Posted by cole gamble on November 20th, 2009 at 10:00 am

7 Things “Good Parents” Do (That Screw Kids Up for Life)

 7 Things Good Parents Do (That Screw Kids Up for Life)Most of us believe parenting is an intuitive thing. So why is it the most well-meaning efforts of parents are royally warping kids everywhere? Right now, you are psychologically destroying your child by teaching them value of individuality.

At least, that’s the position of Cracked writer Cezary Jan Strusiewicz. And before you dismiss Ceazry’s work as some comedian’s hack job, notice he backed every assertion with actuall scientific research. So sit back and discover why praising your kids, teaching them to be themselves and warning them about strangers is only preparing your kids for a life as an anti-social super villain.

Starting their Education Early

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Posted by cole gamble on November 18th, 2009 at 10:00 am

Day Care Sells Cocaine

image of cocaine Day Care Sells CocaineFinding a good day care is so hard these days, you have to accept compromises. Maybe your kid’s day care is a little pricey, doesn’t stay open as late as you’d like, or maybe the day care sells cocaine.

An Arkansas couple was arrested for selling cocaine out of the same house where they operate a day care. Husband Timothy Boston got caught in a sting operation by police. Catching a whiff of the jig being up, Boston fled to Texas where he was arrested. His wife, Denise, was arrested at the couple’s home/child care center the same day.

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Posted by cole gamble on November 12th, 2009 at 9:30 am

Who’s Smarter: Kids or Dogs?

Kid+&+Dog+%235 Who’s Smarter: Kids or Dogs?Recently a commenter asserted that raising a child is identical to raising a dog. “Both can be encouraged to good behavior through rewards and discouraged from bad behavior through punishment.”  “Both demand enthusiastic praise and consistant (sic) (non-angry) discipline.” “Just like a dog, you must put a plastic cone on a child’s head to keep them from chewing on their butt.” Okay, I made that last one up. Or did I?

Many took umbrage with the commenter’s remarks, but I (always the scientist) decided to put them to the test. Over a weekend I pitted my three-year-old against our 1 ½ year old border collie to once and for all resolve the question: who is smarter, a toddler or a dog? Here are the competitors.

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Posted by cole gamble on November 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am

2-Year-Old Can’t Cry, It Would Kill Her

t 2 Year Old Can’t Cry, It Would Kill HerKids cry all the time. I think my son cried this weekend when I screwed up and didn’t call him by his recently chosen name “Grand Master Batman Flash” (I think I called him “Grand Master Batman Fletch“). There might be no mode that comes more naturally to children than crying.

But for Two-year-old Tianna McHugh crying is not an option. When Tianna cries her body seizes and stiffens, her skin turns white, her heart stops beating and she stops breathing.

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Posted by cole gamble on November 6th, 2009 at 1:00 pm

How to Defend Against a Baby with A Knife

baby knife How to Defend Against a Baby with A KnifeSo important you watch this, guys.

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Posted by cole gamble on November 2nd, 2009 at 3:51 pm

11-Year-Old Girl Gives Birth on Her Wedding Day

mum11a 516x372 63639a display 11 Year Old Girl Gives Birth on Her Wedding DayUpon holding up her newborn child for cameras, 11-year-old Kordeza Zhelyazkova said, “I’m not going to play with toys any more - I have a new toy now.”

Yikes.

Kordeza went into labor during the wedding ceremony to her teenage boyfriend Jeliazko Dimitrov. She still was still wearing the white dress and tiara when she gave birth to her daughter, Violeta.

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Posted by cole gamble on October 30th, 2009 at 9:00 am

7 Most Bizarre Halloween Handouts

Any Trick -or- Treater knows the drill. You walk up to the discouragingly dark house and knock on the door. After a painfully long pause the door opens revealing either an old woman who didn’t realize it’s Halloween or the middle aged couple who turned out every light in the hopes no one would knock. But now you’ve got them cornered, you little ghoul, with your goodie bag outstretched.  You’ve forced confused grandma or the antisocial neighbors to improvise. And this is what happens:

Bad Goodie #1 condiments

soy sauce 8 gram portion control packet pc 500 cs 7 Most Bizarre Halloween Handouts

What kid doesn’t want a fistful of soy sauce packets from take out for Halloween? Let’s hope the next house has fried dumplings.

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Posted by cole gamble on October 29th, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Do You Know all the Words to “This is Halloween…”

spacer Do You Know all the Words to This is Halloween...NightmareBeforeChristmas3 Do You Know all the Words to This is Halloween...Please help me celebrate the bestest Halloween movie ever!

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Posted by cole gamble on October 29th, 2009 at 9:00 am

How to Date a Disney Princess

disney princes 150x150 How to Date a Disney PrincessWe already got the skinny on how to be a Disney Princess (”skinny”, incidentally high on the list) now it’s the princes’ turn.

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Posted by cole gamble on October 20th, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Cheap Ass Halloween Costumes to Make Your Children Sad

cheerio baby costume Cheap Ass Halloween Costumes to Make Your Children SadSome parents really go all out to make Halloween a special occasion for their children. And some parents wake up from a drunken stupor on October 31st, roll of the couch and exclaim, “It’s Hallow what?! Fine, kid, put this paper bag on your head. Now you’re the ghost of a tree. Happy, skedaddle!”

Some parents will spare no expense to make Halloween as depressing as possible. These are those parents’ kids.

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