Beyond uncool. Way, way beyond uncool.

I read a piece last night about a sibling rivalry that troubled me, so much so that it lead me to ponder a broader question. But, first, the troubling story: a New York teen was arrested for killing her 9-year-old brother’s hamster during what was described as domestic dispute. The 19-year-old girl is accused of squeezing and choking the four-ounce animal to death, then throwing it across the street.

This is beyond disturbing for several reasons. First, how callous does one have to be to even jeopardize a 9-year-old’s beloved pet, much less kill it — regardless of what the much younger sibling had done? Next, many murderers first experience the act by killing pets. That puts this teen’s alleged actions squarely within the realm of sociopathic tendencies.

Or does it?

Continue reading »

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Typical, typical, typical

I’ve always been reluctant to accept the idea that birth order matters much. Who can blame me? I’m the little sister.

We youngest are always described as ne’er-do-well artistic types who are more inclined to sign up to bring brownies than run the whole bake sale. We youngest, so the birth order dogma goes, fall into jobs — jobs like blogging — rather than walking the straight-and-narrow toward math-heavy, analytical careers like engineering. I mean, technically, that describes me and my sib faaaaaairly accurately but see what I mean? I come out the adorable loser!

The only person worse off than a family’s youngest is that forgotten, lost, emotionally volatile middle-child. Now THERE’S a birth order ranking that’s got nothing good to offer. Continue reading »

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Two peas in a pod? Probably not.

Thanksgiving’s on the way and that means families will reunite. Mine, too. Thursday we’ll drive from New York City to my brother’s house in Bethesda, MD.  I live in a 2 bedroom apartment, my brother lives in a 4 bedroom house.   I’ve never owned a car, my brother has owned several SUVs.  My brother’s a movie buff. Me, I like books. But we look a lot alike.

My mom would say that my brother and I have been different from when we were very young.  I’d say the same about my own (fraternal) twins. As brothers and sisters, or brothers and brothers or sisters and sisters go, my family is pretty typical.  For the past 30 years, psychologists have been exploring why siblings can share genes and cognitive abilities but not personality types.  They have three big theories for why this is so often the case. Continue reading »

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Are only children happiest?

Are you an only child?  Do you only have one child or your own?  A new study suggests you may want to keep it that way if you want a happy child.

The study conducted by the Institute for Social and Economic Research has some shocking conclusions about only children being happiest among the children who participated in the  survey. Continue reading »

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In defense of weird kids

If you’re worried that your kids are weird — and having weird kids is NOT the goal — an essay today on Babble’s main site should reassure you that (1) your kid probably isn’t weird and (2) even so, he’ll be just fine.

Aeriel Brown, who performed in her family’s traveling circus as a kid, does a lot of reassuring to her friends, who often wonder aloud whether they’re kids are too weird. What they’re really saying, Brown writes in “The Weird Kids are Alright,” is that they fear they’re bad parents. Of course they’re not, she says. As for the weirdness? The more the better, she thinks. Continue reading »

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Does this kid have too many sisters?

Data gathered by the University of Texas suggests that the number and gender of one’s siblings could play a role in that person’s sexuality. According to the study, a male with a lot of sisters is less likely to attract females. Which might just leave such young men exclaiming “Rats!”

Exactly. You see, the study which yielded this data was done on… rats. David Crews, a psychobiologist at UT, says that when female rats are interested in mating with males, “they wiggle their ears,” which he says, “drives males nuts.” And the poor little boy rats with a bunch of sisters? Apparently they don’t receive such ear-wiggling foreplay as often as their peers.

So what does this mean for humans? Continue reading »

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Researcher Deborah Tannen gave an explanation yesterday in The New York Times for the recent studies that say having sisters makes us happier.

The usual explanation is that women talk about feelings more, which should make their siblings feel happier and more supported.

But she points to her own studies that show feeling-talk doesn’t matter, it’s just the act of talking that counts. Girls may be more likely to talk frequently, and simply being in contact with someone (even just keeping them company when you’re not explicitly talking about their emotions or how they’re doing) is good for people’s health and happiness.

Thalia A-M Bruehl wrote a really lovely piece about family size for Babble yesterday that touches on how sisters bring happiness to the family. Bruehl was 13-years-old when her family adopted a 19-year-old girl, so she has the unique perspective of knowing what it’s like to be an only child, and then to have a sister come into her life.

Having been on both sides of the only child versus siblings debate, how many kids does she say she wants for her own family in the future? Continue reading »

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