It is a really cool thing to watch these people start to understand how the world works.
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