My mother and daughter, April 2010.

The death of a child is unimaginable for most of us, and for those who have experienced it, surely a tragic, life-altering event.  The Chicago Sun-Times ran an emotional piece this week serving as a reminder that Mother’s Day lacks all sense of celebration for those who’ve lost a child to violence. 

Mothers gathered Sunday at St. Sabina Church in Chicago to attend a ceremony unveiling a sculpture by J.S. Kenar depicting “a young girl being menaced by an unformed stick-like human figure with a gun,” ”aimed at reminding all who see it that the battle to save lives is an ongoing one.”  Violence against children and teens in Chicago has been a major issue in the last year or more; CNN reported in May of 2009 that 36 school children had been murdered, more than one a week during the school year.  At that time, “The Rev. Michael Pfleger… ordered the American flag at St. Sabina Church hung upside-down — a historic sign of distress — to symbolize the growing death toll among the city’s youngsters.”

Other types of loss were noted this Mother’s Day, including a silent vigil in front of the White House by Mothers of Lost Children, which according to CNN’s iReport represents women whose children are in the custody of abusive fathers.  Attendees included “Mildred Muhammad, ex-wife of the DC sniper, and… Katie Tagle and Amy Leichtenberg, both who lost their children in murder-suicides with their abusive fathers.”  And of course mothers who have lost children to illness and accident feel the same grief.

Though women mourning their children have heavy hearts on what should be a holiday, losing a mother in young adulthood can sting badly, too.  New York comedian Mindy Raf, who was 28 when her mother passed away, says she tries to keep a sense of humor about being bombarded with all of the Mother’s Day gift ads that pop up each May.  “It’s hard not to feel left out, or feel like there’s extra salt in the wound on Mother’s Day. Like when you get an e-mail reminding you it’s not too late to save on your flower order. Um, sorry, but you’re wrong ProFlowers. It IS too late to. . .”save 10% on my mother’s day bouquet to Carol.”  Bex Schwartz, a 31-year-old writer/director and pop culture commentator, is still grieving the loss of her mother, who died of cancer last year. Continue reading »

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I want to be the kind of mother who can really put on a good Christmas. Decorations, lots of gifts, spiced cider simmering on the stove. But the one thing I’ve learned since becoming a mother is that sure, kids change you, but not that much. You’re still the cheap, passive procrastinator you were during the holidays back in the barren years.

What I’d like is for someone else would do the heavy-lifting for me. Which is why this photo speaks to me deeply. Continue reading »

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If you’re waking in up in California this morning, chances are you might be broke. Because your state is, and instead of paying people the money they owe them, it’s expected that what they’ll have deposited into their bank accounts today is a nice juicy IOU. Which can’t be cashed until October. While I am sorry for everybody who was hoping for a check today and is instead getting jack freakin squat, may I thank you, California, for temporarily taking the “most messed-up state” award from Michigan for a little while?

Don’t start smoking to cope with the stress, though, because the drugs that can help you quit could also make you want to kill yourself. Continue reading »

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Both my husband and I are famous for forgetting crucial items on a frequent basis, especially when it comes to kid’s needs like snacks or drinks. But leaving behind an actual baby? That hasn’t happened.

It did to a suburban Chicago mother. She’d gotten off a suburban Metra train in North Chicago and left behind her little 10 month old baby.

She realized what she’d done Continue reading »

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Is there a full moon or something?

First we had the dog who got flushed by a 4-year-old (but survived). Then, the mom who allegedly left her daughter on a corner to teach her to be “brave.”

Now, put the two together (sort of) and you get this: Continue reading »

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