Helicopter Parenting - Are We Letting Our Kids Down?

This summer, my 6-year-old learned to ride a two-wheeler.  Not 24 hours after that first wobbly solo ride, she asked me if she could ride around the block by herself.

“Sure,” I stammered, after a moment’s hesitation.  And then I sat on my porch and sat on my hands to prevent myself from following her.  It felt right, but it was hard letting go.

Later that night, my husband — the parent less likely to hover — said, “Oh, I would have never let her do that.”  I had to do a gut recheck:  Had I misjudged?

I don’t think I did (and after watching her, my husband agreed).  Teaching kids to be independent is part of parenting, one of the harder parts for most of us.  But her confidence grew each time she circled the block — how could we take that away from her to save ourselves a little anxiety?

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Is Sending Kids to the Mall Alone A Criminal Act?

Is twelve too young to go to the mall with a friend of the same age –and without a parent? And does your answer change if the mother in question sent her 12 year old daughter, her best friend of the same age, and her three younger siblings ages 8, 6 and 3 to roam alone for more than two hours?

And more importantly, does that mother deserve to face criminal charges of child endangerment for her act?
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Kids Forbidden to Bike or Walk to School

Here’s a rich one for our desperate-to-get-the-kids-more-exercise society: In the upstate New York town of Saratoga Springs, children at some schools aren’t allowed to bike or walk to school. In fact, when one student rode to school, with his mother, on a bike path, his bike was confiscated (the rule had never been publicized).

The principal goes on at some length rationalizing the rule. Mostly he’s scared of traffic and stranger abductions. Continue reading »

Dear Driver Passing My Bicycle: Shut Up

On one of her earlier trips out with our daughter in a bike seat, my wife got roundly told off by a stranger in a car for daring to do something so dangerous with a child.

I wish it were feasible to print up little copies of this post over at ChildWild and toss them into the windows of cars with drivers like that.

Short and sweet, and more polite than I would be, even in theory, the writer points out that taking your attention off the road to “startle, alarm, and anger” the bicycle rider vastly increases the danger of the situation.

Some great follow up comments note that the more people who bike, the safer it is (i.e., if you’re concerned about how safe it is, get on a bike yourself), and that regular biking is modeling healthy, active behavior for your kids, which we certainly need more of.

If I were actually making such an informative flyer, I would add “Oh, and by the way, it’s illegal for me to ride on the sidewalk, as I am over 10 years old, even though I do so sometimes anyway when I feel unsafe on the roads due to jerks like you. I like to follow the law. I’d appreciate it if you did the same, which in your case includes sharing the road with other vehicles.” Then I would give said informative flyer to the police among others.

It’s not that everyone with any experience in urban cycling isn’t constantly aware of how defensively they need to ride, especially with kids in tow. The point is not that it’s risk free. But it is amazing how many drivers who would never yell at parents for doing other less safe, less legal, less otherwise beneficial things feel OK letting loose at parents who cycle with their kids.

Photo CC by Howard N2GOT.

More by this author:

• Why Are People Such Jerks to Children?
• Caillou: Love Him or Hate Him?