One of the deadbeat dads for whom you'll feel some sympathy after watching the video

I’m definitely against deadbeat dads (and moms). If the law says you have to pay child support, you have to pay it. Period. End of story. If you don’t pay it? Go to jail.

But. I just watched this video of sheriffs in Lee County, Alabama, who caught a bunch of deadbeat parents. In order to serve them with their arrest warrants, the suspects had been sent letters indicating they had won tickets to the Iron Bowl — the annual Alabama/Auburn game, which is one of the fiercest rivalries and most heated games in college football.

Upon arriving at a celebration in their honor in which people are there cheering them on for their big “win,” and in which news crews appear to be present, each deadbeat parent is then ushered into a private room (accompanied by video cameras) and told they are under arrest for owing child support. In one case, a stunned, docile-looking man with bad knees is “restrained” by no less than eight deputies.

Here’s my question: Is this the best use of the sheriff department’s resources? If they had the mailing addresses to send off the letters, couldn’t they just have showed up at their homes to arrest them instead? Why the elaborate (and probably expensive) ruse?  If the grandstanding was to send a message to other deadbeats to pay up or make other people think the sheriff’s office is being spectacularly proactive, I think it had the opposite effect, as I just feel really, really bad for the ticket “winners.”

Check out the video and decide for yourself if the Lee County Sherrif’s Office is brilliant or cruel:

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My son needs $46,000 a month (bare minimum!) to get by.

I’ve never liked Linda Evangelista.  Not that, like, we meet up at dinner parties and she snubs me or anything.  She’s just always rubbed me the wrong way.  I suppose I’ve just read various articles about her and after about the tenth or eleventh one decided where there’s smoke, there’s fire and that she’s probably not a very nice person.

Turns out, I was right. Or I’m about as vindicated in my dislike as I’ll get, because, get this, the supermodel (God, I hate that term) is asking her baby-daddy (who also happens to be Salma Hayek’s billionaire baby-daddy and husband) for $46,000 a month in child support.  No, not a year.  Not a decade.  A MONTH.

According to Evangelista, the sum is the “minimum required” for 4-year-old Augustin James to provide for the boy in the manner in which he has grown accustomed.

Robert Frank from Yahoo consulted a “lifestyle management firm for wealthy families” (lifestyle management firm for wealthy families?  gag!) and learned how a 4-year-old living in Manhattan could burn through $46,000.

“At first glance, $46,000 seems like an extraordinary amount and it is,” Natasha Pearl, from the “lifestyle management firm” says.  “But for a fortunate child in New York, it is actually absolutely conceivable that his expenses could approach $50,000 a month.”

Here’s how: Continue reading »

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Hell hath no fury like a woman owed back child support payments

Surely most people would rather owe $14,000 than $100,000. One person in particular is likely kicking himself that he didn’t pay the lesser bill when he had the chance: Philip Ragusa.

He and ex-wife, Frances Ragusa, 74, split up over 30 years ago, which is when Philip, now 77, failed to pay a $14,393.57 child support judgment as part of their divorce settlement. With interest, that total is now around $100,000, and Frances is determined to get what’s owed to her.

The Ragusa’s kids are long since grown, but Frances wants justice — and her money.
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Kathi-Smith Peterson could not believe she was given a check for nearly 30 years' worth of back child support.

Back in 1976, Kathi Smith-Petersen’s husband left her with two young girls and pregnant with another. Over the years, she raised her girls on her own, scrimping every step of the way to provide a normal childhood for her daughters while supporting them alone. She went through life choosing which bills to pay and stretching her small salary as far as she possibly could.

She never thought she’d see more than a few thousand dollars of the child support her ex-husband owed her, reports the Phoenix News. But that all changed this week when the Arizona Department of Economic Security workers asked her to come into the office to sign some papers.

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Would ending child support make marriages last longer?

There’s an open thread over at The Wall Street Journal Community site trying to tackle the question, “Would ending child support make marriages last longer?”  When I came upon the discussion, I was struck dumb, wondering how anyone could possibly think that was even an appropriate query to ponder.  The obvious answer is, yes, ending child support would certainly make abusive marriages last longer.  Is that something anyone wants to see happen?

A woman in an abusive relationship who has stopped working to raise her children and isn’t sure she can find suitable employment after leaving her husband would of course be reticent to walk away if she knew she wouldn’t have her husband’s financial help raising their children.  In a marriage where both partners are employed and/or financially solvent and the divorce is amicable, child support is really a non-issue.  After all, if two decent people who love their child(ren) are splitting simply because they’ve fallen out of love with one another, it follows that neither of them will have a problem doing right by their newly configured family.

So let’s focus on relationships, then, where a mother who has “opted-out” to raise a child is leaving a husband/partner who has grossly mistreated her.  Let’s presume that the mother is awarded physical custody and the father is ordered to pay child support.  Let’s further assume that this man has nothing but contempt for his victim who managed to get away, so he doesn’t want to pay child support.  This happens every day.  A man decides he shouldn’t have to pay child support because he doesn’t want to facilitate his ex’s life.  (“Why should that &*+@^ get my money?”)  But of course child support is child support – it’s not alimony.  Child support is money that literally supports the life of a child – money both parents (while employed) are required to contribute. Continue reading »

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Would ending child support make marriages last longer?

There’s an open thread over at The Wall Street Journal Community site trying to tackle the question, “Would ending child support make marriages last longer?”  When I came upon the discussion, I was struck dumb, wondering how anyone could possibly think that was even an appropriate query to ponder.  The obvious answer is, yes, ending child support would certainly make abusive marriages last longer.  Is that something anyone wants to see happen?

A woman in an abusive relationship who has stopped working to raise her children and isn’t sure she can find suitable employment after leaving her husband would of course be reticent to walk away if she knew she wouldn’t have her husband’s financial help raising their children.  In a marriage where both partners are employed and/or financially solvent and the divorce is amicable, child support is really a non-issue.  After all, if two decent people who love their child(ren) are splitting simply because they’ve fallen out of love with one another, it follows that neither of them will have a problem doing right by their newly configured family.

So let’s focus on relationships, then, where a mother who has “opted-out” to raise a child is leaving a husband/partner who has grossly mistreated her.  Let’s presume that the mother is awarded physical custody and the father is ordered to pay child support.  Let’s further assume that this man has nothing but contempt for his victim who managed to get away, so he doesn’t want to pay child support.  This happens every day.  A man decides he shouldn’t have to pay child support because he doesn’t want to facilitate his ex’s life.  (“Why should that &*+@^ get my money?”)  But of course child support is child support – it’s not alimony.  Child support is money that literally supports the life of a child – money both parents (while employed) are required to contribute. Continue reading »

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What happens when a surrogate mother changes her mind about giving you the baby you planned to raise?

Imagine: you’ve had six miscarriages in an attempt to have your first child.  You find a surrogate who is willing to carry your child for £10,000 in expenses.  Then half-way through the pregnancy, the surrogate decides she’s going to keep your baby.

Shockingly awful, no?  And that’s not where it ends.  A judge supports the surrogate’s decision to keep the baby because she is the biological mother of the child, and then the court orders you and your husband to pay the woman who stole your child £500/month in child support – even though you’ll never see the baby.

So is the court wrong here?  Not necessarily.  Here’s why: Continue reading »

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