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Strollerderby
We worry. We worry about the bills we have to pay. About whether our kids are talking soon enough. About who will be elected president and whether or not we should order dessert.
For some of us, the day-to-day worries that crowd our minds take on the character of monsters, seizing control and paralyzing us against other action. Nearly 20 percent of Americans suffers from an anxiety disorder. Xanax is the leading psychiatric medication in the country, with over 46 million prescriptions written each year.
Are we an anxious generation? Or simply a better medicated one? The New York Times explored this question recently in an interesting essay about the history of anxiety.
The September 11 Flag of Honor, with the names of those killed on that tragic day.
The anniversary of 9/11 always makes me anxious. It isn’t because I was in New York on that day, though. I was in the maternity ward.
I had just had my first child, my fabulous boy Jackson, a couple of days before, and I was in the hospital nursery checking to see if we could go home that day when my husband walked in and told me America was being attacked.
I wrote about that awful day — one mixed with the joy of bringing my baby home and the deep despair over those who had lost their lives in the 9/11 attack — on my blog:
I remember begging the nurses in the nursery to get hold of the pediatrician who would decide if my son could be released and get whatever approval we needed so we could get out of there. Threatening them that I was leaving and taking my baby with me, with or without their permission. I remember going back to my room to throw my things in a bag and seeing the second tower collapse on TV, while my husband was relaying that the first tower had already gone down. I remember bundling Jack up in his Piedmont Hospital onesie and a random blanket,with no time to dress him in the adorable “going home” outfit I’d so carefully picked out for him from Baby Gap as I had planned. The shirt from that outfit, never worn, featured, ironically, a little blue shirt with two airplanes doing loop-de-loops.
Mother’s Day is ideally a time for the whole world to bow at our maternal feet and finally acknowledge the myriad ways in which we improve their lives immeasurably. But the reality of mothers’ day does not always live up to ones hopes. Those lovely cards and hugs are followed by the same tantrums and power struggles and crankiness that make up our inherently imperfect lives with children.
Motherhood is awesome, but it’s tough work. I love, love, love being a mother, but when my kids were babies it was a lot harder for me to say that wholeheartedly. I had a tough transition. I was anxious and stressed, and yes,depressed.I was generally just having a lot less fun than I expected.My experience made me want to reinforce to moms that motherhood can be a mixed bag, and that acknowledging the bad parts doesn’t mean you’re not grateful for all the gifts that come along with it.
Which is why I was so happy to have this incredible opportunity to tell my story.
You’ve probably heard the stereotypes: women are hysterical Nervous Nellies, and men are cool under pressure. This obviously isn’t always the case, but it does reflect how a lot of people think. Mothers, especially, get a rap for being anxious wrecks, worrying over their kids’ every move, while Dads are often accused of being clueless, lax or reckless.
In a new article, Taylor Clark, author of the new book Nerve: Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress, and the Brave New Science of Fear and Cool takes this idea to task. Are women really more emotional, or do we just think of them that way? And if there is an “Anxiety Gender Gap”, are we, as parents, responsible?
Does this baby need professional help?
New parents tend to worry about a lot of things. Is my baby sleeping enough? Is he getting enough to eat? Is her poop supposed to be that color? And now, thanks to a new study, parents have one more thing to add to their list of concerns: Is my baby’s fussiness a sign of a future mental health problem?
Seriously. Researcher Beth Troutman, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Iowa, says a recent study revealed that three to four-week old infants who are overly fussy are more likely to develop mental health problems during childhood. These problems include anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and behavior problems. Continue reading »
Intense punishment has a lasting effect.
Researchers from the University of Montreal “are studying how harsh parenting can impact the emotional development of a child.” Scientists believe that “harsh parenting methods may lead to anxiety disorders such as social phobia, separation anxiety and panic attacks.” As someone who has dealt with both anxiety and harsh parenting, this connection seems pretty logical to me. It stands to reason that if a child doesn’t feel safe at home, they’re likely to feel threatened by and/or fearful of the world at large.
Françoise Maheu, lead investigator of the study, notes that several studies have already proven that “coercive parenting practices are linked to anxiety,” but she hopes to detail specifically how the anatomy or physiology of the brain is affected by aggressive parenting, in an effort to curb anxiety in children before it becomes acute. Continue reading »
It seems like common sense, really, but what I’ve been hoping all along as a parent has finally been proven true by scientific research. “Babies who receive above-average levels of affection and attention from their mothers are less likely than other babies to grow up to be emotionally distressed, anxious, or hostile adults,” according to Health.com.
Dr. Joanna Maselko of Duke University and her team traced the behavioral patterns of nearly 500 men and women from infancy to adulthood (above age 30) and discovered that even a single day’s observation proved mothers who snuggle with and dote on their babies are ensuring the “future psychological health of that infant.”
Maselko and her colleagues believe that the release of oxytocin, a.k.a. “the cuddle hormone,” is what inhibits the production of anxiety by strengthening the area of the brain that promotes happiness. “Oxytocin adds [to] the perception of trust and support, and hence is very helpful in building social bonds,” Maselko explains. “It’s plausible that close parent-child bonds help support the neural development of the areas of the brain that make and use oxytocin, setting up the child for more effective social interactions and mental health in the future.”
Giving birth vaginally and breastfeeding both activate the release of oxytocin. But even if you gave birth via c-section and switched quickly to formula (*raises hand*), there’s still hope. Any form of “extravagant” or “caressing” affection on the part of mothers led to reduced anxiety in their children as adults.
This is especially important to me, as I come from a long line of anxiety-riddled women. Continue reading »
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