“Don’t talk to strangers” – it’s a rule that many of us learned early and have been quick to pass on to our kids.  I remember telling my husband shortly after our first child was born after an unfamiliar car and driver sat parked outside our house for an hour one night, “Suddenly, every one I don’t know is a potential predator.”

But as Lenore Skenazy points out in a post at Parentdish, stranger danger not only doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, it might be dangerous.

Skenazy writes:
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In a ridiculous abduction case going on in Florida, a 14-year-old boy has been arrested for “kidnapping” a 3-year-old girl because he tried to help her find her mother after coming across her lost in a department store.

Edwin, who the Sun Sentinel identifies only by his first name, was shopping with his mother when he saw a little girl wandering alone looking for her mom. Surveillance videos captured what happened next: Edwin spoke to the little girl, and offered to help her find her mom. He got his own mother involved, and the two of them began looking for the girl’s mom.

Seeing a group of women standing outside the door, in the mall, Edwin walked out of the store with the little girl following to see if her mom was among them. She wasn’t, so they returned to the store, where they located the mother and returned the child.

End of story, right? Wrong.

In the meantime, the mom had urged a store employee to call 911, and when police arrived on the scene, they arrested Edwin for kidnapping and led him out of the mall in handcuffs, paraded in front of TV reporters.

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In a world where, “Don’t talk to strangers” is often trotted out as rule #1 for keeping kids’ safe, offering to watch a stranger’s child for even a few minutes is a radical act. Rachel Federman shares her experience doing just that on Free Range Kids today.

Rachel found herself at a playground recently where her toddler was playing with two other small boys. The other kids mom was trying to round them up to run home for a few minutes and move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. They were resisting, as children at playgrounds will.

Then Rachel did something wild: she offered to watch the other woman’s kids. They didn’t know each other. And still don’t. But for a few minutes she stood guard over their safety at the playground while their mom did her laundry.

I’ve done this myself. It’s appalling how unusual it is, and how transgressive it feels. Why don’t moms help each other out like this all the time?

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A reader on ChildWild pointed out this week that Boston’s Museum of Science has a policy against letting kids have their own memberships, due to security concerns.

“Security concerns”? Whose security are they concerned about?

Is this another case of Stranger Danger paranoia, or are they worried that someone might pose as my kindergartner to sneak into the bumblebee dress-up corner?

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If your kids’ favorite author was going to be speaking at their school, would you want them to undergo background checks to make sure they’re not a pedophile?

Authors across Britain have gotten their knickers in a twist thanks to a new ruling that requires they all register with a national database and submit to background checks before they can make the rounds to peddle their books and read to the kids. Continue reading »

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Here’s a rich one for our desperate-to-get-the-kids-more-exercise society: In the upstate New York town of Saratoga Springs, children at some schools aren’t allowed to bike or walk to school. In fact, when one student rode to school, with his mother, on a bike path, his bike was confiscated (the rule had never been publicized).

The principal goes on at some length rationalizing the rule. Mostly he’s scared of traffic and stranger abductions. Continue reading »

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