Toddler Times
The Mom Club: We’re All Members
Mom and me on my wedding day.
This is a picture of me and my mom on my wedding day. See the way she’s looking at me? Although I’ve looked at this picture a million times, I now see this picture in a new way.
That’s a look only a mother can give her child, and now when I look at it, I feel something more than I did on my wedding day.
I look at it as a mother, not just as a daughter.
My awesome sister was nice enough to forward me a rad post by Lisa Belkin.
Lisa shares a powerful conversation she had with a new mom (her kids’ babysitter) about some realizations of motherhood, on an emotional level.
Yes, we are all hyper-aware of what motherhood does to us on the outside. We might have more stains on our clothing. We might look (just a little) more tired, we might be harder to reach on the phone. Heck, we probably cannot even find our phones.
But what’s so amazing, is that we all share the same thing. We are all raising children. Together. That might seem obvious, but what this means internally is so profound, yet so undecipherable, until of course, it’s experienced. From Lisa Belkin, one of the things you realize:
That your consciousness is no longer your own. From now on Amelia will always be in your head — smack in the center sometimes, flirting with the edges other times, but always there. She will fill the crevices and the moments. You will wonder how she is feeling, what she is doing, where she might be. You won’t even realize you are wondering until you get an answer and, for a moment, you will feel more whole.
When I read Lisa’s post, I was inspired to write on my own blog, something I don’t make enough time to do these days. I was struck by the whole post, but especially the part about how once you’re a mom, you suddenly understand your own mom on a deeper level, whether or not you have a positive relationship.
What changed for you when you became a Mom?
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More by Naomi:
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4 Comments
Danielle commented on Jan 27 12 at 12:21 amI won’t bore you with a long, complicated story, but suffice it to say that I have carried some degree of resentment and baggage from my childhood about being the oldest of five kids (ha!) and not getting a lot of undivided attention from my mother…and then having that rift completely healed the day my first child was born. Suddenly, I understood everything about my mother, and also needed her in ways that I couldn’t have fathomed before having children. She has been there every step of the way since then. Lately, she’s very busy taking care of my 92 year old grandmother, and I miss her all over again.
Naomi commented on Jan 27 12 at 12:56 amWow, Danielle. That’s powerful! Incidentally, I know other first children of large families who harbor a lot of resentment towards their mothers for having to do so much work in the household.
Tragic Sandwich commented on Jan 27 12 at 4:56 pmThis post makes me think about how much more I appreciate Sally Field’s performance in Steel Magnolias each time I see it. That’s not one of my favorite movies, but each time I’ve come across it, I’ve believed in that performance. At first I wasn’t particularly struck by it, but later I recognized that my mother would, under similar circumstances, have that same fierce devotion to me that M’Lynn felt for Shelby. And now that I’m a mom, I find her performance to be astonishingly truthful.
Hannah commented on Jan 28 12 at 8:13 pmLoved this post and the Sally Fied comment.
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