Cover your eyes, kids. This kitty is not for kiddies.

There are a lot of things by which I am offended. That turkey sticks in a jar exist as baby food. The mention of Newt Gingrich in any sentence that contains the words, “President of the United States.” Any discussion of Jessica Alba’s post-baby body.

However, a cougar as a high school’s mascot is not among the things that repel me. And that’s coming from a, um, 30-something-year-old woman who, if I weren’t married, might very well be on the prowl for men who dared to be born after me.

Why? Because it’s a high school mascot. Not everything is sexual. Not everything needs to be politically correct (that is, if animals can be politically correct or not). Once upon a time, cougars were actually animals, you know, before Demi Moore and Madonna took over the definition. Animals have been known to be mascots without double meanings. Lots of everyday words have sexual innuendos, but you have to be thinking sexually to make that leap most of the time.

Still, a school in Utah doesn’t see it that way, according to Fox News. The Canyons School District is rejecting the calls of their students to make the cougar the new mascot at Corner Canyon High School when it opens in 2013, fearing the word “cougar” is “offensive and derogatory towards women.”

“We heard from folks who were worried about the connotation of the word ‘cougar’ as it pertains to the current vernacular — in a derogatory manner,” Jennifer Toomer-Cook, a spokesperson for the school district told Fox News & Commentary.

But how does that apply to high schoolers? Is there some epidemic there in which 10th-grade hussies are preying on nubile lads in sixth grade or something? Why stop at banning the cougar as a mascot? Do they also disallow students from wearing Puma sneakers? A boy with his foot in a Puma sneaker? The innuendos there could be endless.

What about the fact that the cougar is already the mascot for Brigham Young University, as well as a few other Utah schools? I mean, if they rejected the cougar because it’s unoriginal, that would be one thing. But because it refers to a sexually aggressive older woman? I mean, this is Utah we’re talking about, right?

Regardless, school officials have settled on the “Chargers” as their new mascot instead.

I assume that means that school officials haven’t seen the seventh meaning of the word, as defined by Urban Dictionary.

Would you be offended if your kid’s school mascot was a cougar?

Image: Wikipedia

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