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Strollerderby
The Worst Things That Have Been Said to Parents: A Reader Round-up
If you have nothing nice to say....keep your mouth shut!
If you’re a parent, you’ve more than likely have been given some unsolicited advice every now and then. Sometimes it’s kind, generous even, but many times, it’s shocking and rude.
When my friend Karen had a two-week-old infant, she went to the store desperate for diapers. It was not far, and she had her newborn nestled in a carrier when one woman on her block saw her and admonished her for taking such a young infant outside. It was May and 75 degrees, the sun was shining and the baby was comfy and safe. According to the old woman, the baby was in danger of being in the general public while his immune system was so brand new.
Between her fear of doing anything to hurt her baby and her hormones that had been recently unleashed, Karen went home and cried, partly because such a nasty remark caught her off guard but also because she was a new mom, scared, and very sleep-deprived.
We polled our Facebook fans and asked them to finish this sentence,
“The worst thing anyone’s ever said to me as a parent is ________.”
Yikes, did we get some harsh responses!
1. My husband went on a business trip for a whole week so now I know JUST how you feel! (said to a single mom)
2. She’s not autistic; she just needs more discipline.
3. Don’t your kids EVER listen? (This was from the woman’s own mom!)
4. I could babysit. I’m sure your kids would act a lot better if you weren’t here to protect them. (Umm, no thanks!)
5. You breastfeed because you’re too lazy to get up and make a bottle in the middle of the night.
6. I had a lady in the middle of Wal-Mart loudly ask me if I was babysitting my daughter ’cause she was too beautiful to actually be mine!
7. My son was born with a gene mutation, which caused him to have an enlarged head. A lady at the mall asked me if he “was one of those midgets with the big heads.” Another lady at Wal-Mart asked me if he was autistic.
8. What’s wrong with him? The question was in reference to my special-needs child. If you are babysitting him, this is ok to ask. If you are standing in line beside me at Wal-Mart, this is NOT!!
9. My oldest son was a very happy child. A woman I went to church with said, “Your baby smiles all the time! Is he retarded?”
10. After spending all night in ER with my two-year-old not being able to breathe, my MIL’s friend said, “Asthma is a made-up illness, all she needs is a good spanking.”
11. There is no such thing as ADHD, you just need to whip his ass and show him who is BOSS.
12. “You must be so stressed all the time.” Umm actually no I’m not. I love my kids, I love raising them, and I know I’m all they need. I find peace in knowing I’m raising them the way I want to, the RIGHT way.
Amen.
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been told as a parent?
Image: Stockxchng/Mrinkk
More Of The Worst Things Said to Parents: Readers Round-up, Part 2
10 Things A Mother-in-Law Should NEVER Utter To A Daughter-in-Law
Go Back To Strollerderby
18 Comments
Sandi commented on Dec 16 11 at 9:43 amI have people telling me #1 but my husband is military and deployed. Not quite the same as a single mom, but still annoying.
Holly commented on Dec 16 11 at 9:48 am1. “It’s cruel to stop after 1 child.”
2. “Breast is best.”
3. Why have a child if you are not going to quit work and raise it?”
Manjari commented on Dec 16 11 at 10:36 amIf you needed fertility treatments to get pregnant, you obviously weren’t meant to reproduce (sometimes it’s God that didn’t mean for me to reproduce, depending on who says it).
goddess commented on Dec 16 11 at 11:38 amWhen I announced my pregnancy with our last, and 4th child, a close friend asked if he should offer congratulations of condolences.
lam commented on Dec 16 11 at 12:01 pm“Your children are going to burn in hell if you don’t get them baptized and raise them to love the lord”
A local salesclerk had asked me where my children were baptized, and I told her that we had no plans to baptize them.
Anonimom commented on Dec 16 11 at 12:27 pmSomeone once asked me of our transracially adopted children, “Wouldn’t they be happier with their own kind?” I quickly responded, “Oh. I assure you. We’re human too. Gosh I must need a day at the salon if I don’t even look human anymore.”
daria commented on Dec 16 11 at 12:35 pm“just switch her to formula” from my MIL re: my baby with reflux
Manjari commented on Dec 16 11 at 12:59 pmGreat comeback, Anonimom! That’s the kind of thing I would only think of after it was too late to respond.
Deserving Porcupine commented on Dec 16 11 at 2:46 pmWhen I was out with my three kids, 3 and under, I was asked, “All these all yours, or are you some kind of babysitter?” I understand my fraternal twins don’t look much alike, but I’m grocery shopping with them and their older brother in a triple stroller. Come on!
Beth commented on Dec 16 11 at 2:47 pmWhen my daughter was born (before we found out she had Down syndrome) I heard the nurses outside my room talking about ‘the mom with the retarded baby’. The nurse who said that HAS A SON WITH DOWN SYNDROME. So that’s how I found out Lauren has Down syndrome.
Oh, and my dad’s boss told him (after my dad proudly telling him about his first granddaughter) “so she’s one of those retards!”
Um, no.
tripletmom commented on Dec 16 11 at 2:48 pm“Oh my God, Triplets?! Better you than me”
Jeannie commented on Dec 16 11 at 3:11 pmThose are awful! My condolences. Although I admit if someone had said #5 to me, I would have laughed and agreed. Yes, I AM too lazy. Rude to point it out, though.
LogicalMama commented on Dec 16 11 at 4:21 pmAnonimom– I love that!
My BIL was pissed at my son. He claimed something didn’t happen that I was there to witness and we kept going back and forth. He finally looked me right in the eye and said, “You’re a liar. Now I see where he gets it from!!” Oh, it was on, you know that!
mama b commented on Dec 16 11 at 5:05 pmWhen my daughter was 19 months I was grocery shopping too close to nap time and she was shrieking in the check out line. It wasn’t a huge deal-she was 19 months, but she was pretty big and mature looking for her age. I walked out of the store and an elderly couple stopped and rolled down the window of the car. The lady looked at me and said “Is she mentally ill?!” I was like “Are you serious or joking?” No comment, then she said “I’m serious.” I then told her I found her statement to be completely rude and disrespectful, then her A$$ of a husband opened his big mouth and told me that I was a terrible mother and why the hell did I have a child. I told them to go screw themselves. Seriously WTH is wrong with some people?!
Voice of Reason commented on Dec 16 11 at 8:35 pmA friend’s mother came over and pointedly told me that, ‘breastfeeding is a private thing and some women just make a point of doing it in public to make women who were unable to do it feel bad.’ I was speechless.
Britt commented on Dec 18 11 at 12:01 pm“I would never formula feed my child, it’s clear your poisoning her and she’s going to be retarded and a serial killer” -my husbands step mom to me.. Yet she just had a baby and had a live in nanny from the day they came home from the hospital. And the nanny formula feeds her baby…………………
Sdg commented on Dec 18 11 at 8:57 pmMy daughter has a dime sized birthmark (strawberry mark) on the tip of her nose. A woman at Macy’s asked if she fell and got a boo-boo. When I said no, it’s a birthmark, she replied “oh well. Thank God a mother’s love is blind!”
Linda, t.o.o. commented on Dec 18 11 at 9:01 pmSome of these sound very, um, fictional (ahem @Britt ahem). Some jackhole sitting behind me on an airplane once suggested loudly to his neighbor (for my benefit) that I ought to “spank that brat.” He was referring to my infant son who started crying due to the change in cabin pressure. I called over a flight attendant and told her through gritted teeth that if she didn’t shut him up, I would.
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