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Study theorizes more sexytime leaves teens less time for troublemaking.
Good news for parents of sexually active teens!
If you can get past the fact that your teen is having sex, that is.
A new study shows that having sex may reduce teenage misbehavior.
But there is one caveat.
Dating is easy for ladies with babies... if you look like Barbie.
According to dating site Match.com, “21% of single parents are currently dating someone versus 16% of singles without kids; 35% of single parents have been on a first date in the past year versus 27% of singles without kids.” Now, these statistics could have been manipulated in a million ways (what does “single” mean exactly, how precisely do you define “dating,” etc.), but the good news is, this means that single parents aren’t moping around sad, lonely and bored. We’re getting out, and as Jezebel’s Anna North put it, “getting it on.”
As a single mother myself, I can attest to the getting it on part. Since I’ve spent the better part of the last two years since my divorce following doing all of the things Match recommends the newly single parent do: compiling a killer wardrobe, maintaining a great hairstyle (one Eat Pray Love author Elizabeth Gilbert described as an “eff you cut“), I seem to have no problem snagging a squire for an evening of romance. What I can’t get is a date.
Let me rephrase that: it’s not that I think I am unable to get a date or that I think I’m not girlfriend material. It’s that I haven’t had a man ask to buy me dinner. That being said, I won’t deny that one of the first thoughts that exploded into my brain and out of my mouth when I knew I was leaving my husband was, “I gave you my 20′s! I had a kid. No one is going to want me now.” It took about a year, but as I devoted more time to my emotional recovery, health and well-being, I realized I wasn’t “damaged goods,” despite the fact that I felt it and meant it the day that I posted that as my Gchat status circa summer 2009.
No, it’s not that I think I’m undateable, it’s that I echo the sentiments of my friend, fellow comedian and single mother Calise Hawkins, when she says, “I’ve read too many books. I have an unrealistic definition of love. Or maybe I have an overinformed perspective on my possibilities. Either way, I’m ruined. I’m not gonna find it on a street corner. It’s not gonna find me in a free comedy show.” That last bit there is the clincher. It seems that men in New York – especially male comedians – are not interested in (and maybe can’t afford) buying a fancy dinner for a lady with a baby. When it comes to dating Gotham’s single mothers, I wonder if the prevailing male philosophy is, “Why buy the cow when you can get the MILF for free?”
So what are the top cities where, according to Match, “single moms rule the dating scene?” Continue reading »
Think you’re happy living with your partner? Don’t see any reason to get married?
Survey says couples who share housekeys but don’t tie the knot aren’t quite as happy as their married counterparts. At least the women aren’t.
A worldwide study of 22,000 women showed that married women are a little happier than those who live with their unmarried partners.
Why the difference? The correlation between a wedding band and extra joy was strongest in countries with strong, traditional views on marriage. This leads researchers to think women are happier when they feel like society approves of their relationships.
A new study says boys nurtured by their moms hold fewer grudges as adults
A friend’s mom once told me that a way the man treats his mom is the way he’ll treat his wife. And according to a new study, that isn’t just an old wives (or old mom’s) tale.
The way men interact in their adult relationships has a lot to do with the relationship they had with their mom as infants. Researchers at the University of Minnesota tracked a group of people born in the mid-1970s until they were college-age. When discussing hot-button issues, the men who had bonded strongly with their moms as infants were able to recover well from the discussion and move on to other topics of conversation. Those who weren’t close with their moms when they were young acted liked, well, toddlers and had trouble transitioning productively to another discussion.
Taking a break from marriage can breathe new life into your love.
In this week’s Modern Love, author Rachel Zucker describes the radical move she made in her otherwise happy marriage. One day, she turned to her beloved husband and said, “Let’s get a little divorced.”
Zucker doesn’t want to leave her husband, much. They’ve been married for 13 years, longer than her own parents stayed together (also longer than mine lasted). They have kids they love, a home they’ve invested in together, and a long history of mutual support and love.
Their marriage is a success story, made all the more awesome by the fact that they’re both children of divorce. Staying together for the long term is something they’ve made up on their own as they go along, and they’re proud of it.
As they come into their late 30s, though, Zucker can’t help but notice that a lot of her friends are getting divorced. And a lot of the women seem pretty happy about it.
They’re free to do what they like. Go to yoga. Lay in bed eating cookies and watching reruns of Sex in the City and just pretend they went to yoga. Go out on dates. Work as late as they like without having to dash out of the office early for soccer practice. Single life has its advantages.
Seeing her suddenly single friends enjoying life, Zucker wondered how she could get a little of that action. It’s not the divorce she wants; it’s a more egalitarian relationship with her husband. The freedom to spend a few days away from her family now and then. A coparent who will make school lunches and pick the kids up.
What causes divorce?
Statistically speaking, my marriage is doomed: for a host of reasons ranging from my childhood background to the age gap in my own marriage, the odds are totally against my husband and I growing happily old together.
I find this comforting.
It comforts me when we’re fighting, when we’re staring at the walls like zombies instead of embracing each other at the end of a long day, when I daydream about what color the curtains would be in a tiny apartment of my very own.
It’s not us, I think. We’re not bad people, or bad at being married. We’re just climbing a steep hill here.
Other people must find these thoughts comforting too, because there’s a booming market in the science of marriage, and divorce. The Daily Beast has culled some of the juicier bits to offer us a glimpse of what life circumstances lead to divorce. It’s not what you’d think.
When my girl was younger, she and my husband spent a lot of time playing Barbies together. I thought it was sweet that he did this and felt she was a lucky girl to have such a devoted papa. My mother-in-law, however, felt differently. After observing several hours of Barbie-playing during one of her visits, she warned my husband that he was crossing the line from parent to friend and this was not a good thing.
I still think playing Barbies with her was a wonderful bonding experience for both of them, but I do get what she was worrying about. We all want to have close relationships with our children, but there is such a thing as too close. And according to child and adolescent psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein, parents who treat their kids as equals and buddy around with them as if they were pals are swimming in “dangerous waters.” Continue reading »
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