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The 5 Minute Car Nap. NOOOOO!!!!!
DON'T FALL ASLEEP!!! Photo Credit: Anita Patterson
Most parents know all about the little mentioned but much feared adversary of the modern family: the dreaded 5 Minute Car Nap. It is an insidious creature that tricks small children into thinking they’ve napped, when they really haven’t.
The first key feature of the 5 Minute Car Nap is the failed transfer. Your child may have fallen asleep in the car two blocks from your house and be snoring in bliss, but you will not be able to get that child out of the car and into the house without them waking up.
You may have a minute where you see that precious face asleep in your rear view mirror and think: “This is great! I will just carry my child into the house and enjoy an hour of peace and quiet where I will have the opportunity to pee with the door closed, fold laundry while watching Bravo or perhaps play some Words With Friends.” Then you silently unbuckle the car seat and are met with the ear piercing whines and boneless flopping about that presage a very long afternoon indeed.
The second key feature? Your child will be both ill-tempered for the rest of the day and will refuse to go back to sleep on the grounds that they have already had a nap. Because the 5 Minute Car Nap is a damn dirty liar.
The third feature is of course the relationship between how much you need your child to sleep and how likely it is they will succumb to the nefarious powers of the 5 Minute Car Nap. Do you have a work deadline and just need one hour to finish? Or are you at your wit’s end and need a break so you don’t lose your schmidt? Have you failed to shower for the past two days and were counting on naptime to de-funk yourself? Is Downton Abbey on tonight and you really, really want your kids to be asleep by 9?
TFB. It’s not going to happen now.
So it’s no wonder at all why this mommy was willing to do anything to keep her little boy from falling in the car two streets from home. Is she crazy? Crazy like a fox. You have to do whatever it takes to beat the 5 Minute Car Nap.
Read more from Julie at her blog Rants from MommyLand. Follow Julie on Facebook and Twitter for additional goofy nonsense at no extra charge. You can catch up on her posts for Strollerderby, too – where she is often slightly less stupid.
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38 Comments
the original Sarah commented on Jan 24 12 at 6:52 pmMy daughter used to be the worst with this! Thank goodness my son transfers well.
Zoë commented on Jan 25 12 at 10:57 amHa ha! So true!!
jlou commented on Jan 25 12 at 1:22 pmCan’t get past the fact that the carseat is being used incorrectly. And the canned photo for the story shows an outdated seat.
Alison commented on Jan 25 12 at 2:11 pmI hate the 5 minute car nap! I am still recovering from one two Saturdays ago. Oh the screaming. Ack.
I am me commented on Jan 25 12 at 2:33 pmI HATE those naps… it was great when my LO was a tiny infant and I could keep her in the car seat (in the house) to nap for a bit… Now, not so much.
Katy commented on Jan 25 12 at 5:41 pmMy three year old talks NON-STOP and I wish I was joking there. Add that to a crabby baby and one day I was about to lose my schmidt. Then something wonderful happened. On the way home from an errand they both fell asleep. And you better believe I drove that damn car around for an hour, until the baby woke up, just for some peace and quiet.
Hollie commented on Jan 25 12 at 10:09 pmI totally watched this hoping for a magical tip on evading the 5MCN. If there were a product that delivered a miiiiild electrical shock when I saw my kid’s head starting to bob… I’m not saying I would definitely use it. But I would probably use it.
Tamar commented on Jan 26 12 at 6:54 amJust a note to Hollie here, who wanted a magical tip: it doesn’t work every time, but if your kids are old enough, I use small candies that take a while to get through: dum-dums for my 3-yo, and twizzlers for my 18-month-old. There’s usually a few in my glove box for when the singing, shouting crazy things, refusing to hand out binkys and such won’t work. Generally, in my house, candy is reserved for extra-special events, so you better believe they stay awake long enough to finish! And if it’s a short enough drive that the 5MCN is a danger, it usually does the trick.
And isn’t it just the way of things that when you have an afternoon out and you want — no, NEED — them to nap in the car on the way there…………they jabber for the entire TWO HOURS and arrive at the destination all whiny and exhausted? It’s like they KNOW.
Shelley commented on Jan 26 12 at 7:07 amHilarious! When my daughter was an baby, I could transfer her successfully to the house if she’d been sleeping for 15 minutes or less – anything more than that and she would wake up. After shopping “in the city”, it took 40 minutes to get home. I did an awful lot of crazy stuff also, trying to keep her awake until we were 15 minutes from home – lol.
Erin commented on Jan 26 12 at 7:48 amI’ve done this too! However, my son is buckled into his seatbelt correctly.
Laura commented on Jan 26 12 at 8:58 amMy youngest absolutely REFUSES to take a nap in the house anymore….Ive taken to driving around after we drop the big sister off at kindergarten until she falls asleep, then driving home and parking in the driveway. In the nicer weather I would get out and let her nap while I picked in the garden, and Ive been known to bring my laptop into the car, or read, or nap myself.
Keri commented on Jan 26 12 at 9:05 amLOL … You guys crack me up. You’ve never had your kid’s strap fall off his shoulder? Must be nice being perfect. Have a great day! ~ Matthew’s Mom
Jessica K. commented on Jan 26 12 at 9:17 amI had to admit, I cant get passed the straps on that carseat either. TIGHTEN THEM PLEASE!!!
Dee commented on Jan 26 12 at 9:32 amI just did the same thing on Sunday, but my daughter was screaming mad instead of laughing.
Lindsay K commented on Jan 26 12 at 9:34 amDear LORD, I hope she does not get into a car accident as a result of filming her child while driving. That child is barely buckled into that seat! In an accident he would splatter his slurpee all over the car while being ejected from his carseat. Why do people even bother with carseats at all if you aren’t going to buckle the child in correctly. The carseat doesn’t work correctly if it isn’t used correctly. It’s not a magical device. This mother should more concerned with her child’s SAFETY than her precious naptime.
Susan commented on Jan 26 12 at 9:34 amI have also done this but like others, I am appalled at how this child is buckled into his seat.
Linda commented on Jan 26 12 at 9:43 amLove it, but, yes, the improper use of the carseat makes me nervous. One can only hope that mommy isn’t shooting this video WHILE driving and with her kid improperly secured. If so, I hate to be judgey, but that’s an epic FAIL.
Jessica commented on Jan 26 12 at 9:47 amChock full of Judgey McJudgerson’s, aren’t we?
I just love the evil giggle coming out of this gorgeous boy!!
Erin commented on Jan 26 12 at 10:12 amI am so thankful that I am not the only one that noticed this poor guy’s car seat!! Not only are the straps entirely too loose, but they are also in the wrong position. Move those buggers up to the next level and tighten his non-napping lil self in a smidge tighter, please :o)
Other than that, this is pretty stinkin’ adorable… and we’ve ALL been there ;o)
carseatsafety commented on Jan 26 12 at 10:38 amPLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read up on car seat safety. I was literally cringing the entire time I watched the video – Tighten the straps – chest clip should be on his CHEST not his crotch. Keep your little man safe, he is precious cargo!
Katie commented on Jan 26 12 at 11:41 amThat made me laugh because I’ve totally done the same thing so many times! You do whatever you can to avoid those evil car naps!
And I knew there were going to be a lot of mommies commenting on the car seat. Can’t pass up an opportunity to look self righteous!
Hillary commented on Jan 26 12 at 11:47 amVery cute video, but I also could not get past the car seat. It is completely useless with one strap falling off and the straps look like they need to be adjusted up to fit correctly. I worked with a study on car seat safety and have seen what happens when they are not used or not used correctly. It will save your sons life to use it correctly. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
Katie commented on Jan 26 12 at 12:09 pmI also can’t get past the improperly used car seat. If that child is forward facing (which I think he is), the straps need to be raised above his shoulders, and the straps are way too loose! Which means the chest clip is too low. It makes me really sad, there is very very little protection in case of an accident.
Meghan commented on Jan 26 12 at 1:13 pmFunny video, but not funny with the car seat straps being all jacked up distracted me
Nikki commented on Jan 26 12 at 1:26 pmI’m sorry OCD kicking in but that seatbelt is making me nervous. I have properly installed several relatives and friends car seats because they too were not using them properly. Please tell me someone knows this lady and has shown her how to properly install a car seat!!
Kim commented on Jan 26 12 at 2:06 pmOMG, I hate to be “that mom,” but really, that carseat belt job is so horribly distracting I can’t even pay attention to the video that I’m sure is totally funny. I’m afraid the damage that child would suffer from that seatbelt in an auto accident might be nearly as bad as if he wasn’t wearing one at all.
Talon commented on Jan 26 12 at 5:42 pmOMG will all you carseat nazi’s KNOCK IT OFF???!!! Look…I’m one of you, but guess what. Not even I got the straps right EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Darn those toddlers and their opposable thumbs!! It doesn’t take precise fine motor control to shove the buckle down. Also anyone can tell that the camera is attached to something; it isn’t like she’s holding it.
Let. The. Strap. GO. For the love of Maude, LET IT GO. The kid is fine, the mother is a GREAT MOM and guess what. Car seat straps droop now and again. Car seats even when installed and properly used are NOT. PERFECT. Get over yourselves and be glad you didn’t have my niece who figured out before she was 3 how to unfasten the seat belt, and the car seat harness. We’d wrap the darn things in duct tape after fastening, and within two weeks, she’s figured out how to get the tape off.
Seriously. Stop the sanctimommy crap. None of you are perfect, so stop acting line darned fools and start acting like adults.
Jenni commented on Jan 26 12 at 9:43 pmI was just getting ready to comment on the car seat strap issue, when I see that a few have already beat me to it. Good call mamas on spotting that right off.
blu_canary commented on Jan 26 12 at 10:33 pmI’m seriously surprised the Backseat Mothering League hasn’t gotten worse about the seat belt thing. Yeah, I noticed it, too. But it’s easy to notice it when it’s not your kid you are wrestling in and out of the seat every day. I remember looking at the straps on my daughter’s car seat one day going, “Huh, when did she get so much taller?” I adjusted the straps and got on with my life.
The video is hilarious and I remember doing VERY similar things. It never failed that on the five hour trip between our house and my folks’, my daughter would fall asleep two blocks from our destination and wake up from her “long nap” when the car stopped.
Erika commented on Jan 27 12 at 10:50 amHaven’t we all done this! The child’s seat belt is not on correctly for one thing. However, trying to keep them awake is so true, better to try and keep them awake and then get them into nap time when you get home. My kids did the “Car nap” too but I would sit in the driveway, with them, read a book and get some me time in before I would try and get them into the house. My grandson is actually the only child I know where he can fall asleep, you can unstrap him, get him into the house, undress his snowsuit etc. brush his teeth, get his PJ’s on and get him into bed and he does not wake up. Only child I have ever seen do this!
carseatsafety commented on Jan 27 12 at 11:19 amOk – I get that toddlers mess with the car seat every once in awhile – but its clear that she is looking back to see that he is awake, at that point she would have noticed the chest strap. If she were worried about it she would have fixed it. The problem is -she clearly isnt worried about it and THAT is what worries me. No, Im not part of the Backseat Mothering Club but I am President of the COMMONSENSE MOTHERING CLUB.
Pamela commented on Jan 27 12 at 6:55 pmI hate the five minute car nap, but I dislike parents that don’t use carseats correctly even more. And taking a video while driving? Good grief!
Jodie commented on Jan 27 12 at 9:36 pm“Haven’t we all done this! The child’s seat belt is not on correctly for one thing.”
NO!! The most important life in my car is my childs. If the belt is not correct the car does not move. If some happens when driving I stop and fix it! IMMEDIATLY! No one is being a Nazi ( may want to look into what a nazi actually is) or a perfect mother ,but when it comes to the safety of a child in the car you sure better try to be perfect.
“But it’s easy to notice it when it’s not your kid you are wrestling in and out of the seat every day” You NEED to notice evertime you put that kid in the seat and start to drive. Just like you have to check you mirrors, monitor you speed, and look at the road EVERY TIME YOU DRIVE. Being a mom is hard but its hard for a reason. You are in charge of a life and you better take that pretty seriously. Now with all this back lash with the seatbelt the mom and dad will make sure hes buckled in safely everytime because its been brought to the fore front of their mind. Maybe she/he just didnt know but now they do and has no excuse not to fix it.
Disappointed commented on Jan 27 12 at 9:43 pmI’m a little disappointed that you would promote this video which essentially encourages people to film their kids while driving them around in an outdated car seat with poorly adjusted seatbelts. I know, we’ve all been there, but this encourages unsafe behavior because who wouldn’t want their video to be on here!?!?
Peggy Miller commented on Jan 29 12 at 1:50 pmI don’t care about the car seat straps. One time, between getting my baby boy and my infirm handicap *mother* into the car, we got halfway home from the grocery story and my dearly beloved daughter shrieked, “Mommy, you forgot to strap me in.” I am just weepy with gratitude that I’m not the only one who’s had to deal with the evil five minute car nap. I thought that my daughter was the only one who did that and it made me seriously want to pull my hair out more than once. Thanks for this post!
EBAAA commented on Feb 01 12 at 6:09 pmUgh… I can’t even watch that video. Not only is the kids carseat so terribly used, but mom isn’t even paying attention to driving. Hitting the curb would throw him out of his seat.
And the first picture shows a very outdated seat too.The picture and video alone totally discounts this article, which could be pretty cute and funny.
Laura commented on Feb 03 12 at 3:47 pmThe 5-MInute Car Nap has a cousin… the 15-Minute Nursing Nap.
Also a dirty rotten liar.
Vanessa commented on Feb 07 12 at 4:20 pmOk, this is so funny and so true! THanks for the laugh!
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