Photo Caption: Hoarders on A&E

My least favorite part of the holidays is taking everything down at the end of the season. It’s so depressing and of course, no one helps. There is none of the enthusiasm and unbridled joy that accompanies putting the Christmas tree up.  No children are jumping around yelling “Mom! Can I please carry boxes to the garage and untangle lights and vacuum up pine needles?! Please?!”

No. There is none of that.

So I dutifully clean everything up and put everything away. And while I’m at it… I start to purge random crap that I come across. What is this box in the closet? GONE. Do we really need that old chair we moved to make room for the tree? No, we do not. And that big pile of mail/paperwork/to-be-dealt-with-later… It’s gonna get dealt with now. Continue reading »

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I am a terrible cleaner. Scratch that. I can scour a pot and scrub a toilet like nobody’s business. I just don’t have that gene that tells you to pick something up and put it away after you take it out. Perhaps this could have been beaten into me by more aggressive parenting. But my parents did try. I still remember my Dad’s ingenious attempt at a catchy acronym designed to get me to recognize the piles of detritus I was leaving in my wake before they accumulated:

P. I. B.

That stands for Put It Back, in case you couldn’t figure it out. Sadly, while the phrase, meaning and pained expression on my father’s face was etched permanently into my memory, the behavioral adjustment was not made.   Now, I’m the messy mother of two kids who are showing strong signs of messiness.  I would really really like to instill some cleaning skills into my offspring, and while I’m at it, into myself. But I’m not quite sure where to start.

Here’s what I’m thinking so far:

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Does your house look like this?

Before we had kids, my husband and I spent a year living out of backpacks. Everything we needed fit into 4,800 cubic inches of space. Many years and three kids later, we have a houseful of stuff. I spend my days shuffling stuff: toys to bins, laundry to baskets, dishes to dishwasher, clothes to closets, books and games and movies to shelves; boxes and cans and containers to the recycling, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the next day, I do it all over again.

“Stuff” is practically an epidemic in many U.S. households. Hence the popularity of shows like A&E’s Hoarders and the Style Network’s Clean House. American families are looking for ways to control the clutter. And today, USA Today featured one family who’s doing just that.  They’ve found a way to clear the decks: no packaging, no packaged goods, no paper towels, no Q-tips, no cotton balls or tissue… the list goes on… toilet paper? Continue reading »

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Donna Simpson

Feeling bad about the leftover Christmas cookies you ate last night?  You won’t after you read this.

Donna Simpson, the New Jersey mother of two who is trying to reach a goal weight of 1,000 pounds, is back in the news – this time for having eaten a 30,000 calorie Christmas dinner.  According to The Daily Telegraph, Simpson ate two 25 pound turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15 pounds of potatoes, a 10 pound roast, five pounds of mashed potatoes, five loaves of bread, 5 pounds of stuffing, three litres of gravy, three litres of cranberry dressing and 20 pounds of vegetables.  (Hey – at least she got some veggies in.  That’s more than I can say for my 5-year-old… who weighs less than the two turkeys Simpson ate.)

The Telegraph notes, “After polishing off her enormous main course, she still had room for dessert and ate a “salad” made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies.” Continue reading »

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Extreme couponing may save money, but it can take a toll on relationships.

The premiere of TLC’s Extreme Couponing has people frantically searching the web for coupon deals.  But “extreme couponing” can be a form of obsessive compulsive disorder, as ABC News reported this week.  ABC profiled shoppers featured on Extreme Couponing, like Amanda – who once used over 1,000 coupons to take her shopping total from $1100 to a meager $51.  Is that savings impressive?  Sure.  But not if you stack it next to the $35,000 she and her husband pay to insure their stockpile of goods.

Extreme couponer Nathan had this to say about his obsession: “Shopping is like chess. You’re trying to beat the opponent, which is the store.” I can’t imagine walking into a store feeling like I was heading into battle. The shoppers examined on Extreme Couponing aren’t just average people trying to save on their grocery bill. They’re like gamblers addicted to the thrill of finding the next great sale.

Take a look: Continue reading »

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Picking up the kitchen last week I came across some stray cardboard and recycled it.  Two days later, my four-year-old asked me where her “very special cardboard that came with her new baby doll” was.

Uh-oh.

After several minutes of tears and reassurance, she finally seemed to grasp that my mistake was unintentional.  Yet now that I’ve been branded as a thrower-awayer, she doesn’t trust me with any of her possessions.  “Where’s my ______ ?” she’ll ask, a touch of panic in her voice.  “Did you THROW IT AWAY?”

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