Photo Credit: David Castillo Dominici

Last week Babble asked their readers on Facebook what they wish they’d known about men before they got married. I wrote a very silly post about the 7 things I wish I’d known and was surprised at how little overlap there was between the two lists.  A lot of things that readers mentioned painted a pretty sad picture of life after marriage. This led to several additional comments asking what husbands would say about us if given a similar opportunity to vent.

Let’s all just hope that doesn’t happen. Because speaking personally, I provide my husband with daily ammunition for venting. But hopefully, we’re all driving each other crazy and making each other happy in equal measure. I’m not entirely sure what the following list says about that. But why not read the top ten things readers wish they’d known about men before they got married, and decide for yourself.

1. They totally change after the wedding.
2. Oh dear LORD, the bathroom. What the hell goes on in there?
3. They’re really, really emotional.
4. Your definition of clean and my definition of clean? Not the same thing.
5. They’re actually little kids on the inside, not grown-ups.
6. I never, ever get to choose what we watch on TV, and it is driving me insane.
7. They come home from the store with the craziest things I have ever seen in my life.
8. You’re being a little selfish. Could you please be  less focused on you and a little more focused on us?
9. Stop tuning me out. Stop tuning me out. I am going to smash your iPhone. Stop tuning me out.
10. I love you, honey. I married you. So why do you need so much freaking reassurance?

All of the comments we got are completely valid. But in the interest of being honest, go back and read the list again. Couldn’t this have been just as easily written by husbands about wives? I think perhaps this has been an edifying exercise for me.  It’s not a contest to see who’s generally more assholic — men or women.  If it were a contest, everyone would lose.

I think maybe it’s validation for those of us who got married and sometimes wonder, “Is it supposed to be this hard?” There’s really only one answer to that question, and it’s not “That’s what she said.” Of course it’s hard, but it’s worth it.

Resentment: How an equal divide of labor almost destroyed my marriage

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