Toddler Times
I Cannot Get My Toddler To Stop Screaming
He's cute, but BOY! he has lungs.
My toddler screams.
A lot.
He screams when he’s frustrated. He screams when he’s mad. He screams when he’s happy. He screams when he’s sad.
(Wow, I sound like a Dr. Suess book!)
But really, my kid screeches to decibils that will deafen ears and shatter glass. It’s an incredible skill he has mastered and I hear it is pretty common amoung small humans around two years old. What started as a cute squawk as he discovered his voice has developed into a full-blown banshee wail the moment he drops a Matchbox car.
I’d like it to stop, and to stop now please.
I tried ignoring the behavior. I turned my back, I walked out of the room, I kept doing what I was doing to show him that screaming does not warrant attention. Except…he wasn’t doing it for attention.
I tried scolding him. “Harrison, no screaming.” I’d say firmly whenever he began screeching. Sure, he’d get quiet for a second and then realize that the scolding made him MORE mad or MORE sad and WHAM! he’d rev up again.
I tried whispering to him. “The experts” on some “expert article” I stumbled across on the interwebs said that if I whispered, he would have to stop screaming to hear what I had to say. Too bad he didn’t give two flying flips what I had to say.
I tried screaming along with him. (Not at him, mind you!) A friend of mine suggested wailing right along with him to show him how ridiculous the behavior was. That lasted once because he just thought it was funny. Oops.
Then I decided that the screaming, deep down at the root, was simply a form of expression. And I needed to teach the kid a more healthy way and ear-friendly of expressing his delight/anger/fear/sadness. So we taught him to say “Oh, dear!” It is something that I say on the regular, so it was natural for him to pick up despite him not being a huge talker. Everytime he screeched we said, “Oh, dear! Harrison, say ‘oh dear!’” and he obliged. We beat him to the punch – the moment a Matchbox car dropped, we exclaimed “Oh, dear!” and he would repeat instead of screeching. Two weeks into “Oh, dear!” as an alternative to screaming, I can safely take off my ear muffs.
Beth Anne writes words & takes pictures on The Heir to Blair.
You can also find her on the Twitters & Facebook.
She is not a parenting “expert” by any stretch of the imagination.
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11 Comments
Alyssa commented on Jan 05 12 at 9:30 pmMy 20 month old screams for fun, too! We were at dinner at a nice restaurant when he started and we were getting stares, so I covered his mouth. Of course he found it hilarious, and began covering his own mouth and screaming even louder. I will happily try your trick!
Jenn @ Monkey Butt Junction commented on Jan 05 12 at 9:33 pmI think you should have taught him “oh, bother,” like Eeyore. How could would Harrison be?
I like this technique. I think I’ll start on Oh, bother with my son tomorrow.
Candice commented on Jan 05 12 at 9:38 pmSome of my 19 month old’s gave words are oopsie, uh oh, oh no way (my fave), and “I sowed.” it definitely prevents some screaming, but we still hear a bunch.
Jessica commented on Jan 05 12 at 9:38 pmWell BA, I’m delighted to know that I’m not alone in this. I’ve tried everything too. Maybe “Oh, dear” will work with William…
Candice commented on Jan 05 12 at 9:39 pmGeez autocorrect. Should be “fave” words and “sowee.”
Sigers commented on Jan 05 12 at 10:07 pmThat is an awesome solution!
Tracy commented on Jan 06 12 at 2:08 amI noticed Abby picking up on some of our sayings too. Totally helps with the two year old screaming. Her current phrases are, “No Thank You,” “Oh Really,” and “Holy Cow.” She and H would have a great time hanging out. Could you imagine the amazeballs conversations they would have. :)
Angela commented on Jan 09 12 at 9:55 amWe taught Belle, 2 weeks older then Harrison, to say “Oh sugar” and “Oh man” when she drops something. She now picks random moments to say “oh man”. So funny. Now the screeching when she is laughing I would love to figure out how to stop.
Danielle Steele commented on Jan 09 12 at 7:43 pmInteresting, I might have to try this, because we are in the middle of screaming for any reason all of the time. IT IS KILLING ME
Jenni commented on Jan 09 12 at 8:19 pmHave to try this because my husband and my ears are “bleeding.”
ERICA commented on Feb 06 12 at 9:49 amMy son does the same bloddy murder scream and can hold it for a month straight (ok maybe thats an exaggeration) but it feels like an eternity! I think my eardrums have some permanent minor damage!
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