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Stuff Parents Say
First there was “Sh*t Girls Say,” “Sh*t Single Girls Say,” “Sh*t Asian Girls Say,” and so on, and so on. It has spread like wildfire. And now there is Stuff Parents Say. As Buzzfeed said, “There’s a reason it’s not called Sh*t Parents Say. Because moms and dads don’t use that kind of language around their kids.”
The collection of quotes include:
“Go take the trash out.”
“Don’t put your elbows on the table.”
“Do you pay the bills in this house?”
and “You are not going out dressed like this.”
But it gets disturbing when there is a scene where the “parent” hits a sleeping kid with a belt. A disturbing image for sure, that coincides with the “The reason I beat you is because I love you.” This seemed to have crossed the line, it could have remained all silly and funny instead of delving into the issues of child abuse.
If you’d like to check out “Stuff Parents Say” you can check it out right here:
O Chrismas tree, O Christmas tree ...
Today’s the day when we put it all up. The wreaths. The candles and stockings and snow globes. I’m the one who takes out all the Christmas decor and puts it up. This means it’s my husband’s job to put it away. He’s not a big fan of this, and he wrote a poem to tell you why.
Two Weeks After Christmas: A Dad’s Lament
‘Twas two weeks after Christmas and all through the house
The only sound you could hear was the sound of me grouse
My back hurt. I was tired. I needed a cup of joe
My wife rolled over and pretended not to know
Today’s the dreaded day to put away all the décor
When I trudge back and forth 40 times to the third floor
I’d had all the presents and all the joy that would be
It had now come down to an epic battle with that tree
First, please God save me, I remove the tree light tangle
The way she puts them on the tree makes me want to strangle
"Are you f***-ing kidding me?!?!"
Delivering the happy news of a first pregnancy to your parents is normally an occasion for hugs, tears, and perhaps some tender grandmotherly words on how her baby “is all grown up and having your own baby now.”
Which is sweet… but also seems pretty freakin’ lame if you compare it to the reaction of this gay father caught on tape getting the news of his impending grandfather-hood. The new video (set to go viral, if ever there was one) captures perhaps the most epically ecstatic response ever in all time to being called a grandpa.
In the spirit of the grandpa-to-be noting that “Christmas is coming early this year!”, I wish this family a wonderful New Year and a lifetime of squealing, clapping, and jumping around in happiness!
What food on my mouth? Oooooh.
I remember writing down my son’s first lie in his baby book. While not one of my proudest parenting moments in the memory banks, I noted it because it marked the transformation of my baby into a willful toddler who was growing up and becoming aware that he was a separate being from me — with his own desires and needs. I also wrote it down because it was hilarious.
A toddler’s attempts to lie are still steeped in an innocence that makes the lies more funny than mean-spirited, so it’s easy to forgive them. You can’t really hold their lies against them when they’re so outrageously bad at it, after all.
And if you’ve ever seen a two-year-old trying to stick with a lie — you know that it is comedy gold. The folks at The Stir were lucky enough to find a video that a mom took of her donut-lovin’ toddler trying to weasel his way out of trouble and into MORE donuts. It is priceless…
Babyrabies' Elf on The Shelf contest is an absolute riot.
After getting a huge reaction from across the web for her photos of an Elf on the Shelf in compromising positions, blogger Jill Williams Krause decided to take her idea to the next level by launching the Innapropriate Elf Contest.
The contest encouraged her readers and others to send in their own photos of elves behaving in ways that are, shall we say, rated R. She received more than 80 entries, many of them laugh-out-loud funny as you’ll see below. Continue reading »
Poor Girl Had Major Butterflies in Her Stomach
You can only feel sorry for this little girl. While performing some kind of witchy incantation as part of what one could only assume was a winter pageant, she has a epically bad attack of stage fright. It’s the manifestation of what many would think of as a worst case scenario when on stage; worse than missing your mark, forgetting your lines or having a piece of bathroom tissue attached to the bottom of your shoe. This little girl – with major butterflies in her stomach – she threw up on stage.
This really is pretty much the worst thing that could happen, but a teacher (or parent) was quick to react and help the totally stunned girl out. Either this young lady will have hardly any stage fright moving forward (because the worst has already occurred) or she will never ever step foot on a stage again.
Check out the video of the poor girl right here! But be warned it’s a bit stomach churning, don’t watch while eating, drinking for with the kids (unless they have a fondness for vomit videos). Continue reading »
Women competing in the Tough Mudder 12-mile obstacle course race. Photo Credit: Matt Costa
What is it with this new “Mud Run” phenomenon — and why is it always paired with the word “fun”?? Clearly I am missing something because running in mud sounds more like a punishment, or boot camp. And in my book, punishing physical activity á la Private Benjamin does not equal fun.
And if so-called fun events like the Dirty Girl Mud Run weren’t enough to make me wonder what self-flagellation gene has recently been triggered in modern women, I heard of another race called Tough Mudder. Here’s what they say in their PR about team racing on their 12-mile course: “To get through mud, fire, ice-water, and 10,000 volts of electricity you’ll need teammates to pick you up when your spirits dip.”
10,000 volts of electricity? Could that be right? Or legal?? Continue reading »
Joslyn Gray 
Amber Doty 
Julianna Miner 
Monica Bielanko 
Sierra Black 
Meredith Carroll 
Carolyn Castiglia 
Sunny Chanel 
Madeline Holler 
Wendy Michaels 
Rebecca Odes 
Danielle Smith 
Danielle Sullivan 
Katherine Stone 
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