When we lost our baby girl at 23 weeks in October 2010, the nurses strongly encouraged us to take some pictures. In fact, one of the nurses, unbeknownst to us, took some beautiful artful photos of Evangeline in private, after taking some of us holding her. We cherish these photos still, even now that we’ve had a healthy little boy this year. At her memorial service we handed out candles with little sepia toned photos of our little girl attached and this year on the anniversary of her death I used this picture as my Facebook profile pic. I think we need to remove the stigma. I was more upset about TMZ blurring out the image as if it’s offensive. They are just tiny, sweet little feet.

Lots of families cherish the photos they have of their stillborn babies. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is an organization of professional photographers that donate their time and talents to photograph babies that have passes away- such that the families will have those momentos.

If the Duggars handed the photos out at the memorial service (and you don’t mention if it was public or private/family only) then they did not intend to hide the photos.

Andrea: it’s literally impossible (seriously, look it up! I dare ya) to get an abortion without significant health concerns at 6 months gestation. At the point at which most abortions take place, 7-8 weeks, it would take a magnifying glass to see the fetus’s feet, which would have just begun to form. So to frame this as a question of abortion is typical of how pro-lifers like to bend the truth in order to support their agenda.

@Bunnytwenty – the picture is the only fact I was referring to. Those little feet do not belong to a “fetus”. They belong to a baby. The picture allows no denial.

I suffered a miscarriage this year very similar in nature to Michelle’s. Why anyone would want a photo is beyond me. And I wasn’t allowed such a luxury, my baby having passed naturally and not coming out looking like anything but random bits of tissue. But, her photos should have been kept private. VERY private. I’m talking not handed out to anyone, anywhere. Some people just love the limelight I guess.

Actually, it was a 2nd trimester miscarriage. 4 more weeks and that baby could have survived in a NICU. I thought the pictures were beautiful. I agree that there is such a stigma about baby loss, regardless of how far along the mother is. While tmz was likely just trying to get press, I think that if the duggars are comfortable enough to have their entire life in the public eye then it would have been hypocrisy to hide this part of it. They are showing that even though this was baby #20 she was loved and wanted. As someone who has suffered from infertility I have to stop myself from feeling resentful of people who seem to pop out babies left and right, but I would never write off someone’s loss as insignificant. I hope the pictures touch someone in seeing how precious and perfectly formed those feet and hands are.

Uh… In case this is lost on you, Strollerderby.., you just published the photos as well. Pixelated or not… you are just as guilty as TMZ.

How you choose to grieve is just that- your choice. I don’t like the Duggars and certainly don’t agree with having so many children. I come from a background where the health of the mother takes priority- so that she is around and healthy to nurture and raise the children she brings into the world. That said, I also have great empathy for her loss. From their perspective, this was their child, a sibling and I understand that honoring the life is important for their healing. The photos don’t offend me, what does is the venom and hatred directed at them- and their willingness to turn EVERY event in their lives into a TV episode. Jackie O suffered a miscarriage, so do many other famous women, but you don’t see the public overexposure. I certainly could chime in with the haters, but I will refrain- and offer my own prayer that Jim-Bob and Michelle finally hear the message and STOP having more kids. Risking your life and health and the well-being of the children you already have is just wrong. Be thankful for what you have. There are some of us who would be grateful to have just one child.