Do you consider your husband your partner in parenting? According to the U.S. Census Bureau you are wrong.

In their recently released report, “Who’s Minding the Kids?,” the mother is referred to throughout as the “designated parent” and any person or facility who cares for her children while she is away from the home or working is part of a “childcare arrangement,” including her husband, you know, the children’s father.

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You're not doing anybody any favors, Gwyneth.

I love Gwyneth Paltrow. I’ve said it before, even as I’ve openly mocked her in post after post. I mean, you can’t not get a kick out of someone whose life revolves around fashion shoots and interviews and red carpet events but who is still JUST SO DAMN DOWN TO EARTH. And by “so damn down to Earth” I mean “such a wealthy, privileged hippie.” She’s the perfect combo of well-meaning and oblivious, which is what makes her as adorable as she is annoying.

In her latest spread for Harper’s Bazaar, Paltrow looks incredible. Too skinny almost, but super-duper muscular in a dress with so many cutaways it would make Nicki Minaj blush. Justine Picardie is kind when she writes, “As she falls naturally into yoga stretches during the course of the conversation, supple as a cat, you realize that this is a woman for whom working out has become essential.” A lesser journalist may have penned, “This bitch cannot sit still!”

In the piece, which is so flattering to the 39-year-old Oscar winner it’s nauseating, Paltrow says she doesn’t like Botox but she admits to getting laser treatment. (Quoth Jezebel: “That’s cool. I’m sure they’re organic lasers.”) She talks about adopting a clean living philosophy as a result of her dad’s cancer. I can relate, tho unlike Gwyn, I’m not on a “no gluten, no dairy, no sugar” diet. But most importantly, Gwynny dishes about her favorite subject, her family life. She says she gets up at 7 every day with the kids and brags that either she or her hubby Chris are always the ones to do the school run, despite the fact that they have a nanny. I gotta give her props for that. I also love the fact that she admits she always thought her daughter would be a “really cool butch lesbian,” but alas, she thinks if Apple is gay, “she’s a lipstick lesbian.” All this retro terminology makes me miss the 90′s!

The striking thing about this profile, in fact, is that it proves just exactly how retro Paltrow’s views are. She’s sure to set an alarm bell off in any modern woman’s mind when she says, “I have little kids in school. I want to maintain my marriage and my family, so I have to be here when (my husband) comes home.” Later she adds, “Gloria Steinem may string me up by my toes, but all I can do is my best, and I can do only what works for me and my family.” Continue reading »

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Sisters are doing it for themselves, but they want help from their employers.

As I noted earlier, Working Mother magazine recently interviewed nearly 4,000 mothers nationwide to determine what their worries and needs are.  We know now that both mothers who work outside the home and stay-at-home moms carry the weight of retro expectations on their shoulders when it comes to their domestic life, but what about life outside the home?  What do career-oriented mothers want and need in order to both flourish in the workplace and feel as if they’re providing fully for their children?

According to Working Mother, the 5 most important benefits for working moms are: Continue reading »

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What's the one thing working mothers and SAHMs worry about? You won't believe it.

Working Mother magazine released a study this morning called What Moms Choose: The Working Mother Report, “a survey of 3,700 mothers nationwide reveal[ing] surprising insights into the differences and similarities between moms who work outside the home and moms who stay at home, as well as the factors that influence their decisions.”

As mothers, we’re all aware of the hot-button issues that make us feel divided and judged by our peers, and working vs. staying at home is certainly near the top of the list.  Each lifestyle choice brings with it its own set of guilty feelings, sense of inadequacy and source of pride (sometimes verging on arrogant righteousness).  So, besides caring for our children, what do working mothers and stay-at-home mothers have in common?  It turns out, there’s one thing both groups of women worry that they’ll be judged on, and it’s honestly so hilariously, ridiculously sad and retro that you’ll laugh when you read it.

The one concern both working mothers and stay-at-home mothers have in common is… Continue reading »

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Should women be given a salary for their work at home?

Forget the “push present,” I’d much rather get a paycheck that shows me my work in the house and with the children is not just valued by my husband, but that he realizes and acknowledges that my time spent raising our children is just as important as his working time. And that it is inherently valuable and worth being compensated.

And I’m not the only one. In an interview with CNN, Wendy Luhabe, Chancellor of the University of Johannesburg and an international thought leader, says that women who give up careers to stay home and raise their children should be paid a salary.

Luhabe suggests that allocating a salary equal to 10% of the woman’s husband’s income would help assuage the resentment that some women feel at having to make the choice to stay home and would give more value to bringing up children in our society.

I can attest from personal experience that it really does. Continue reading »

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When take your daughter's to work is dangerous -- and the only option.

Any working parent knows that childcare can be a scramble — a job-threatening, tears-inducing, wallet-emptying scramble. But rarely is the search childcare life-threatening, or even dangerous, for the kid.

Not so for Col. Latifa Nabizada’s daughter, Malalai. The 5-year-old frequently rides along with her mom, a helicopter pilot who is sent on sometimes dangerous missions for Afghanistan’s Air Force. Nabizada is the only female pilot in Afghan aviation history and it’s a job she fought hard to train for, to get and to keep. Continue reading »

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Is working worth it if childcare puts you in the red?

Mommyish, a parenting site recently launched by B5 Media, ran an interesting post yesterday titled, “My Babysitter Makes More Money Than I Do.”  In it, writer Angela Arsenault admits, “it costs me money each time I write one of these posts,” but, she says, “I don’t care, because sometimes this written thought is the only one I get to complete all day.”

I understand where Arsenault is coming from.  Often times the money I make from a stand-up set doesn’t entirely cover the cost of childcare, but I’m so happy to be out of the house and doing what I love that I’ve learned to make it work.  (I don’t mean to brag, but comedians typically make anywhere from $20 to a whopping $25 for 10 minutes of work.  Never mind that I have to invest three hours including travel time in order to do that 10 minute spot, which means I’m out $5 or $10 in babysitting money.)  The idea of “paying to play” got me thinking about whether or not losing money on creative ventures is an integral part of the game, or if allowing ourselves to be financially exploited is a bad habit many women have. Continue reading »

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