Toddler Times
The Toddler Doggie Bag
Toddler parents, I have a challenge for you and it’s one that will make non-toddler parents shudder with nightmares in their sleep for weeks to come.
I challenge you to take your toddler out to eat.
No, not at McDonald’s or anywhere else that boasts a playground and special toys if Tiny Tim eats all his nuggets. I’m talking a real restaurant with waiters and menus and nary a ball pit in sight. Where regular people with regular lives (which does not include toddler parents because we all know that we’re bartering with insanity each day) go and feast. I dare you to take your two-year old into a restaurant, sit down and have a family conversation and meal.
But don’t get too frisky and order an appetizer. Even dares have their limits.
I think way too many folks are afraid to take their toddler out to eat – afraid they will make a scene or not eat the $7.00 plate of macaroni – so a whole generation of kiddos is being raised not knowing how to eat in public. I think that is a rotten shame.
I get it, though. I have been in a lovely restaurant with my husband, low lighting and enjoying a $30 steak with a $12 martini and the people next to us sit down with a shrieking, bored toddler. NOT APPROPRIATE. It is enough to a) ruin my meal and b) prove that I’m not ready for baby #2.
So most importantly, pick a restaurant that is known for a rowdy atmosphere. Not hockey game worthy, but more along the lines of your average chain restaurant with a bar in one corner & high school aged waiters. We like to hit up Olive Garden or Carolina Ale House, two places notorious for loud noise levels so that when Harrison lets out a shriek (as all toddlers do), nobody blinks an eye. Because he just blends in.
I’m always sure to grab a few small trucks, a pad of paper with a crayon, or a book for him to look over while we wait for our food. We talk to him, talk to each other, practice words. We try to engage him in our conversation, rather than shut him out, to teach him that in a restaurant with the family, it is time for bonding and sharing. Then when the meal comes, he is expected to at least take a few bites. I know that we will end up with a doggie bag of chicken strips or pasta, but it’s less for nutrition and more for the experience so that hopefully when he’s seven, he won’t be hollering or refusing to use his salad fork.
Beth Anne writes words & takes pictures on The Heir to Blair.
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12 Comments
Erika commented on Jan 24 12 at 7:35 amHa I love the part about the appetizer – when we go out with non-parent friends I have to ask them to not order an appetizer – ha
Melissa commented on Jan 24 12 at 8:42 amWe are all about dining out. In fact, it is part of our Sunday after church ritual. we go so often that i knowwhat places to order her food and what places to not! the funny part is that her best meal she’ll eat is fried alligator and gumbo! that’s my Southern Belle.
Monica commented on Jan 24 12 at 10:17 amTeaching children table manners starts at home. Eating out as a family used to be a very rare treat. Kids who misbehave in restaurants are not doing so because they haven’t been exposed to restaurants enough, but because they are not being taught table manners at home. As the mother of 4 I stress the same behavior at the dinner table at home as I do in a restaurant.
Jennifer commented on Jan 24 12 at 10:59 amI tend to agree with Monica. We take our 2- and 4-year-olds out to eat on a fairly regular basis (even on occasion to “nice” restaurants) and have received numerous compliments on their behavior (although they’ve had their not-so-good moments too). But I agree that it really starts at home. We eat dinner as a family every night and they are expected to sit nicely and behave at the table. The expectations aren’t that different when eating out – it just takes longer, which calls for a few crayons or books.
Babe_Chilla commented on Jan 24 12 at 3:47 pmSo fantastic! We do this all the time! We go to Red Robin or Boston Pizza or somewhere “kid friendly” but not “kid centred”. They have crayons and booster seats and kids meals for 3.95 that come with the cookie at the end, but the food is served on a plate and we all sit together.
Is it always enjoyable? No. Most often we’re trading off who is eating and who is trying to keep the toddler from stealing fries off strangers plates BUT, it’s important. It’s important for our daughter to, as you say, learn to eat out, and for us to still be afforded the luxury of a restaurant meal that doesn’t come wrapped in paper.
It is tough. As you say, the time limit is short. And you run the risk of a meltdown….however, this is why we go to kid friendly places because most often, some other kids meltdown is bigger, or at least we get the sympathetic eye from parents and not the death stares.
Janet commented on Jan 24 12 at 4:05 pmI agree with Monica. Good manners should start at home. However, being the mother of a 3 year old, I know that what’s practiced at home doesn’t always translate well to the “real world”. I’ve taken my little one out and she’s behaved like an angel and other times you’d think she was possessed. It really has a lot to do with her mood and whether or not she’s napped. I intend on taking her again, but not without help and a nap (for both of us)!
Nicole commented on Jan 24 12 at 9:26 pmWe always take our almost 3 year old son out to non kid restaurants. He does great and we often get compliments on how well he does. My sister plays in a community orchestra and we take him there too he loves to see auntie play. I agree it is good practice for them. It is all about timing as well we definitely go out for dinner way earlier then we would have. Also an iPad is helpful to and allows you to get dessert and an appetizer.
Sarah L commented on Jan 26 12 at 7:51 amFYI – there are DEFINITELY no high school aged servers at Olive Garden. They are minimum of 18, but the company as a whole usually waits till 19 before they will let you serve. This coming from someone who worked for the company for 4 years…
Lane W. commented on Jan 26 12 at 10:53 ammy husband and I of course started taking our 4 boys out to fast food restaurants as practice….then we moved up to the local buffet. We still dream of the day when we will be able to go to a fine dining establishment…but sorry we’re not there yet ages 7, 4, 3, & 1…not even close lol.
anon commented on Jan 26 12 at 11:28 amI disagree with Monica. Manners are often taught at home, only to be tossed out the window by the child that a) doesn’t really see the point; b) is bored out of their skull, doesn’t like anything on the menu and wants nothing more than to get down and run around; and c) is still in that whole “superego” phase of development, and doesn’t understand how their actions affect others anyway. Eating at a restaurant is not regular home life in any way, and kids recognize this. So, why should we expect the little ones to remember all their manners and act like little angels? Also, “bad behavior” is often misinterpreted. We once ate at a *very* busy Chinese place for lunch. My son, about 3 at the time, bumped his head on something, and started to cry, as any injured child would do. I got more disapproving head shakes and “tsssk”s than I thought the situation warranted, especially given the fact that the place was really loud to begin with, and he was hurt, not throwing a tantrum. I wish people would just give a damn parent a break, and stop assuming we brought our kids because we’re “too afraid to leave the kids with a babysitter.”
Erin commented on Jan 31 12 at 8:13 amWe’ve always taken the kids to restaurants with us – now that Wesley’s a little older, we find he’s able to deal with us ordering an appetizer (especially if it’s something he can snack on), but it was definitely easier to go without one when he was smaller.
Brandy commented on Feb 18 12 at 8:24 amLate to the game but I wrote about this as well and asked for tips from people. http://www.mannlymama.com/2011/12/toddler-dinners-restaurant-tips-and-tricks/
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