“If you aren’t bruising the child you’re not spanking the child enough.”

Would it surprise you to find out the above quote comes from a pastor as he preached to a congregation?

It does. The quote was just one of several played in shocking audiotapes featured on last night’s 20/20 on ABC. A woman who grew up in an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church – or IFB – claimed church leaders would tell members God wants them to beat children as young as two weeks old. Why? “Crying too much. That cry is a cry of the will and that will needs to be broken.” You can hear the pastor shout “How many whacks is irrelevant, you might need 100 strikes. That’s what the bible speaks about.”

There are thousands of IFB churches across the United States and hundreds of thousands of members. They’re ultra-conservative, interpreting the bible literally -  which is how they justify child abuse. Continue reading »

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A new study published in Pediatrics suggests that parents who are aggressive toward one another are more likely to slap their children.  It’s important to note that we’re not talking broken-bones-and-cigarette-burns-level domestic violence here; just basic aggression (or passive-aggression), such as, “slaps, kicks or keeping a partner from seeing his or her family,” according to Reuters.  

Researchers found that 7 out of 10 U.S. families reported this type of abuse between couples, and within those families, 2 out of 3 toddlers were “spanked by a parent within the last month,” according to lead author Catherine A. Taylor, of the Tulane University School of Public Health.

Is that the relationship dynamic that was at play in the recent incident on Southwest, where flight attendant Beverly Kay McCurley intervened as a mother hit her child? Continue reading »

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A Boston-area junior high assistant principal is facing scrutiny from parents for espousing corporal punishment in his role as pastor of Calvary Chapel Cape Cod. 

Silas Coellner, a 40-year-old father of three, said in an online podcast for the church that spanking is “critical” and that parents should begin physically disciplining their children as soon as they are old enough to crawl.  “There’s something about when they reach that crawling stage,” he says, “when you can suddenly see that heart of defiance, of rebellion for the first time. That’s when you begin.” Continue reading »

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In three separate studies led by the University of North Carolina Injury Prevention Research Center, researchers have taken an in-depth look at corporal punishment around the world.  What they found, according to Desmond Runyan, lead author of one of the studies, is that “harsh treatment of children is epidemic in all communities.”  Continue reading »

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Brazil is the latest of several nations that have moved to prohibit the spanking of children.  A bill sent to the Brazilian Congress yesterday calls for parents who hit their kids to receive a warning, or even psychological treatment.  South American nations like Uruguay and Venezuela have already placed a ban on spanking, and the U.K. recently proposed a similar measure.    

The Associated Press reports that while child abuse has been outlawed in Brazil, “the new measure explicitly prohibits parents and guardians from using corporal punishment” or any “cruel or degrading treatment” that humiliates children.  I guess it’s a good thing I’ve never caved to my basest desires in a frustrated moment and made my daughter wear her poopy underwear on her head.  Because that would definitely be humiliating.

Or not.  One of the things I find most frustrating as a parent is that try though as I might to use the techniques I’ve honed from years of watching Supernanny, my daughter is still pooping her pants on the regular.  She’s elligible for kindergarten in the fall, but I’m reticent to send her, because I don’t want to make her bathroom issues the teacher’s problem.  No amount of discipline has inspired her to change her lazy ways.  I’ve tried throwing her dirty underwear away, I’ve tried ignoring the problem, I’ve tried bribes, I’ve tried using a serious voice, I’ve tried being loving.  I have, yes, even spanked her a handful of times (no pun intended), but I don’t advocate it, and each time I’ve regretted it.  My mother, on the other hand, thinks physical punishment is often what “does the trick.” 

Then again, my mother and I are a great example of the generational divide over spanking that Paula wrote about last week.  Continue reading »

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Is spanking harmful to kids? How you answer that question may depend upon when you were born.

ABC News’ “Good Morning America” aired a segment yesterday about the generational divide over spanking.

Though the segment provided no statistics on the topic, they did give anecdotal evidence. Laura and Todd Mansfield, who host Parenting Unplugged Radio, are opposed to spanking and do not use it to discipline their two sons, 6-year-old Connor and 3-year-old Drew.

“I’m like, ‘How can I do that to my child?’” Todd Mansfield told “Good Morning America.” “It does hurt me more than maybe it hurts them, but beyond that, I just didn’t want to do it. I knew there other ways.”

“I do think that spanking can be used as a form of abuse,” Laura Mansfield said.

But Laura Mansfield’s parents take a different position on the subject. On two occasions, they spanked Connor and Drew. The Mansfields were understandably furious that her parents spanked the kids without permission. Continue reading »

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Probably everyone who has raised a kid with a partner knows that you don’t always agree. Should Junior be allowed another cookie? How much TV is too much? What chores should your kids do, at what age? What are the consequences for misbehavior?

Essence explores how to deal when you don’t like your partner’s parenting. Specifically, what to do when you don’t agree about rules or how to enforce them. If one of you spanks and the other prefers to talk it out, how can you resolve your own differences? Do you need to?

Continue reading »

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