Pick-your-own Apples a “Wasteful Scam?”

I’m a sucker for tradition. So I was excited last week to head out for our third annual Halloween Hayride to the Witches House at our local pick-your-own spot. After less than two hours, we left $100 lighter and a whole lot of pumpkins and apples heavier. When did wholesomeness get so expensive?

I’m not the only one wondering this. Daniel Gross writes in this 2006 Slate column, reprinted last week, “Apple picking is a cherished rite of fall, a wholesome and fun family outing… I look forward to it every year. It’s also a wasteful scam.” Continue reading »

Baby Survives Fall Under Train: VIDEO

How often do you use the brake on your child’s stroller? Probably not all that often, but after you watch this video, you might reconsider. Continue reading »

Fewer Babies Means More Opportunity?

Over at SFGate’s The Mommy Files, blogger Amy Graff writes of a purported “baby bust,” the first time in years that fewer babies are being born. Whether or not there is an actual baby bust going on (several commenters to her blog would argue otherwise), Graff offers an amusing look at all the benefits to having a baby during a baby bust, rather than boom: Continue reading »

Want to Look Beautiful? Eat Your Pickles

I’m not sure what it is, but there’s just something inherently funny about pickles. Don’t take my word for it; here’s what all the 6-year-olds were saying at the camp I worked at this summer: Continue reading »

Update: Billy Mays, TV Pitchman Extraordinaire, Dead at 50

Preliminary autopsy results on Billy Mays have been released by the Hillsborough County medical examiner’s office. Continue reading »

Mother of Jackson’s Kids Says He’s Not the Father

Debbie Rowe, mother of Michael Jackson’s two oldest children, Paris and Prince, told Britain’s News of the World that Michael Jackson is not the children’s biological father, rather she was impregnated with the sperm of an anonymous donor. Continue reading »

14-year-olds Charged as Adults in Locker Room Assault Case

Four boys from Tampa, Florida may spend the rest of their lives behind bars for what they probably thought was a locker room prank.

But their 13-year-old victim certainly doesn’t see it as a prank.

The teens are accused of repeatedly sodomizing the victim with a broomstick and hockey stick. The assaults continued for two months. Despite the victim’s screams and numerous witnesses, no one came forward to report the crimes.

In fact, the alleged attacks only came to light when the victim was questioned about another incident, a fight on a football field. After revealing the attacks, his four accused attackers each gave written statements to the school, in which they all confessed to sexually assaulting the victim.

Now they are being charged as adults with four counts each of sexual battery. They could be sentenced to 120 years in prison if convicted on all counts.

This is clearly a horrifying story, made all the more so by the fact that so many students must have heard or seen the attacks and no one alerted authorities. I can’t even imagine the shame and fear the victim must have felt that made him keep silent.

But do you think the boys should be charged as adults? What they did was atrocious, but should you really be punished for the rest of your life for decisions you made at 14? Yes, they were stupid and cruel and vicious. But should they go to jail for the rest of their lives? Does the fact that they did this at 14 mean they’re any more likely to do it again when they’re 21?

I don’t know the answer. When I think about this happening to one of my own sons, it makes me sick to my stomach. And I would most certainly want his attackers to pay. But what price?

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They Say: Potty Jokes ‘Vital to Our Existence’

If you cringe every time your toddler cracks himself up by shouting “poopyhead!” repeatedly, take heart. Some experts say that scatological humor should not only be accepted, but encouraged.

Ed Dunkelblau is a psychologist who works with schools and companies preaching the gospel of humor. “Kids learn to build relationships through humor and laughter,” he says. “We forget that humor, laughter, and play are vital to our existence.”

Others say that joke-telling is a triumph of language and should be celebrated as such.

“A kid who is really hopped up on humor shows a sign of intelligence at an early age,” says Pat Sandy, senior program director for American Greetings. “Yes, there’s a time and a place for everything, but armpit farts and booger jokes show an ability to take incongruent devices and bring them together.”

That’s not news in my communal household, where humor of every kind is celebrated, sometimes with mixed results.

Take the time at Thanksgiving dinner, when my then-3-year-old niece was at the height of her joke-repeating prowess, parroting her father’s quips with confidence, despite not knowing what was so funny. (Example: What’s the tastiest number? Pi!) This, of course, only made it funnier.

Her father whispered a joke in her ear, then Erika turned around and announced to the table (filled with three dozen assorted friends, grandparents, and other relatives), “Two penises were walking down the street…”

Stunned silence.

My brother-in-law jumped in, “No, two PEANUTS were walking down the street! PEANUTS!”

I think Erika’s version was better.

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David Archuleta’s Dad Even More Embarrassing Than We Thought

Remember baby-faced David Archuleta, runner-up of last year’s American Idol and son to supposedly pushy, controlling dad Jeff? Dad made headlines last year for supposedly getting too, ahem, “involved” in his son’s song selections and performances.

But if David thought that was embarrassing, then he must really be hurting now. Continue reading »

Top 10 Most Unnecessarily Caffeinated Items

Seriously, when was the last time you got a good night’s sleep? Before you had kids, right? Now you’re probably a caffeine whore like the rest of us, taking your drug whenever and however you can.

Well, thanks to us, retailers are finding ever more ways to get caffeine into our systems (coffee is so yesterday!), from oatmeal to lollipops. You might argue that there’s no such thing as an “unnecessarily caffeinated” item. But you haven’t seen this list yet:

1. Caffeinated Inhaler Continue reading »