Alfie Kohn lays out his arguments for how to let kids learn.

Yesterday, Lisa Belkin’s Parentlode post pointed to Alfie Kohn’s article, “The Case Against Grades,” published in the most recent Educational Leadership journal. Kohn is an author and lecturer who’s made a lot of cases against a lot of things thought to be a normal part of childhood: homework, rewards and punishments, standardized tests, saying “no.” Kohn’s cases are made not with appeals to preserve a child’s self-esteem or everybody taking home a trophy. Rather, his arguments are supported by studies that mostly conclude the best way to help a child learn is to get out of her way.

Homework, gold stars, lost recess and the almighty A+? Those actually thwart a child’s native sense of wonder. Not only are they motivation killers but they actually stunt real learning — exploration, connection of ideas, experimentation — and turn school into a kind of game. Which hoops do I need to jump through? Okay, those and only those will I jump through. Forget about risk-taking. That GPA is on your permanent record. Continue reading »

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A broken ankle teaches Lisa Belkin a new appreciation for technology

Last weekend, a lot of us celebrated the National Day of Unplugging, a time-out from technology intended to help us reconnect with the people and passions that really matter in our lives.

Lisa Belkin of Motherlode thought she’d be one of them. Minutes after she posted her intentions on her blog, however, she fell outside her home, breaking both ankles.

Her cell phone didn’t rescue her. Her sons did. She screamed where she fell, and they ran out to help her. It was a cell phone that made the 911 call to get her an ambulance though, and a cell phone that redirected her husband from their planned dinner out to the emergency room she was taken to.

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Mr. Lady of Whiskey in My Sippy Cup.

A week before I started writing for Strollerderby, I leaked the news of my soon-to-be gig to a mom-blogger friend of mine. I was surprised when she acted as if she hadn’t heard of Babble. So I pressed her a bit, only to hear her say “Wait, are they the ones who put out all those lists I’m never on?”

My friend was familiar with Babble. But not only that, she was also familiar with Babble’s annual top 50 mom bloggers — disappointed, even, that she didn’t make the 2009 list. Not that she was bitter. She wasn’t. She just knew what an honor it was to be included in this group. After all, they’re picked by veterans of the mom blogosphere — fellow mom bloggers, parenting writers and editors — who know whereof they vote. And my friend’s not the only one who recognizes this. Another blogger recently described Babble’s list as “better than the Emmys.”

While that may be up for debate, there’s one thing that’s not: The 50 folks who made this list are among the most talented, clever and thought-provoking parents writing on the Internet today. Here are my faves from four of Babble’s Top Mom Blog categories: funniest, best written, most controversial, and overall best.
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Pregnant Princess

For some women, being pregnant is a wonderful experience.  In addition to the unparalleled thrill of creating a brand new human being, there’s all that glorious attention your condition brings.  People smile at you, give up their seats for you and go out of their way to acknowledge just how special you are.

Unless, of course, it’s your second child.  In that case, nobody cares. Continue reading »

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Lisa Belkin has written a piece for the Sunday New York Times Magazine about apologies and how everyone is doing it so badly these days.  As an example, she points to BP chief executive Tony Hayward’s I’m-sorry-but-it’s-not-really-my-fault apology.  His insincere regret, she says, is worse than no apology at all.

I agree with her there.  A bad apology is worthless.  Except when it comes from a child.  While Belkin wonders at Motherlode if we aren’t teaching our young children to “go through the motions” when we make them apologize for something they don’t regret, I believe there’s value in a forced expression of remorse. Continue reading »

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Lisa Belkin turned over Motherlode today (and will again, periodically) to one of her most frequent — and critical commenters. He’s William McCloskey and his beef with Belkin and the parenting world at large is that single fathers get no respect. Or at least not much. And, in any case, writing about parenting is always for moms.

McCloskey has a point that most parenting writing is addresses mothers, sometimes specifically. Mom-Friendly Cooking! The 10 Kid Things Your Purse Needs! Stuff like that. But what’s also interesting is at the end of his column, he says he’d never buy a parenting book and most fathers wouldn’t either. Well, there’s the target audience problem in a nutshell right there! Continue reading »

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I was amused when my 7th grade biology teacher insisted that it was impossible for two blue or green eyed parents like mine to produce brown-eyed children like me and my brother.

“You should talk to your parents about this,” said the teacher, looking more than a bit concerned that he had just revealed a family secret.

The truth is that it was my idea of a practical joke. My parents had already told my brother and me that we had been adopted as babies.

When it came time to create a family tree, I researched the ancestors of the only family I knew and ignored my biological origins. I don’t remember being troubled by the assignment at all, but I can see how others in the same situation might feel uncomfortable.

In yesterday’s “Motherlode” column in The New York Times, Lisa Belkin addresses the issue of how teachers assign family trees and other biology-related projects to students who may not know their biological roots.

It’s not just adoptees who might have a problem with genetics assignments. What about all of the kids who are part of non-traditional families? Once you include gay parents, blended families, and families formed by sperm or egg donation or surrogate parents, that’s a significant group.

Belkin’s column features David Smith, an adoptive parent and science teacher, hated to see his 4th grade daughter, who was adopted, to feel left out because of a homework assignment. Smith suggests a solution to the problem:

Teachers should teach population biology (there’s a great collaborative activity at k12science.org, for example) instead of pedigree genetics. Kids still learn that offspring resemble their biological parent, but they also learn that not all dominant traits are common.

Adoptive Families magazine also provides a 1-page handout for teachers to educate them about adoption and ways they can incorporate the it into the classroom.

The family tree project is instructive, but there are other ways to convey the same information. There is no reason an assignment should exclude a segment of the student population.

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