Hmm . . . but how will I know who to pretend feel superior to now? So many decisions.

I’m going to come up with some crazy-ass Crips v Bloods beef for parenting – slipper socks v actual slippers. WHO IS FAILING THE CHILDREN NOW?

Brilliant! The whole idea of pitting moms against each other is just silly and a waste of time and energy. Every family (and every mom) is different. We should be more supportive of each other when we are all dealing with these very difficult and personal decisions. Like most things in life, there is not a “right” answer that works for everyone.

I am not a part of the Mommy Wars!

You know I am in! “We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family.” This is the heart of The Mom Pledge. Amen!

The media does its part to perpetuate the “Mommy Wars,” but so do plenty of women. I’m sorry to say it is real. Some women really are at war with each other. I see it every day online. And it needs to stop.

Thanks for spreading a positive message! Off to share this with our community…

This. Exactly. (Although I have experienced a little bit of the Mommy Wars IRL, unfortunately. But overall, I find most women I encounter to be incredibly supportive.)

I’m taking the pledge, officially.

I guess I need to read or get out more, I never knew we were referred to as “lazy stay at home moms”. Lazy is the last thing I get to be around here, neither of my 2 daughters (age 5 months and 4 yrs) have been away from me for more than a couple hours. (and that is only when one of them has a dr appt. my mom will watch the other. Or watch both of them if I have a dr appt and my husband takes me.) I’ve never left them to go out just my husband and I or for any “fun reasons”.

My “job” is full time, at least one of them seems to be awake at all times and I am always cleaning something, feeding them, my husband, finally myself when I get to actually sit down. I don’t have help other than my husband. no nanny’s, no daycare, no babysitters, no cleaning service, no personal chef or laundry service, everything that needs to be done throughout the day falls on me.

I received my bachelors degree 3 weeks before my daughter was born.. NEVER used it. The idea of depending on someone else to pretty much raise my child so I could go to work did not sit well with neither myself or my husband so I’ve been been a full time mom since the day my first daughter came home from the hospital. I understand some women do not have that option or even don’t want that option but for me there was never a second thought about it. I’m the best person to be at home with my kids there is not a nanny or daycare center in the world that I feel would be better equipped to have my kids 8 hours a day than I am. I waited til I was older and my husband and I were secure and established before we had kids for the simple reason I wanted to be the one taking care of them at all times.

I’m not in a war with anyone, I do whats best for my family. In my house that means staying at home. I don’t care what choice anyone else makes I can look at my smart, well behaved daughter and know that its because of me and that is all the reassurance I need to know I made the right choice.

Marlana- I don’t know anyone who thinks stay-at-home moms are lazy either. I was just referencing Anderson Cooper’s ridiculous show on the topic. He titled it “Are stay-at-home moms lazy?” based on one working mom’s insane opinion which I think was just his (or the show’s) way of getting people riled up for ratings.

I have all the respect in the world for stay-at-home moms. It is the toughest job there is.

I’m the worst – Selfish DOCTOR mommy! During my pregnancy, I had comments ranging from, “How can you give up all your training and the patients who depend on you to be a stay at home mom?” (never crossed my mind…) to “I just don’t think women should go for big careers AND family, you need to choose.” Amazingly, most of these comments were from women. Not mommies my own age, they were AMAZINGLY supportive, but women in the 40+ range. It was incredibly hurtful, especially since it feels like they’re saying, “You *personally* are not able to handle both.” But you know what? I am handling both. With a very supportive husband and a great daycare.

I have so much respect for stay at home moms, I was raised by one. I would very selfishly miss my job too much, just like I miss my child when I’m at work. My ideal world would be to take him strapped to my back to see all my patients! I think they’d probably like it…

I, Renee, am a mother. I am not involved in the “Mommy Wars”. We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family. Thus, we are all part of the same team.

Having been a nanny for many years before my child and during the yearly years all i have to say is it is ALL hard yet so rewarding! None of the moms i worked for were bad parents, they were WONDERFUL parents. and now i am a stay at home and i love it. am i lazy? Possibly. but the point is everyone does the best we can and we all support eachother. No matter what our desicions are! We all have to WORK, life is work. wether we get paid in kissed and hugs or moneyfor the bils and food its all rewarding and stressfull when we get hours cut or a pay cut or tantrum after tantrum after crying all day. The one thing we all have in common is the most important. WE ALL LOVE OUR KIDS!!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It would take me 1500-2000 words to sum up all the ways that I agree, and I don’t want to jam up your comment section, so I’ll just repeat myself – THANK YOU. Real or make believe, Mommy Wars are just plain ludicrous. It’s hard enough being a mom, without wondering if “the other side” is judging you. So glad I’m not the only one who isn’t buying the BS. Have to run – my 11 month old somehow managed to lodge herself half way under the couch in the 17 seconds it’s taken to type this. (Sigh)…..

Finally a good article about this. All of this is rediculous because:

1. What we are good at/what we enjoy is different. I like to cook and run. But I would never sew anything, and I hate yoga. Anyone’s preference could be another’s annoyance.

2. What we all consider being a ‘working mother’ differs. Some thing of a job as investment banking, some think of a job as nursing. It’s apples to oranges. If I could return to my 16 year old job of lifeguarding with my best friends and playing volleyball on my breaks, then yeah – being a ‘working mom’ would be pretty freaking awesome.

3. The temperment and quantity of our kids varies. I only have one kid so far, and he’s pretty low key and he’s a good napper. But I’ve been around really high energy toddlers, and wow. I couldn’t do it.

4. Your opinion can vary by the day. I have both sucky and awesome days at work. My son’s usually chill, but sometimes he’s a monster – just like every other 2 year old.

Wow- your story is amazing. I had a very rough pregnancy (nothing like yours) but it really put giving birth to a healthy child in perspective. It is an absolute miracle.

And people can really suck sometimes. My mother couldn’t breastfeed either for medical reasons and I seem to have turned out just fine.

I completely agree with you! In fact, I think the fabrication of the Mommy Wars keeps the discussion focused on a non-existent divide instead of on ways to help everyone–stay at home and working moms–find a solution to their internal struggles. I’ve written about this on my blog, Yo Mama (elizabethhallmagill@wordpress.com), in my post Itchin for a Catfight: http://elizabethhallmagill.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/itchin-for-a-catfight/

Yes, this! So here goes:

I, Alison, am a mother. I am not involved in the “Mommy Wars”. We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family. Thus, we are all part of the same team.

I, Brianne swear to let any mom complain, rant, rave, and cry on my shoulder with no judging – only adult beverages and great food and good listening will be thrown at you!

My motto is try something new if you need help and do what works for YOU. Nobody’s way is right just like nobody’s is wrong. Unless you’re dangling children off a balcony. That’s clearly wrong! Obviously!

So..where do I fit into these wars? I work … from home. Forty hours a week, as if I were in an office, but around getting the 9yo off to school every day, and the 4yo hangs out with me, except when she’s at preschool twice a week for a couple hours. Who is my war with?

I, Melissa, am a mother. I am not involved in the “Mommy Wars”. We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family. Thus, we are all part of the same team.

I, Evan, am a mother. I am not involved in the “Mommy Wars”. We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family. Thus, we are all part of the same team.
I am a working mother and love the days I get to spend at home with my son but I could not stay home every day with him. I envy people who can stay home and who have the patience and energy to be SAHM’s but I know it’s just not for me. It’s best for my family if I’m a loving mommy who goes to work every day than a cranky mommy who stays home.

I’ve lived both sides; although I currently stay home. I’ve had comments, positive and negative, in both scenarios. Which only proves: you can’t please everyone, and some days, no one at all.
Sadly, I do think there is a war…a battle of who is right and who is wrong is most definitely being waged. There simple are too many judgie pants out there who want their 2 cents heard. Well, they can talk all they want. At the end of the day, they don’t matter. They can’t tell what kind of mommy I am, and neither do I care what kind of mother they think I am.
I care about what kind of mother my children think I am.
That’s the side I am on.
As for you, judgie-pants: you are either for me, or against me. And you can pick your side….but you’ll be standing on the battlefield alone. This stay at home mom is just too busy to wage war. Honestly, I’ve got better, and frankly, more important matters at hand.

I, Kathy, am a mother. I am not involved in the “Mommy Wars”. We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family. Thus, we are all part of the same team.
Yes! (I am stay at home, but honestly, I’m pretty jealous of my husband when he goes to work).

Consider this my signature. Dumbest.Debate.Ever.

I, Sara, am a mother. I am not involved in the “Mommy Wars”. We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family. Thus, we are all part of the same team.

I’m in!

I, Jennifer, am a mother. I am not involved in the “Mommy Wars”. We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family. Thus, we are all part of the same team.

I, Amy, am a mother. I am not involved in the “Mommy Wars”. We are all mothers making the best decisions we can for ourselves and our family. Thus, we are all part of the same team.