Who’s Smarter: Kids or Dogs?

Recently a commenter asserted that raising a child is identical to raising a dog. “Both can be encouraged to good behavior through rewards and discouraged from bad behavior through punishment.”  “Both demand enthusiastic praise and consistant (sic) (non-angry) discipline.” “Just like a dog, you must put a plastic cone on a child’s head to keep them from chewing on their butt.” Okay, I made that last one up. Or did I?

Many took umbrage with the commenter’s remarks, but I (always the scientist) decided to put them to the test. Over a weekend I pitted my three-year-old against our 1 ½ year old border collie to once and for all resolve the question: who is smarter, a toddler or a dog? Here are the competitors.

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Bad Parent Essays We’d Like To See

I grew up reading Mad Magazine, and one of the regular features was things “we’d like to see.” For example, “Honest Campaign Slogans We’d Like To See.” You get the idea.

In honor of the new book “Dirt is Good for You: True Stories of Surviving Parenthood” which features some of Babble’s Bad Parent essays, here are some Bad Parent Essays We’d Like To See. Continue reading »

How to Defend Against a Baby with A Knife

So important you watch this, guys.

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New I-Phone App to Detect Balloon Hoaxes?

So I thought the Fromage app was cool.  I mean, what’s not to like about a tool that can identify over 380 cheeses?  And the Surf Report will surely satisfy my inner Gidget, but, this…this is an app we can ALL use:

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Childbirth Doll a Little Too Accurate

Of course this is on Etsy, where else would it have been?! Based on everything I know of Etsy crafters I want to hang with those ladies because they are CRUNKED. They are like the Tony Starks of knitting. Except instead of getting hooched and flying around blasting their repulsers, they slam the purple drank, pick up some needles and do some damage.

Who ever made this is the Andy Warhol of crafting. Check out this latest epic squeezed out of the factory.

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Dad Uses His Own Kid to Shield Self from Pepper Spray

Ahhh kids, so handy. There they are: plowing the fields, working seven paper routes to pay for your new HD TV and always at the ready to take a face full of pepper spray for dear old dad.

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7 Most Inappropriate Products for Kids.

What do toddler stripper heels, plush dolls representing various sexual diseases and a children’s tattoo parlor play set all have in common? They’re amongst the 7 Most Inappropriate Products for Kids.

The Huff Po just put together a list of some really questionable toys and products aimed at kids. Such as:

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The Childbirth Song

For every woman out there who’s pushed out a baby, only to have her husband turn to her and say, “Well.  That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” I give you Helen Austin’s “The Childbirth Song.”

You’ve bags under your eyes
You’ve got boobs to your knees
Your hand’s full of poo and your bra’s full of cheese

Watch it, and I dare you not to laugh:

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The Top 10 Weirdest Things Said to Pregnant Women

5. This old lady at Target looked at me and shook her head. She said, “You young girls need to see there are other things to do in the winter, and you won’t end up in your situation.” I told her I was in my mid 20s and had been married for 3 years and that my “situation” was actually a blessing!

It’s nice when geriatric strangers walk up to you and call you a harlot.

Recently iVillage asked readers to respond to the question, “What’s the weirdest, rudest or most oblivious thing anyone has said to you while you were pregnant?” The top answers ranged from baffling, to TMI to creepy. Continue reading »

German Sesame Street Parody - Bernie und Ert

I’m not sure what I was looking for when I came across this one. Must have been something Sesame Street related. But wow. This just blew my mind.

For a moment I thought that this was the German version of Sesame Street. There are many international versions of the show, so I thought this could be the real thing. It’s not. The whole cyclops thing should have been my first clue, but I was tired.

So what is it? Continue reading »