Yeah, I can open it. WHEN I BREAK IT ON YOUR SKULL.

The first thing I feel when I look at these atrocious ads is grateful.  Grateful that we are where we are now.  Grateful that my daughter is growing up in a world where women are increasingly seen as equal to men.  Granted, women still earn something like 75 cents for every dollar a man makes.  There is a gender-related wage gap in virtually every occupational category.

And still…

Take a look at the 25 advertisements below and you might also feel grateful to those who went before who beat bloodied hands on glass ceilings to pave the way for us, our daughters and their daughters.

Wives and mothers from sixties and before had it particularly bad.  They were prisoners of society’s expectations.  How could they ever truly know who they were if they had to conform to what was deemed appropriate feminine behavior?

Thank God I came of age in the age of “You can be anything you want to be” movement.  I know sexism and gender inequality is alive and well, but when I look at my daughter the possibilities seem endless.  Especially compared to the little girls who grew up seeing advertisements like the ones featured below.  Some are so horrible it’s tough to believe they’re real.  But they are. Continue reading »

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Me and my fella in our favorite city in the world.

A lot of lip service is devoted to the secret to a long-lasting marriage. It’s one of the main questions proffered to couples who’ve lasted decades. “What’s your secret?” we ask, as if they’re going to impart some magical advice that we can easily apply in our own marriages. Never go to bed angry, don’t sweat the small stuff and all that jazz.

Guess what? I go to bed angry all the time and I totally sweat the small stuff. In fact, I’m sweatier over the small stuff than the large stuff… And I plan on being married forever.

The other day a woman named Iris Krasnow, who has written a book called The Secret Lives of Wives: What It Really Takes To Stay Married, wrote an article for the Huffington Post called The Fine Line Between Marriage And Divorce.

It’s the first time I’ve read an article that so closely mirrors my owns thoughts about marriage.  In fact, the article inspired me to write a post on my personal blog, The Girl Who, called The Secret To Staying Married According To Moi. My opinion is a controversial one, especially because I thing arguing is absolutely normal and am suspicious of the schmoopy couples.

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A growing crop of young women are taking up the narrative of marriage on their blogs. Some are mothers, some are not. Some are not even  married, just fascinated by the concept.

What they have in common is a focus on being a wife and homemaker. They’re pushing buttons for women who resent being defined by their marriages, and finding an audience in those who revel in these roles.

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My husband and I have a very clear division of labor in our marriage:  He calls the cable company whenever there’s a problem.  I don’t.  That rule was created about three years ago, after an hour long phone call with a service rep that left my with a nearly permanent eye-twitch.

Other than that, we’ve got a pretty flexible system for dividing household chores based on strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and the number of hours in the day.  Since I’m a stay-home parent, much of the household work falls to me, but the man knows his way around a vacuum cleaner and is not afraid to use it.  Gadgets we split:  Computers fall to me, iPods to him.  And the dishes are simply the responsibility of the last one up every night.

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