Toddler Times
Is Make-Up Just For Girls?
Often, when I’m getting ready to go out, my 3-year-old boy will sit with me. Despite my mom slobbery, I do make some attempts to look nice. This includes applying cosmetics.
“Are you putting on make-up?” He asks me.
“Yes.”
“I want some, too.”
The first time this happened, I paused for a moment. This could go many ways, I thought. I want it to be positive. If I tell him that make-up is for ladies, I think he will feel let down and confused. Plus, I’m not sure it’s the truth. Is make-up just for girls, or women?
Plenty of moms of girls let their daughters experiment with make-up. Many of them grow up not to wear any at all. Should it make a difference if I let my 3 year-old play with make-up?
I really don’t think this is a gender-related issue, but more like an exploration of the senses: Mommy has sparkly eyes. He wants sparkly eyes. Mommy puts a soft brush on her face, he wants a soft brush on his face. Mommy’s lips smell like a lollipop, he wants to smell like a lollipop.
Obviously, the one thing I need him to understand is that make-up is for grown-ups, so it’s not something he can wear outside the house or play with by himself. Thus far he hasn’t tried to apply any on his own, despite the fact that it’s easily accessible to him. If it was locked in a closet, I’m sure he’d find a way to get to it, if he wanted it.
He’s also asked me why I use make-up. This was also a difficult question to answer. I wear make-up to look pretty, that is, to enhance my looks. That is the truth, right? Why else would I wear it? This answer begs another “Why?”
Why don’t I already look pretty? Good question, Shnook. Good question. Those 3-year-old brains work and work and work.
Of course, he told me that I always look pretty (melt).
In a world where Girl Scouts lets transgenders be members (despite some intolerant opponents), are we moving into territory where we can change the way we talk about make-up and why we use it? If my son wanted to wear a dress –he has yet to express interest in doing so– I think I would let him. He once said he wanted a skirt like mine, but then didn’t bring it up again, so I never pursued it. There is a dress-up center at school, but he says he doesn’t like to play there because everything is too itchy or too small. That makes sense, considering the items are mostly discarded Halloween costumes made of harsh fabrics.
Who knew such a simple question could become so complicated.
What do you tell your toddlers and preschoolers about make-up?
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Photo by Maria Morri on Flickr
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10 Toddler Obsessions
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5 Comments
Julie commented on Jan 13 12 at 8:02 pmThat I used it for the same reasons my children chose different dress up outfits. Because I wanted to look different. Of course, in our family, sometimes Dad wears makeup too, for the goth club or on Halloween, so the gender issue hasn’t ever mattered.
Danielle commented on Jan 13 12 at 9:50 pmMy nephew (who is not feminine in the slightest) used to wear his sister’s pink Crocs when he was around 3, just because he liked them and they were hers…I think that kids start really gender segregating around 4 (going by my experience with Maddy), so he will not be into it in about a year or so.
Maddy started getting into my makeup (which I never wear) around that age.
foundation & bridal makeup courses commented on Jan 14 12 at 1:05 amMost women have people in their lives who are always the one they go to if they need hair styled or nails manicured. If you are that person, you should absolutely consider beauty courses as a way to turn your talent into a career.Estee Clair Academy provide training in the field of make-up to help you find careers as make-up artists in the Beauty and fashion industry.
Kristina commented on Jan 15 12 at 9:52 amMy son will be 4 next month, and I paint his toenails. He has an 11 yr old sister he idolizes, and when she and I are painting our nails, he wants his to be sparkly too, lol. Hes little and I really don’t think its going to affect him one way or the other. Of course, when I met my husband he was gothing it out, so makeup for men really isn’t an issue around here. That being said, we do live in a tiny little town right in the middle of the bible belt, so I am a bit more careful as far as my kids go. I don’t paint his fingernails, because I don’t want someone in a store going all “well meaning redneck” on my 3 yr old. I don’t have enough bail money for all that lol. It does aggravate me that I have to be careful, just because people don’t know how to mind their own business, grrr.
Rebekah commented on Jan 15 12 at 12:28 pmMy son is only 20 months old. He always sits with me while I do my makeup and loves to play with it and copy what I do. I let him, but I don’t like him putting it on himself only because he usually ends up with it all over the place. I don’t care that he is a boy at all. I do tell him that it is mommy’s make up and it is for adults. I don’t know what I will do when he is 3, and I have not thought about it until now. However, I am not going to stop him because he is a boy. Plus he is a child! I think its fine.
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