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Does your marriage have a nagging problem? You know, the kind where one of you keeps pestering the other to do some simple tasks that never seem to get done. The more you nag, the more your partner dawdles and blows off your requests. Which leads to more nagging.
A recent Wall Street Journal article called this problem potentially as toxic as adultery. It’s a pattern that has certainly caused some chaos in my own marriage, and I’ve watched it corrode intimacy between friends. Nagging can be a vicious cycle, with both partners feeling like they’re being pitted against each other over things they should be on the same side about. You both want the dishes to be done and the bills to be paid. Why are you fighting about these things?
Amanda Marcotte has a great solution over on XX. Continue reading »
Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife is making headlines today saying he asked her for an open marriage before their divorce.
While that seems like a slimy request from a cheater trying to wiggle out of having betrayed his wife, Newt’s not alone in wanting non-monogamy. Anywhere from 1 % to 10% of couples are living intentionally non-monogamous lives.
My husband and I are among them, and we’re pretty happy with our arrangement.
![GetUp Marriage Equality 300x276 Gorgeous New Ad for Marriage Equality Goes Viral [VIDEO]](http://cdn.babble.com/strollerderby/files/2011/12/GetUp-Marriage-Equality.jpg "GetUp-Marriage-Equality")
GetUp! Australia's poignant marriage equality video hits all the right notes.
On the day after Thanksgiving, Get up! Australia released a video promoting marriage equality that beautifully and poignantly illustrates that marriage represents the culmination of love and commitment every couple might aspire to, not just those that fall under the narrow definition of “a man and a woman,” like the politicians keep flogging year after year.
As governments and people around the world struggle with the issue, GetUp! created the video to gloriously re-frame the debate—not as an issue of rights that are to be demanded so much, but as an issue of a couple’s commitment to each other being hindered by the status quo. As the campaign simply states, “It’s time. Stop marriage discrimination.”
With almost 3 million views on YouTube in less than a week, the message has struck a chord with people and spread well beyond the Australian audience it was intended for. See the video after the jump.
Yeah, I can open it. WHEN I BREAK IT ON YOUR SKULL.
The first thing I feel when I look at these atrocious ads is grateful. Grateful that we are where we are now. Grateful that my daughter is growing up in a world where women are increasingly seen as equal to men. Granted, women still earn something like 75 cents for every dollar a man makes. There is a gender-related wage gap in virtually every occupational category.
And still…
Take a look at the 25 advertisements below and you might also feel grateful to those who went before who beat bloodied hands on glass ceilings to pave the way for us, our daughters and their daughters.
Wives and mothers from sixties and before had it particularly bad. They were prisoners of society’s expectations. How could they ever truly know who they were if they had to conform to what was deemed appropriate feminine behavior?
Thank God I came of age in the age of “You can be anything you want to be” movement. I know sexism and gender inequality is alive and well, but when I look at my daughter the possibilities seem endless. Especially compared to the little girls who grew up seeing advertisements like the ones featured below. Some are so horrible it’s tough to believe they’re real. But they are. Continue reading »
Nobody said pet peeves had to be rational.
Last week, during National Pet Peeves Week, I happened across an article written by an unmarried woman detailing her top ten pet peeves about men. While reading her complaints, I thought, “Wow, honey, just wait ’til you live with a man for thirteen years! I’ll show you some truly ‘pet’ peeves … ”
Where a young woman’s pet peeves might be more along the Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus lines, the pet peeves of couples who’ve lived together for a long time are those of people who have had years to slowly become completely unhinged over the smallest things. The most innocent act can become a trigger because the infuriating thing about pet peeves is that they do not have to be founded in rationality. In fact, it’s their very specificity and unique-ness that make them a “pet peeve.”
That said, despite our mutual love and admiration for each other, I’ve had years to build up my list of peeves, as has my husband. There’s not a doubt in my mind that he’d be quick to tell you about the maddening pile of clothes that I always leave in the bathroom, that I’m usually late (ex. Pet Peeves Week was LAST week), and that if he finds my laptop precariously balanced on the bar just inches above the kitchen sink again, he’s gonna scream.
It’s a two-way street. I get it.
What would you change the next time around?
Did you agonize over your wedding? Many of us have. Most of us would change a thing or two if we could go back in time (hopefully not our choice of spouse though!).
Over at Moms & the City, Melissa Gerstein asks the question “Would You Want To Be A Bride Again?” I was speaking with a friend (whom I’ll call Mary) about this very question just last week. After nearly 15 years of marriage, she too was contemplating renewing her wedding vows.
Couples with more have more to fight over?
It seems a bit counter-intuitive, but a new study reveals that couples with more money fight more … about, you guessed it, money.
And despite the lives of the rich and wanna-be-famous, alá The Real Housewives, being glamorized everywhere you look, it turns out that, quite literally, as Kait Smith of YourTango points out, ”Money can’t buy you love.”
It will come as no surprise that the real culprit in causing marital strife is materialism and how each of the people in the relationship view the money. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that if you or your partner is more interested in your stuff than one another — there are some serious problems.
Happily, there is an antidote that is free, easily obtained, and can help cure your materialism issues! Continue reading »
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