I think that as long as people are trying to raise their children to be decent, responsible people, and they aren’t spending more than they can afford to pay for, how much they spend on Christmas presents is nobody’s business.

I feel very envious when I see how much money some friends have available to spend, and that brings out the “I’m sure that kid is going to grow up spoilt” grumbles in my head, but part of being an adult is learning that most of our judgements of others come from somewhere within. It isn’t stuff that spoils a child, but attitude.

We have bought Barnaby one gift each for his first Christmas. He has eight grandparents (yay divorce!) and four great-grandparents, so he has been extremely lucky gift-wise.

We’re in the top 2% of income earners and we still spend less than $50 per kid. The grandparents stick to this as well. Too much stuff is obscene IMO. Plus I find that kids are very happy with basic toys — they don’t need expensive/fancy stuff to spur their imaginations. Of course, my kids can still get obnoxious (like most kids) about all the presents they want and how they NEED to have this or that toy, but we are not shy about saying no and we really try to impart the right values to them. I take them to volunteer at a local food pantry every Saturday of the year (not just during the holiday season), so hopefully by the time they grow up that message will stick better than the consumerist onslaught.

I have a question- I am currently pregnant, my husband and I have been together for 5 years. During these 5 childless years we have gotten holiday gifts for his whole family and my whole family. We give something to everyone we see at the 3 family holiday parties that we attend and we also send out gifts to two distant nieces. Now that we are about to be parents how can we scale back on our gift getting for everyone else? Do we switch to just buying for the kids (which are only on his side, so we wouldn’t be getting anything for my entire family) or just maybe make cookies or find smaller things to give, but still give to everyone?

Taz – our family buys for all the kids but we pick names for the adults. That way we dont buy for everyone (except our parents), and we set a limit of 30$. For the kids everyone just buys what they can afford (I have 8 nieces and nephews . . . it gets expensive). Another idea is for a few years when I was in college, instead of buying the kids presents I planned an outing with all of them like sledding or bowling. I spent less on each child this way and we got to spend time together which to me is more important than any gift I give them. I wish I could still do that this year but my husband and I moved out of state so I was stuck just buying generic gifts for the kids :(