babble » blogs » Strollerderby
Strollerderby
Have you ever seen the movie Quiz Show? Great movie, excellent movie. If you haven’t seen it, it goes like this: back in the 50′s quiz shows programs were crazy popular. You know, because there was only one channel then and no American Idol. Also, people back then believed the things they saw on TV were real.
Anywho, turns out the most popular show, Twenty One, was feeding their contestants the answers so they could control who won and therefore pick the players with the most audience appeal. People found out and IT ROCKED THE NATION. I know, hard to imagine that kind of outrage now over a TV show. ”What do you mean the latest Bachelor and his chosen mate are broken up? They said they were in love!”
We’ve all been there, drunk and passed out on the fast food restaurant playland, the kids joyfully amusing themselves. It’s the picture of a perfect afternoon until the dumb cops arrive. So presented with such an intrusion, naturally you turn your children into weapons.
And who wouldn’t? We’ve all dreamed of controlling our own vicious legion of toddlers, eager to do our evil bidding. I mean, that’s why we had kids in the first place. But quickly after they’re born we learned our babies are more interested in gnawing on the corner of a Dora blanket than being our henchman.
But one drunk father in Colorado Springs never gave up.
Joshua Alger, 28, is the aforementioned man. When McDonald’s employees called the police on the prostrate Alger the cops realized he already had a warrant out.
So Alger released his hounds kids. Alger freaked, commanding his kids to “bite the officers’ faces off.” They didn’t.
And what is the punishment for sicking your kids on the cops? You get tased, bro. No, the cops did not tase the kids too.
One wonders if this was a scenario he’d already prepared for, training his kids to attack on command. On a serious note, let’s hope these kids have more sober relatives willing to take them.
Source: Denver Westword
Babble Links:
The Secret Lives of 4 Famous Children’s Authors
Little Girl Born with 8 Limbs Starts School
Mother Commits Suicide after Blog Comments, Son’s Choking Game Death
File this under, “the punishment doesn’t fit the crime.” Strike that; file this under, “You clearly should not be a parent unless your job is to raise a serial killer.”
38-year-old mom Lynn Middlebrooks Geter was arrested after she forced her 12-year-old son to kill his pet hamster with a hammer as a punishment for earning a bad grade.
Ahhh yes, the news drought of the holidays is in full swing, begetting stories like this one from the unfortunately-named “The Mommy Files” blog: The Top Parenting Trends of 2009.
Okay, despite my snark, I think this is really more or less on the money. What’s writer Amy Graff’s take on what we were talking about this year?
One was recent — a New York Times magazine article from last week that talks about being married, happily, with issues. The very long article tracks a writer’s journey through various forms of marital therapy, and was actually very interesting in that many of the appraoches seemed to dredge up more problems than they actually solved. Continue reading »
It would have been bad enough if a mom switched out her kid’s urine for her own in a drug test. But to make it believable, a Michigan mom first dosed her kid with methadone to make it seem like the pee of a recovering drug addict.
Needless to say, she’s going to have no choice about kicking the habit – Randi Marie Carr is headed to prison. Continue reading »
Last Tuesday, Babble celebrated the release of our first book Dirt Is Good For You: True Stories of Surviving Parenthood, and the unveiling of our new Facebook application, Connected By Kids. The party, which was held at Elizabeth Restaurant, was a great celebration and congregation–writers, readers, new faces, old faces and Team Babble all gathered to toast what has undoubtedly been a great year for our site. (Thanks to you guys!)
Here are some photos and a video from the event. Enjoy!
Most of us believe parenting is an intuitive thing. So why is it the most well-meaning efforts of parents are royally warping kids everywhere? Right now, you are psychologically destroying your child by teaching them value of individuality.
At least, that’s the position of Cracked writer Cezary Jan Strusiewicz. And before you dismiss Ceazry’s work as some comedian’s hack job, notice he backed every assertion with actuall scientific research. So sit back and discover why praising your kids, teaching them to be themselves and warning them about strangers is only preparing your kids for a life as an anti-social super villain.
Starting their Education Early
Lori Garcia 
Joslyn Gray 
Amber Doty 
Julianna Miner 
Monica Bielanko 
Sierra Black 
Meredith Carroll 
Carolyn Castiglia 
Sunny Chanel 
Madeline Holler 
Rebecca Odes 
Danielle Smith 
Danielle Sullivan 
Katherine Stone 
The Walt Disney Company supports Babble as a platform dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent and open conversation about parenting. However, the opinions expressed on this site are those of individual parents/writers and do not reflect the views of Disney. In addition, content provided on this site is for entertainment or informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or safety advice.
2