Last week, we pondered whether or not people whose own parents divorced are more likely to stay married themselves. The jury seems to be out on this one, but one thing is clear: divorce has a lifelong impact on kids.

In a weekend essay at the Wall Street Journal, titled “The Divorce Generation“, author Susan Gregory Thomas suggests that “When did your parents get divorced?” is the defining question of our generation, much as “Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” was for our parents.

Personally, I always thought the defining historical question of my generation was “Where were you when the Challenger blew up?”. Plenty of kids I grew up with had parents who doggedly stayed married, and are still married. My own weren’t among them, so I see where Ms. Thomas is coming from. Divorce changed everything about my childhood, and the echoes of my parents’ divorce inform the choices I make as a spouse and parent today.

But to define our whole generation as a product of divorce? I think Ms. Thomas may be looking at history through divorce-colored glasses.

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Undivorced couples are neither together nor apart

It’s easy to think of marriage as a black and white state: you go from being unmarried to married in an instant when you say, “I do”. From there on out you’re either married, widowed or divorced.

Reality isn’t so smooth, though. A growing number of couples find themselves in a limbo-land between being married and splitting up. Some, like Juliet Bridges writing in the Telegraph, think of themselves as “undivorced“.

Juliet and her husband live apart, mostly. They have no plans to divorce, but aren’t exactly on the path to reconciliation. They continue to parent their kids together in the house they once shared, but her husband rarely stays the night. For two years, they’ve floated in this in-between state, neither one eager to pull the trigger on divorce and neither quite ready to be together.

They’re far from alone.

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Divorce rates are highest in Eastern Europe

We know a lot about why people get divorced, and who gets divorced. Now the Huffington Post brings us a slideshow on where the highest divorce rates in the world are.

The United States is smack in the middle of the list, coming in at number 5. The other nations that make the top 10 don’t have much in common with us, though. They fall mainly into two camps: exotic island locales, and former Soviet nations.

Russia tops the list, with the Ukraine, Belarus, Lithuania, the Czech Republic and Moldova all appearing. The former Soviet nations appear to be a divorce-happy region. I know little about Russian or Eastern European culture, so I’m counting on readers to enlighten me as to why. Maybe its simply more accepted there? Easier to accomplish legally? Are there economic or cultural factors at play? Continue reading »

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There isn’t much that can make divorce easier on a family, but technology might have solved at least one problem for parents:  how to keep up with their kids between visitations.

A number of states have guaranteed virtual visits between parent and child. Continue reading »

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There’s a big headline over at Us Weekly that’s intended to make Jon Gosselin look bad. For the first time ever, it had the opposite effect.

Turns out Jon and Kate Gosselin finally are in the same boat as the rest of us – just with eight kids and oodles of dollars earned pimping said kids to the world. They have to split their holidays. Continue reading »

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