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Strollerderby
Breastfeeding, or the lack thereof, continues to draw out some very opinionated people.
Well, it’s apparent that some people just don’t know how to keep rude (and often insane) comments to themselves when it comes to what they think of other people’s parenting skills. Clearly the judgments begin before the baby is even born as is evident from the many readers’ comments that piled in for “The Worst Things Said To Parents” last week. When we first put out a call for parents to tell us the worst comments they’ve ever received, we heard some pretty terrible digs, from “She’s not autistic; she just needs more discipline” to “Don’t your kids EVER listen?”
Yet the latest batch of readers comments seemed to be even worse….and there’s two recurring themes we noticed: many of the comments were said by in-laws and quite a few of them revolved around breastfeeding. Many readers related to the awful comments while one joked that she just might marry an orphan rather than deal with the horrible comments from in-laws.
Here are some of the latest readers’ comments: Continue reading »
If you have nothing nice to say....keep your mouth shut!
If you’re a parent, you’ve more than likely have been given some unsolicited advice every now and then. Sometimes it’s kind, generous even, but many times, it’s shocking and rude.
When my friend Karen had a two-week-old infant, she went to the store desperate for diapers. It was not far, and she had her newborn nestled in a carrier when one woman on her block saw her and admonished her for taking such a young infant outside. It was May and 75 degrees, the sun was shining and the baby was comfy and safe. According to the old woman, the baby was in danger of being in the general public while his immune system was so brand new.
Between her fear of doing anything to hurt her baby and her hormones that had been recently unleashed, Karen went home and cried, partly because such a nasty remark caught her off guard but also because she was a new mom, scared, and very sleep-deprived.
We polled our Facebook fans and asked them to finish this sentence,
“The worst thing anyone’s ever said to me as a parent is ________.”
Yikes, did we get some harsh responses!
#whenihavekids
Remember a time before you had kids? When they were just a sparkle in your eye and not a living, breathing, eating and growing entity living under your roof?
Before you had your children you probably had some pretty grand ideas of what kind of parent you would be and what would be important to you once you had them. Me? I believed my offspring would not watch TV, would not eat sugar and would start studying Mandarin at the age of three. Yeah, that really didn’t work out as planned. All of us have a short list of beliefs we hope to hold when we have our kids, whether you follow through…that’s another matter.
This topic was explored on Twitter this week with the conversation starter – the trending topic – #whenihavekids. There were some common themes amongst the gazillion of tweets from people who don’t have kids yet; the desire to be married before procreating, the wanting to be a better parent then their own and the many men intending to be there for their kids when their own dads were M.I.A. But amongst those were some tweets that were sweet, sad, sensible and silly (as well as a couple of questionable taste).
Check out what these 20 tweeters put down as their hopes for #whenihavekids. Continue reading »
Parenting can be so damn stressful. Kids push boundaries and buttons, and it’s a parent’s job to stay calm and steady in the face of it all. But most of us don’t perform this job with absolute perfection. We sometimes and say things to our kids we wish we could stuff back inside our mouths. I’m sure most of us have some cringeworthy moments to mull over and make up for.
But some verbal mistakes are worse than others. Parenting expert Chick Moorman, the author of Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Child in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility, thinks there are seven really big baddies. How many of them have you heard slip out of your mouth? Continue reading »
A Southwest Airlines flight attendant temporarily took a baby from her mother during an in flight altercation that witnesses say included the mother slapping the 13-month-old repeatedly to get her to stop screaming.
The flight attendant said that the woman appeared agitated. Her baby was screaming, and her husband was yelling her to make the baby be quiet. During this time, the flight attendant saw the mother “strike the child with an open hand on the face in an attempt to get the child to stop crying,” and slap the baby on the legs. Other witness heard the mother tell the baby to “shut up” and that “I didn’t hit you that hard.”
Melody Warnick of Parenting.com has written a piece called “6 Most Annoying Things Kids Say.” In it, she recounts the words and phrases kids use that push our buttons and drive us over the edge. But as she points out, the mom who responds to”You’re not the boss of me!” with “Wanna bet?” isn’t really making things easier for herself. Not only is she not teaching her child to express herself in a courteous way, she’s lowering herself to her level and getting into a verbal sparring match in which nobody wins.
A better response, Warnick says, is one that connects to the feelings behind the words rather than the words themselves. In this case, the child feels like she has no control and by giving her choices rather than orders, she is more likely to respond positively.
That’s good advice and I’ll try to remember that if my own kid ever pulls that one me. But I don’t think she will because at the age of nine, she’s pretty much got her repertoire of annoying sayings down pat and that one doesn’t make the list. Continue reading »
Today, Lisa Belkin tackles the concept of over-parenting at Motherlode. She cites a paper to be published later this year in The U.C. Davis Law Review by Gaia Bernstein and Zvi Triger that gently mocks Intensive Parenting (as they call it), needling at mothers for using the Internet as a parenting resource (ahem) and suggesting that over-parenting is creating a generation of co-dependent, clingy kids.
Belkin doesn’t flat-out condemn over-parenting, but she admits that modern parents often have trouble letting go of our kids. She writes, “I think the point of parenting is to guide children toward independence. The goal, starkly put, is for them to stop needing you.” As for how to reach that goal? “The road from here to there is different from child to child and parent to parent,” she says.
Wait, you mean there are no answers? There is no sure-fire method by which to raise The Perfect Child? Then what are we all doing on the Internet? Continue reading »
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