Here, honey. This ought to do the trick. Should I make a quick Taco Bell run?

My wife is currently pregnant with our fifth child. So she’s been down the whole pregnancy road before. And for her, thankfully, morning sickness doesn’t seem to be part of the journey. In her two previous pregnancies, she’s experienced very little of it—just a touch at the very, very beginning.

In fact, that’s what alerted her to this pregnancy. For three days she was nauseous, though now, it’s gone and will likely never return. But if it does, can you imagine her surprise if I told her: “Relax, honey. I got just what you need,” while dangling a plastic baggie in front of her. “A nickel bag of funk.”

Yesterday, MomLogic posted a piece called Pregnant Pot Smokers Sound Off. It detailed a guest post written by Jessica Katz just last week entitled Marijuana and Morning Sickness. In it, Jessica details how difficult her second pregnancy has been due to morning sickness. In fact, she points out that it’s anything but “morning” sickness, instead “24-hours-a-day” sickness, in spite of taking Zofran. She was more than a little surprised when her doctor recommended that she… smoke some pot. Continue reading »

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I know the current thinking with raising kids is that parents have to meet the kids where they’re at, support them in their interests, help them navigate the world. This means not forcing a son to play football when he’d rather swim or dance or read. This means letting the girls wear pink and play in high heels, no matter how much you swore you’d never let that happen.

What all of this doesn’t mean, however, is that families have to compromise their values. Moms and dads don’t have to ignore their gut instincts. Every whim of the child doesn’t have to be met with a new uniform, required shoes and a  year’s commitment to lessons. Telling a child “no” is well within the realm of good parenting.

Or am I just being old-fashioned? A mother wrote in to MomLogic asking for advice. Continue reading »

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Can a woman be so drop-dead gorgeous that she’s distracting to look at, even in a turtleneck?  That’s what former Citibank employee Debrahlee Lorenzana thinks.

The 33-year-old single mother was recently, um, canned from Citi because – she says – her employers found her wardrobe to be unprofessional.  She feels she was discriminated against for being too beautiful and is suing Citi for sexual harassment.

You know, Debrahlee, we have a lot in common.  I’m also a 33-year-old single mother.  In fact, I’m quite sure the only reason I’m not dating anyone right now is because I’m too hot.  Men just can’t handle this.  Friday night, I was hosting a show, and someone said, “You look hot tonight!”  And I thought, “Does she mean sweaty?”  Cuz I am that hot.  HOT.

According to the Daily News, Lorenzana said higher-ups told her, “‘Oh, your pants are too tight. You cannot wear turtlenecks. You cannot wear pencil skirts because you draw too much attention.’”  Now, I’m not trying to make light of what might be a serious situation, because I know how difficult it can be as a woman to conform to corporate dress, especially during the summer months.  I temped at various Wall Street firms for years, and I once got in trouble for wearing well-tailored black capri pants that fell below the knee.  It was one of those 98 degree days in New York and I got derided for wearing “shorts.”  Meanwhile, my colleagues in their much shorter pencil skirts were considered appropriately dressed.  (Another firm allowed me to wear jeans for months as an admin, until finally one of my favorite guys on the sales desk said, “You know, I don’t care if you wear jeans, but I think the other girls are getting jealous.”)

I’m just saying, Lorenzana makes it sound like she simply can’t control the ravages of her beauty and that no matter what she wore she was left feeling helpless.  There are photos of her in various clingy outfits all over the Internet, and while I don’t think they’re at all unprofessional, it doesn’t seem like she went out of her way to minimize the “flounce,” as a friend of mine was once was chided for.  Too much flounce in the workplace!  Maybe she should have just come to work naked? Continue reading »

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When the public talks about parents pitching in at their children’s schools and taking an active role in their children’s educations, I’m right there pumping my fist in the air cheering parental involvement on. Let’s promote literacy! Let’s build a gym!

But I lose my enthusiasm when it comes to parental involvement in school projects. I was stunned last year at my city’s district-wide science fair: kindergartners building rockets? Third-graders managing miniature wind farms? I talked to the mother of a Kindergartener, whose quite sophisticated project on color was selected to represent her school at the district fair. Dad’s an artist, interestingly enough. Mom says all she did was type up the report. Mmmmhmmm. Continue reading »

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Mattel’s latest Barbie line is called the “Barbie Basic Collection” and features 12 dolls dressed in something many women couldn’t live without: The little black dress. But one of these dolls appears to be sporting something else women have grown quite fond of:   Breast implants.

The Barbie in question is Model No. 10, featuring “African American skin tone, a striking Little Black Dress with a plunging neckline, and long sleek hair.”   Her face we’ve seen before – it’s called the Desiree sculpt and first appeared on Barbie dolls back in 2002.  But we are fairly sure would have remembered if we’d seen that cleavage before.  Did Barbie get breast implants? Continue reading »

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Well, not my kid and definitely not my sex tape.  But Momlogic guest-blogger Margie (last name not given for fairly obvious reasons) says her tween daughter found her sex tape and watched it.  Sure, kids need to learn about the birds and the bees, but not at age 9 via homemade instructional video starring Mom and Dad.

While the story seems fairly innocuous (Margie says she caught her daughter watching the tape, by accident, about 10-seconds in and stopped it immediately), I have to ask, what makes people want to make sex tapes to begin with???  Homemade porn is fodder for many a comedian, and while I’ve never talked about it on stage, the concept just blows my mind.  (My sketch partners and I mock it in this remake of the Sophie B. Hawkins classic, I Wish You Were My Lover – NSFW.)  Then again, I’m not really into the professional stuff, either.  I’ve got a pretty vivid fantasy life, and if I wanted to see bad acting, I could just borrow my mother’s copy of All About Steve.  (Fun fact: Sandra Bullock won the Oscar for Best Actress and the Razzie for Worst Actress in the same year.)  Now there’s a woman who should probably be making sex tapes.  But since she’s a parent, then again, maybe not.  Let’s hope Sandra doesn’t end up like Margie, with a forgotten tape lying around.  How do you explain to your adopted son that he’s seeing his would-have-been Dad making love to his Mom right before she caught him cheating with a woman who has a swastika tattooed on her face?  Nazi face is inappropriate even for a sex tape.  (Okay, I know.  The swastika isn’t on her face.  But the camera would probably be spending more time closer to where it actually is, anyway.) Continue reading »

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The Gay Uncle Brett Berk is trying to advise the fathers of a 10-year-old on whether they should host a sleepover party for their son. Writing at Momlogic, the two dads worry that one little thing might get misconstrued and suddenly their child’s college fund is footing their legal bills.

Should they have the party? The Gay Uncle thinks so. He thinks gay-hating parents will self-select out of the affair. To provide extra armor, so to speak, he recommends a medieval theme where the boys show up in full-body plate-mail. (But I think he’s kidding.)

The whole situation reminded me of a conversation I had with some co-workers 10 years ago. Continue reading »

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