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Strollerderby
Are you up for another pregnancy?
Last month, my husband, kids and I attended my mother-in-law’s 75th birthday party. We sat next to his brother’s baby and preschooler. As parents who are well finished with the diaper stage in parenting, we were enthralled with the kids. My husband began to reminiscence about when our kids were babies and for a minute (and I mean a teeny, tiny few seconds) I considered what life would be like to have another.
It’s such a tempting fantasy to imagine the little baby feet, the delightful powdery smell that you can endlessly inhale, and the sweet chuckle that comes from a first laugh. It’s also so incredibly easy to get caught up in the sweetness of a new baby, but before deciding on another child, there are some concrete and practical things to consider…
Prepare to smash your middle-child stereotypes
It’s a common belief that birth order colors a child’s personality for life, with the oldest, the middle, and the babies each bestowed certain stereotypical traits. Being in the middle is commonly thought of as the most unfortunate placement, with the term “Middle Child Syndrome” even being coined to describe their perceived qualities of being envious and feeling neglected.
Well, not so says a new book entitled “The Secret Power of Middle Children,” by co-authors Catherine Salmon and Kartrin Schumann. They say their research has found that middle children are NOT the sullen milquetoast that they are often portrayed as, but actually “agents of change” and more successful in business, politics, and science than their firstborn and lastborn peers. In fact, more middleborns have been president of the USA than any other placement.
Typical, typical, typical
I’ve always been reluctant to accept the idea that birth order matters much. Who can blame me? I’m the little sister.
We youngest are always described as ne’er-do-well artistic types who are more inclined to sign up to bring brownies than run the whole bake sale. We youngest, so the birth order dogma goes, fall into jobs — jobs like blogging — rather than walking the straight-and-narrow toward math-heavy, analytical careers like engineering. I mean, technically, that describes me and my sib faaaaaairly accurately but see what I mean? I come out the adorable loser!
The only person worse off than a family’s youngest is that forgotten, lost, emotionally volatile middle-child. Now THERE’S a birth order ranking that’s got nothing good to offer. Continue reading »
Does this kid have too many sisters?
Data gathered by the University of Texas suggests that the number and gender of one’s siblings could play a role in that person’s sexuality. According to the study, a male with a lot of sisters is less likely to attract females. Which might just leave such young men exclaiming “Rats!”
Exactly. You see, the study which yielded this data was done on… rats. David Crews, a psychobiologist at UT, says that when female rats are interested in mating with males, “they wiggle their ears,” which he says, “drives males nuts.” And the poor little boy rats with a bunch of sisters? Apparently they don’t receive such ear-wiggling foreplay as often as their peers.
So what does this mean for humans? Continue reading »
Researcher Deborah Tannen gave an explanation yesterday in The New York Times for the recent studies that say having sisters makes us happier.
The usual explanation is that women talk about feelings more, which should make their siblings feel happier and more supported.
But she points to her own studies that show feeling-talk doesn’t matter, it’s just the act of talking that counts. Girls may be more likely to talk frequently, and simply being in contact with someone (even just keeping them company when you’re not explicitly talking about their emotions or how they’re doing) is good for people’s health and happiness.
Thalia A-M Bruehl wrote a really lovely piece about family size for Babble yesterday that touches on how sisters bring happiness to the family. Bruehl was 13-years-old when her family adopted a 19-year-old girl, so she has the unique perspective of knowing what it’s like to be an only child, and then to have a sister come into her life.
Having been on both sides of the only child versus siblings debate, how many kids does she say she wants for her own family in the future? Continue reading »
Sibling rivalry
Sibling rivalry. Everyone who has more than one kid in their home knows that the joys of growing up with another child are counterbalanced by the challenges of having to share your stuff, your space and your parents.
Kids fight. My kids have fought over who stole whose boogers, who gets to have the first shot at the doctor’s office, and who has to ride in the wayback of our van. Once, they even fought in their sleep.
Sibling rivalry is so common that when our editor passed along a link to BreezyMama’s great post on how to stop sibling fights, there was a little rivalry on our blog staff about who got to do this story (thanks, Madeline, I owe you!).
In a family with multiple children, the younger kids are often driven by a desire to catch up to the older ones. Not being the first to do anything can light a fire of competitiveness in a kid who feels like she’s always one step behind. And this competitiveness, say researchers, is the reason that younger siblings work harder in school and ultimately earn better grades. Continue reading »
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