No one's perfect, Madonna. Like you. On the guitar.

I’m a huge fan of Madonna. On most days there’s nowhere I’d rather be than in the audience at one of her concerts — preferably circa 1985 and the “Dress You Up” era. Or wearing a lace headband while posing in front of my bedroom mirror and listening to “Like a Virgin” circa 1984.

However, she’s one of the last women I’d ever want as a mom. I’m sure she’s loving and devoted. But try following in her footsteps and see what a loser you’d feel like. I mean, name one exceptionally accomplished person — like, millions-and-millions-of-albums-sold accomplished — who produced an offspring that was just as successful. Even if the offspring wasn’t looking for the same kind of success, the comparisons would still be inevitable, right?

So how about being Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes, 14, and having your mom criticizing you publicly? Can anyone sing “Mama Don’t Preach?”
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Me ruining my child with some age-inappropriate carrying

Spinning off the 100,000 pageview question of whether kids are too big for their strollers, Babble just published “Celeb Kids Who are Too Big To Be Carried“.

The article left me with a couple of questions.

1. If kids are supposed to be too big for their strollers,  how, exactly, are parents supposed to deal with them when they inevitably get tired, aside from picking them up?

2. Why the hell do people give a rat’s ass about this?

Let’s start with the first question, because the second one might take a while. Continue reading »

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What do Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Jakob Dylan, Rumer Willis, and Norah Jones have in common? They’re all famous children of famous parents. Now you can add Willow Smith to the exclusive club.

After her debut single “Whip My Hair” became an online sensation, the 9-year-old daughter of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith signed a record contract with Jay-Z’s label Roc Nation. Uploaded to YouTube 2 days ago, “Whip My Hair” has already gotten over 150,000 hits.

Willow is already a showbiz veteran, having starred alongside her famous father in “I Am Legend” in 2007. And, of course, her brother “Karate Kid” Jayden Smith is a star in his own right.

They’re clearly hugely talented, but no doubt, they also benefited from their parents’ fame. Continue reading »

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How is this not getting more news coverage? I know, Wikileaks has compromised the “war on terror” and oil still oozes into the gulf, with a storm bearing down on it for good measure. I know, President Obama is going on The View. But for pure newsworthy entertainment value, how did the camera crews of the world manage to miss Kate Gosselin and her 8 Goss-lings going camping with Sarah Palin?

You have to figure the shoe has yet to drop on this one. With Palin about to film her new television show, and Gosselin still filming hers, this is unlikely to be that rare event in either life that goes undocumented. I’m sure we’ll have many (heavily publicized) opportunities to enjoy the elder Palins schooling the young Gosselins in the ways of Alaska. (Will Bristol and Levi offer any bonus chastity lessons? Stay tuned.) But meanwhile, we’ll just have to hypothesize the topics of Palin-Gosselin hiking chat. Continue reading »

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s four-year-old daughter Shiloh likes to dress “like a boy.” She wears her hair short and favors hoodie sweatshirts and track suits. Do you have a problem with that?

Angelina doesn’t. In fact, she recently said that she finds her daughter’s wardrobe “fascinating.”

While promoting her new film ”Salt,” the actress told Reuters:

“I would never be the kind of parent to force somebody to be something they are not. I think that is just bad parenting… Children should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they wish without anybody judging them because it is an important part of their growth. Society always has something to learn when it comes to the way we judge each other, label each other. We have far to go.” Continue reading »

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This time last year, we saw Tiger Woods as a happily married man with a beautiful wife and family: a toddler, a baby. In a world of celebrity bad behavior, his was the rare happy family, and even people who didn’t care much about golf–like me–had him at least pegged as a good guy. Now, of course, he’s completely disgraced. His wasn’t just infidelity but cheating of the shoddiest kind. He’s tabloid and joke fodder, and gossip sites ( I favor the Hollywood Gossip today) are reporting that his divorce settlement will be the highest in any celebrity divorce, ever: $750 million. He’ll share “legal” custody of his now 3- and 1-year-old children, but his ex-wife will have them full time. He can never bring any other women around the kids.

And his soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin, can never, ever speak publicly about the events surrounding their divorce. No interviews. No TV. No books. Not now, not ever (even after Tiger’s death). Why? Continue reading »

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Is that the REALLY stylish way to wear Silly Bandz?

Ok, I was hoping for a little tell-all scoop on what it’s like to be the ultimate Material Girl’s daughter, too. But mostly, what we have here is a little marketing for a Material Girl clothing line–and maybe the tiniest glimpse of Madonna the Mommy. Or is fourteen just the age when everyone starts letting their daughters dye their hair? Continue reading »

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