I believe “cover up” and “be discreet” are two different things. I’m due in a month with my first child – I have no intention of covering up when I breastfeed in public. However, I *will* be discreet – top layer up, nursing bra cup or tank top neckline down. I’m not at all modest, and I really don’t care who sees my boobs, but I recognize that others may be a little uncomfortable viewing nipples in public, and I respect that. However, I’m going to be more focused on latch than coverage, so if someone does see something that they don’t want too, that’s too bad. I’ll be doing the best I can. But don’t ask me to throw a towel, scarf, blanket, or any other kind of “cover” over my baby and my boob.

Covers don’t work for every baby. Both my boys got to a point where they would rip the cover off if I tried to use it. That being said, I always wore a nursing tank with a top over it, so I wasn’t exposing my entire breast to feed. I don’t think that is ever necessary in public. There are ways to be discreet without using a cover. But, discreet is such a subjective thing. One person might be offended by even an inch of flesh, while another might not find the whole breast offensive. The fact is, woman should be encouraged to breastfeed, not harassed and shamed, regardless of how much flesh they are exposing. Too many woman give up because of fear of nursing in public. The judgement has to stop.

You are an idiot. “no one wants to see your saggy, milk-filled breasts.”

Well, it looks like you have a confidence issue, You just told everyone on the internet how gross YOUR boobs are.

Because of this, and because of people like you I will NEVER use a cover. The war has begun and you will loose.

Nice Similac ad by the way.

How about an update blog in 5 months, 8 months, and again in 11 months…your views, and opinions might change. Heck, you might even find yourself with your foot in your mouth; or your nursing child’s foot. ¢•;

Your baby is 1 month old. My toddler is 19 months old and still requires the odd feed particularly at church when he’s tired and whingy. If I try to put a cover on him he rips it off. I think you are living in a new baby bubble to be honest. I am all for discreet feeding myself but if I have nothing to cover up with (I tend to focus on putting food, nappies and wipes in my toddler’s changing bag instead of focusing on what other people think) then I have to feed him. Now comes your barrage of comments on breastfeeding a toddler I suppose… I would love to see you now write to the Scum (the sun) and tell them to tell the page 3 model to cover up or the writers of Nuts magazine which can plainly be seen in shops. To be honest with you that offends me but I can’t see that changing anytime.

One final comment – what does the look of someone’s boobs have to do with it? Does that mean “ugly” people should stay inside for fear of offending people?! What a ridiculous argument. I hope you find the confidence to breastfeed openly one day – you should take a trip to Mongolia – they have the right attitude!

Breastfeeding mothers, I ask you: What’s easier? Trying to cover up a baby whom is no longer in the newborn stage while nursing, or anybody with an issue merely looking the other way? The fact is numerous infants don’t like being covered up. And fair enough, would you like to be forced to consume every drink, snack and meal with a blanket over your head? In trying to force an older baby to stay under a blanket the likelihood of a “peep show” is far higher than feeding discreetly without a cover. Most babies have limbs and will power, you know?

I so agree with you Merideth. I have an 8 month old and I feed her everywhere. And I cover up. She isn’t crazy about the cover. I use a blanket and once I get her latched if it’s hot I pull the blanket up so she’s not really under it, but my breast is still covered. There are ways to be discreet about it. I’ve never been approached or asked to leave or anything. And I wrote a blog post recently about people announcing how they fed their baby in line at the store. Seriously? What is that all about? Well, I won’t get into the whole post if you want to read it you can: http://monicasmommusings.blogspot.com/2011/09/congratulations-you-fed-your-baby.html

But anyways, I just breastfed my daughter Friday night in the middle of my 9 year old daughter’s gymnasium and no one had a problem with it at all. All of those impressionable children and I kept it covered and all was fine. There are ways to do it and keep everyone comfortable. In all honesty it has also been my experience that the women who just whip it out in public are the ones who are seeking attention anyways. And they blow situations out of proportion anyways when it comes to what really happened. Congrats on your new baby and I hope breastfeeding continues to go well for you.

I agree with most of what you are saying. However even being “discrete” I have gotten a few strange comments. Also my older son hated the cover up, so I didn’t use one, but was still discrete with a tank under a t-shirt. It is strange though that I feel I need to be so concerned with covering the top of my breast while breastfeeding when people wear tops that are much lower cut. Also I believe allowing people to see public breastfeeding it normalizes breastfeeding and hopefully will make it easier for the next generation.

With all due respect and I am hardly a lactivist though I did nurse 3.5 years, you are still pretty early in the nursing game. There are some babes that really do not handle being covered up, and while it was awkward to have my breast exposed at the end of the day it’s about the kid being fed. It’s attitudes like yours that create the tensions and really put pressure on women, why judge another Mama for how she nurses? Really, if you see breast and don’t like it, don’t look.

The bebe au lait things are ridiculously frumpy. If they make YOU feel better, by all means, use them. I never used them. Never got hassled for breastfeeding, either, just doing what I needed to do without much ado or concern. It’s not a peep show, my boobs are not and have never been saggy. You are such a sad, sad person. This is all so tired and this is one of the worst columns ever on Babble, and there have been so many bad ones. Chubby fishhook face’s rant is unlistenable, too.

yes a one month old is very easy to “throw a cover over” try it with a 5 month old or 12 month old! starting at around 3 months old my daughter would rip the cover off, and unlatch herself to see what the hell was over her head. you can still be discreet without covering up. In fact, I don’t think a cover is discreet at all. Its like a huge tent advertising, “BREASTFEEDING OVER HERE!!!” a boob out the top of a shirt shows about as much as a v-neck. Babies head should cover most the breast and if anyone sees more than that, they are looking entirely too hard.

While I feel we should not be waving our boobs around for attention, I do not think covering up is for every mother and child. We need to support mothers in ALL facets to empower them to believe they can breastfeed. Adding to the complication of trying to latch a baby and stay covered up to a first time mom already having difficulties may just be the last straw that has her throwing in the towel. Please check back in in a few months and let us know how your older child likes to be covered. I have YET to see a child older than 6 months tolerate being covered unless they are asleep. My daughter is 15 months and refuses to nurse while covered. Always has. Can’t blame her, I hate anything covering my head as well. We are discreet, but she prefers total boob access. You can’t see much, but based on your post, I would be doing something to create a scene. Also, it was awful hard to read your post with the glaring Similac add offering “support” in the top right corner. How bout we cover that up instead?!

You are horrible. Honestly, there is nothing of value to this post. You have absolutely NO idea what it’s like to try to nurse a baby who doesn’t want to be covered up. My baby would not nurse under a cover after about three months. Should I have stayed home? Or pumped (did not produce for a pump) and lugged a bottle and ice around all day? Stay home and isolate myself? Switch to formula because some moron gets the vapors at the mere idea of me nursing? NO! I should just feed my baby when he needed to be fed without a single thought of whether a nitwit like you gets offended. This marks the last time I visit babble. Enough is enough, guys. This blog is written for the consumption by small-minded and uneducated people. Bye bye.

Wow, that is a gorgeous picture! What a happy mother and contented baby. I think she looks amazing.

I really don’t care if anyone is bothered by me nursing my babies and toddlers whenever, wherever, and however. If they don’t like it, they can look away. Neither one of my daughters wanted anything to do with any kind of cover. And by the time the 2nd one came around I was done with wearing 2 shirts for the “one up, one down” maneuver. I wear tops that let me pull them down easily. I can use my hand to cover the top of my breast if I think it’s an issue.

But I’m also a fan of letting “all those impressionable children” see me nursing, so that they will grow up and nurse their own babies!

And nursing in the Ergo just rocks–I’ve walked miles while nursing, cared for my older child, even worked, all while letting my baby and toddler nurse to her heart’s content. And if the tops of my milk-filled boobs scare people, then that’s their own first-world problem.

Personally, I think the nursing covers draw much more attention to the fact that someone is breastfeeding in public than the picture you posted. My oldest son refused to let me use them and feeling new and self-conscious, I would bring pumped bottles of milk or make my husband stand watch early on. My second son (the current nursling) won’t let me use one either but I’m much more comfortable this time around so it’s no big deal. I find it’s easiest to wear a nursing tank and a blouse that buttons or a loose shirt with a deep v over the tank. Sometimes, if I feel like someone might gawk and make me feel uncomfortable, I’ll pull the burp cloth over my shoulder and cover the top of my breast. The more sure of yourself and comfortable you feel with nursing in public, the less you may feel like using the “hooter hider”.

Back to the picture you posted, though. If someone has the audacity to freak out over that level of exposure with nursing (which is hardly anything at all) then it’s proof our collective mindset needs to change drastically. Breastfeeding an infant is NORMAL and the very first step we, as mothers, can take to prevent lifelong problems with obesity in our children. It’s OK if you don’t feel comfortable being that exposed while nursing in public but it’s absolutely NOT ok to try and make anyone feel uncomfortable for feeding her baby.

I agreed with the title of this but I think YOU are ignorant (not your fault, give it a few months) (although your comment about saggy milk filled boobs was unnecessary and well…..hurtful and embarassing). I also think the chick in the video is damn right.

I find it more than a little disconcerting that in your last post here, you essentially defend women who want to wear short skirts and show skin.
http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2011/10/01/are-brooklyn-women-and-their-short-skirts-to-blame-for-area-sexual-assaults-yes-says-nypd/

Here however, you have issues with women who *won’t* cover up.

Maybe you could elaborate on the discrepancy. Does it have to do with degree of perceived hotness of the woman? Something else?

If your goal was to be provocative, mission accomplished.
If your goal was rational dialogue, well, less so there, eh?

Talking down and speaking judgmentally to people doesn’t change anyone’s opinion. It just gets a lot of hateful comments issued towards you.

I suspect that was your goal. Congratulations. You succeeded.

Yes, it is too much to ask a nursing mother to cover up. My son wouldn’t nurse with a cover & it was awkward to even try. It was much easier to discreetly feed him from my breast without making a huge production of pulling out a cover & making us both miserable. I’m so glad your one month old tolerates it so well. Your experience is not everyone else’s.

The tone of this post is so rude & judgmental. I guess it has gotten plenty of attention.

I think you’re making a big assumption about women who are harassed for breastfeeding in public. You assume that they *must* not be covering up very well to incur the wrath of strangers. The woman in the video aside, I’ve heard and read many stories from women who were told to stop breastfeeding or leave public places even though they insist they were being discreet and/or using cover-ups similar to yours. These women were not doing anything wrong or illegal and were discriminated against because strangers were uncomfortable with the mere IDEA of breastfeeding. I’m glad you haven’t experienced any discrimination of ill treatment while nursing, but just because you’ve had only positive experiences doesn’t mean the same is true for others.

I am just stunned. Just. Stunned. You owe all your readers an apology. This is so hateful and shaming to all mothers, those who breastfeed or not. It must be awful to be so ashamed of your own body and of breastfeeding, but those are your issues. You don’t get to judge other women for not having your hangups, just like they don’t get to mock you for thinking your body is ugly. *You*, with your pseudo-supportive ‘breastfeeding is great as long as there aren’t any breasts involved’ is part of the reason laws exist to protect nursing moms. Because it isn’t about how much you show, it’s about how much your baby gets. Period.

I actually think that Meredith IS open to changing her mind. After all, she’s breastfeeding this baby.She’ll learn as she goes just like everyone else does the first time around.

You have obviously never nursed a baby in public who has had a bad latch, is particularly obstinate, or is distracted by the shawl. I have, and the shawl didn’t work for very long for either of my babies, despite my efforts. I learned to nurse fairly discreetly without. But if you’re watching me, you may get flashed. If that offends you, don’t watch. My baby’s needs come before the discomfort of strangers. Shame on you for judging other breastfeeding moms. We are all doing what’s best for our babes. Oh, and since your baby is still a newborn- fair warning- yours may well become one of those who fights the shawl. And you will be eating your words.

Congrats on your new baby. Good luck with breastfeeding. Sorry to hear about your sad body issues. You aren’t changing anyone’s minds with this tripe, but you sure are racking up pageviews for Similac, so I guess this is a success for you.

no new ideas here and nothing more to add. so many other commenters have already said it. i’m chalking this post up to sleep deprivation, as i cannot think of any other reasonable explanation. of all the stimuli in a public environment, i find it rather odd to state that nipple exposure is the worst of it. it’s only a spectator sport if others choose to stare. personally, if they did, it says far more about the viewer than the nursing mom.

Pretty sure everyone covered what needs to be said. Just joining the chorus: Talk to us in a few months.

Yet another brilliant blog post by a brilliant babble.com “author”. The points made in the video are spot-on, thank you for posting. Meredith, you have self-image issues that you shouldn’t project on every other nursing mother on the internet. Your blog post is based in ignorance and I am so excited to see what you have to say about your precious nursing cover in about 2-3 months time.

I got to your blog from a link in someone else’s and, I have to say, I will NEVER be reading you again. I’ve not read something so reductive and mean-spirited in a while. I mean, yeah, you’ve been doing this for a MONTH so you must know all there is to know about how EASY it is to cover up a baby. I guess that must mean you’re going to stop when she’s able to grab and pull at whatever you’ve thrown over her face. You may want to consider – when she does that – it could be less about play and more about, “I can’t freaking BREATHE because a cover is over my face, you moron.”

Call me when your baby is older and rips the cover off. Also, my boobs aren’t saggy. But thanks for suggesting they are.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&note_id=10150282211976372

My notes on this subject from a few weeks ago. I hope the author of this blog will read it and that it makes a difference for her. I hope the same for anyone else that feels the way the author does.

you’re lucky you have a baby that is happy being covered up, I’m not particularly happy about getting my boobs out in public and I tried to use a cover but my little girl wouldn’t have a bar of it, even when she was just a month old. She’d cry and not latch until the cover was off. So yep, my boob was on display, and as it turns out I’ve been the only one with a problem. I guess New Zealand is just a bit more tolerant of breastfeeding mums.

And just ftr, haha, even after nursing for as long as I have, my breasts are still quite perky (I happen to work out, and take care of myself ;)). I’m sorry yours are saggy, milk filled breasts. Thank you for your honesty.

May I just say how pleased I am to read these comments? I nursed my kids in the 70′s and early 80′s and never had a problem with folks disapproving. Maybe it was a different time, a more natural time, but I’d also get those knowing smiles. Sometimes a sheepish look now and then, but never for more than a few seconds when the person would look away if they’d been startled. People weren’t so mean and rude then, or so judgemental. It’s really sad how things have changed, and I think corporations are behind some of it – pushing artificial feeding in subtle, and not so subtle, ways. (See Evenflo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_90lwKiqG7s&feature=relmfu.) But Meredith, really! I feel a bit sorry for you in your naivete. This article must be so cringe-worthy to you now! C’mon girl, positive attitudes grow when you just go on feeding your growing little one without shame, without apologies, and with a proper respect for the miracle that is breastfeeding. In hope that your confidence grows as your baby does. <3

P.P.S Well, that Evenflo video now says private! The huge backlash must have made them reconsider their angle of playing into the ‘shame’ and ‘selfishness’ of breastfeeding! See what we can accomplish when we stand up for our perfect milk for our babies?

the photo of the nursing mother is quite lovely. it also shows no more of her breast than one could see if she were a celeb in a ballgown or swimsuit. my kids see THOSE photos every day in the grocery store lineup. at least in this one they see a confident woman doing something loving and nourishing with her body.

Babble, seriously? do we need to regular bait these mommy wars with cheap posts intended to insult and inflame? that’s not writing. that’s tabloid press. i want you to be better.

Covering up is a personal choice, it’s not for every mom and it’s not for every baby. I had a much easier time being discreet when I didn’t use a cover since my son was a thrasher. I think the bottom line is you can’t assume to speak for a community of breastfeeders when you are so new at it. Even after 2 years, and I’m a CLC, I still have much to learn. I thought I had it all figured out at 3 months, flashforward almost 2 years and things have greatly changed. I think you just need some perspective, and that will only come with time.

In my life before marriage and kids I worked in a topless bar, so yep whippin’ ‘em out didn’t bother me one bit… Then, once I had my baby (up to number 3 now) I was terrified at the prospect of someone *gasp* seeing my boob! Probably had a lot to do with the stigma attached caused by people like you, but I manage to be discreet, manage… It’s EASY and I never ever put a blanket over their beautiful heads or faces, in fact, the bar wench in me would likely get quite nasty or violent to someone who tried to force me ;P just wondering, have you seen sex and the city 2? The part where Carrie is intrigued by the woman lifting her veil for every french fry, basically marveling at the difficulty of eating it causes and you want me to do THAT to my baby? Pffftt fat chance, suffocate your baby all you like, but I find that the people who stare the hardest are the ones who find something to whinge about, if you get on with your own life and enjoy it, be a mum, seize the day and GET A LIFE, you’ll find you probably won’t notice it any more, as for feeding in front of impressionable young children, I’m all for it, raise them to not find it unusual and then we are less likely to have more people like you in the next generation BTW I am no “lactivist” I fed my first for 3 months and my second for 2 weeks due to issues I was too scared to find answers for (again because of mutts like you) and I hope to have more luck this time, now that I’m a little older wiser, less self conscious and less worried about judgement, I am not proud of my past but felt it necessary to point out in context of my point Oh and for the record, not that it would ever happen but I ran into my sleazy old boss a few months ago, I saw him glance at my boobs before stating that ifi ever needed extra money I could have my old job- they can’t be too nasty

Check back with us in 5 months, Meredith! Seriously, it would be nice to have a follow-up post about this.

Right above where it wants me to leave this comment, there’s a nice quote: “Babble is a supportive, diverse community.”

Let’s have some SUPPORT for a variety of experience here — just because this works for you at 1 month, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for all moms in all situations. I’m all for breastfeeding, but I am NOT all for the “the way I do it is the only right way to do it and SHAME on you for not doing it the one, correct way” that seems to be so prevalent.

“All of those impressionable children and I kept it covered and all was fine.”
Right. Because “impressionable children” will be harmed by the sight of you feeding a baby, the same way they ate when they were that age. And they’ll be totally harmed by seeing that nursing is normal, thus smoothing the way to eventually nursing their own children without the neuroses on display in these posts.
It’s very strange the way people think about these things.

Babble, why did you edit this article? After all the flap on Twitter, I came here to see what the stink was all about. Now that I see your “this post was edited” note up top, I know I’m not going to see it, so why bother?

You really do suck, Meredith. Babble is ridiculous for letting you write here.

Is that a photo of the author breast feeding her one month old baby? I’m just wondering cuz if it is, now the whole world is seeing her breast feed without a cover. Ooops

Meredith, you just need to worry about yourself. If covering up works for you, so be it. I will never cover up, no matter how “easy” you think it is to just throw a towel over my breast. I find it unnecessary, distracting, and honestly it’s downright rude to make my baby eat with his head covered when I (and no one else) has to do that! You’ve been breastfeeding for one month, and it’s a whole different story when your baby gets older and flails around and rips off the towel. When that happens, I hope it doesn’t stop you from breastfeeding in public – I hope it makes you understand why so many moms don’t use a cover, and that we can nurse in public “discreetly”. You may find yourself doing that in a few months. Oh, and believe it or not, even though you haven’t seen any sideways glances directed at you while you nurse covered, there are many people out there that are downright disgusted by the act of breastfeeding alone. So there are folks who wants to throw up in their mouth when they see you nursing your baby – even with a towel covering you both up. See, you can’t please everyone – even covered up, you are bound to upset someone at some point. Worry about your baby, not what everyone else thinks about what you’re doing.

How much money did Bebe au Lait pay you to write this?

I agree with all of the posters about the impossibility to cover up with a baby several months old.

And, how about when it’s just too dang hot for a cover up. I’ve always breastfed discreetly, but I will not make my baby suffer under a cover/blankets when it’s 90 degrees outside because someone else is uncomfortable with my breasts.

I also find it strange how nonbreastfeeding women show more breast in the way of cleavage, tanks, and see through shirts, and no one gives a hoot.

It’s actually articles like yours that do breastfeeding women a disservice. What you should say is, “let the woman tend to her baby’s most basic needs, don’t look, and you shut up”.

I have to say that I agree with u.I usually use a nursing cover, nurse in my car first, or, my personal favorite, use a store’s changing rooms to nurse, because its usually quiet, there’s some kind of bench or seat, and I don’t need any cover so I’ve got privacy. If someone were to be offended by me and my nursing cover then too bad for them, but if I have it all out there then I don’t know…I feel like its almost taunting them to do or say something about it. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is. Like u, no one has ever giving me any problems feeding in public because I’m discreet.

Also, instead of vilifying a mother for expressing her opinion, how about we welcome a breastfeeding mother who has found what makes her comfortable. At least she feeds the baby in public if need be. All the people name calling her….karma.

I have no problem with BFIP- but one poster said something that alarmed me- she said there were times when her baby pulled off quickly and that she sprayed milk up to 3 feet away. That’s not common is it?

This is almost embarrassing for you. You’ve obviously never nursed a child who refuses to use a cover, who has latch issues, had supply issues that mean you need to nurse frequently or anything of the type.

The reason Kara wore a revealing shirt in her video was to make a point about how women wearing shirts like hers earn LESS dirty looks and insults than women who show a lot less breast when they breastfeed.

Like I said in MY post about this, I’m not going to make my life and my baby’s a living hell because some people can’t grow up. Want people to shut up about it? Then leave THEM alone and just look away.

my baby used to hate being covered up! She would scream until I took the cover off of her head. and then she would latch on just fine. Now that shes 4 months, its a battle to keep it over her because she wants to play with it. she wants to pull it around and try to eat it. its a distraction from nursing. I try to nurse in my car as much as possible. So, when I am in my car, I don’t use a cover. you can only see the top of my breast anyways, which you can see if you look at any college aged girl with her low cut shirt. I usually get glares from women with their boyfriends. The women glance into my car, see im feeding my baby, give me a disgusted look, grab their boyfriends arms tighter and keep walking. its ridiculous.

There’s nothing wrong with breasts or breast-feeding. If people have a problem with breast-feeding in public, that’s their own set of issues. Breast-feeding is literally the most natural thing in the world, and just because we live in a culture that celebrates fake tits in every commercial around but is scared of real boobies doing with they’re made to do, does not mean moms and babies should have to be ashamed and cover up. It’s not “win-win” when you’re giving in to the prudish notions of people who need to get a life.

This is idiotic. I have nursed 6 of my 7 children for quite a total of years nursing. Not one in those 7 has wanted to have something ON their face while they tried to eat, and frankly neither does thus author EAT with something on HER face! Its a breast, it was designed to work and function for the nurture and feeding of our children. Hypersexualizing our society has caused us to question our ability to fully commit to this function without shame. Granted, I don’t just hang out or wave tassels on the one not in use (though that’s probably a good way to remember which one I used last…) My slings and carriers are there to keep my hands free and baby happily snug. I can appreciate each mom being as modest as she wishes to be, and just flailing boobs to cause a scene is probably not an issue that happens too terribly often. Most of us are intelligent dedicated women who are doing what is best for our child and loving our families and husbands. Get over the boob issues.

Oh so basically the original post says she doesn’t want to look at (specifically) breastfeeding mom’s breasts because they’re “gross and saggy”. I am assuming this means perky, perfectly round breasts, like the ones in Victoria’s Secret advertising, is more pleasing for her to look at.

Has anyone else picked up yet on the fact that Babble thrives on controversial topics and blogs? This Meridith chick was probably told to write a BF blog with a slant to get all you mother hens ruffled up. Who cares though, really? Is her opinion going to make you change your standard?

Reading the commentary has for the most part soothed my rage over the smug, superior and shaming tone of Meredith’s post. Dang but the internet is full of awesome folks.

Ah, and for the record, I was asked to leave a restaurant in Georgia WHILE USING a cover AND having asked to be in a corner booth for MORE privacy. So no, it’s not just exhibitionists or show-offs. You’ll understand that soon enough and look back at this and wince.

I think that moms should feel free to nurse discreetly without a cover and the true ‘problem’ in a very loose sense of the word is the mothers that are very ostentatious about nursing their child in public — a category that a majority of nursing mothers do not fall in to. Personally I have never seen a mother nursing in public exposing her breast to a point that it made me uncomfortable.
However, I did have a friend’s husband thank me once for covering my son up while breastfeeding him while we were visiting. It caught me quite off guard. He explained that a friend of their’s is often quite ‘showy’ when nursing and it makes him uncomfortable.
Should it make him uncomfortable? No. But the fact is it does. I do make an effort to cover up, but as others have mentioned that sometimes doesn’t happen with an active baby and in hot weather. You won’t find me using a cover outside in the middle of the afternoon in 90 degree weather. However, near nap time in an air conditioned restaurant? For sure. I won’t inconvenience my baby and myself, but if its no trouble to extend the courtesy of making the men around me a little less squeamish then sure, I’ll cover up.

No matter what I tell myself, I feel uncomfortable and self conscious when I breastfeed in public. I read this post before it was so heavily edited. *You* are making it harder for me.

When you have breastfed 4 babies for a total of 60 months of your life, THEN you can write about how “easy” (or NOT) it is to cover up in public. I always had very little skin showing (just enough boob out of the bra and shirt comfortably right at the top of the areola) and that was fine when they were infants, but when you get to that curious, everything is more interesting stage, there are unexpected pop-offs. There is NO covering any baby over about 4 months old. I breastfed in dressing rooms at the mall or would position my stroller in a way that hid what I was doing at that stage….and actually nursed in the car on many occasions, but really…what a shame that I felt I had to do that. Breasts are just breasts. They aren’t vaginas on our chests…they are boobs and they are meant to feed babies. The fact that they have become sexual objects is really silly to me!!!
All that said, I’m not really sure why this inexperienced breastfeeding mom was asked to write this article.

Who cares?!? Do what works best for you and your family!

I just wonder how many times the author / editors are going to edit this thing. They edited it down once, then edited the editor’s note, then edited the title further. Why not just pull it? It’s clearly offensive. Even as it is now, it’s fairly offensive, but guess what – you don’t get to go back in time and make us all feel better because you made a few tweaks. Those of us who read the first article still feel insulted and offended. And a few people are now saying “oh gee, I don’t see what the fuss is about” because you tidied up this “author’s” insults (as well as corrected some of her clumsier sentence structure and typos). This is a bad blog post. Either you do or you don’t have standards for your bloggers. If you do, it’s not enough to just re-write this, you need to take it down and let us know you’ve talked to the author to indicate your displeasure. Quite a few of us would really appreciate a reply from Meredith – I’d like an apology or at least a comment on how she feels now that people have opened up about how upsetting her comments are. It’s not just that she’s offending people, it is that she has HURT people. Many of them newly breastfeeding moms. For every person who commented here expressing their feelings, you can bet there are women who just read stuff like this, take it in, and assimilate it as part of the one million reasons they feel uncomfortable nursing in public. Is that what you want to do, Babble?

Meredith, no one is shaming breastfeeding mothers who choose to cover up. No One. NO ONE. That little ditty is a load of bullshit. And yes, those who are offended by the sight of an openly breastfeeding mother SHOULD have the decency, humility and cognitive ability to deal with their own issues. You are offended by mothers who don’t make the same choice as you… simply because they don’t feel the shame you feel, hence this very sorry defense of your offensive article. Tough tittes, sister. They have a purpose in the world and *that purpose* is more important than some gawker’s fee-fees.

as usual, i’m 100% with manjari and mistress scorpio. although i’m not personally shamed or offended by the post (i have enough self confidence not to be), i find the author’s response completely ridiculous. the post was not written as a personal anecdote, it was written as a tirade against breastfeeding mothers. i don’t care if other mothers (1) breastfeed with a cover, (2) breastfeed without a cover, or (3) formula feed. i also don’t care if other mothers cloth diaper, cosleep, or marry the fathers of their babies. if i have an opinion, i can freely choose to express it but really, this went beyond that. also, sincerely, if you chose not to breastfeed your first baby because you felt uncomfortable nursing in public, why not use this post as a PSA on why public nursing is okay, rather than adding to the chorus of the “ew-its-a-boob” folks??

“Also, when your opinions on public breastfeeding mirror those of, say, an 11 year old boy, it might be time to re-examine those opinions.”

YES TO THIS!

“The U.S. Surgeon General’s Breastfeeding Fact Sheet states, ‘A study published last year in the journal Pediatrics estimated that if 90% of U.S. families followed guidelines to breastfeed exclusively for six months, the U.S. would annually save $13 billion from reduced medical and other costs.’” This is worth repeating, so I am. Public health trumps personal hang ups.

Meredith, you said: “@Pepper Pheaa — Thanks for your comment (and thanks to everyone else for chiming in, too). I am a newly breastfeeding mom, and this is my experience. Part of the reason I didn’t pursue breastfeeding vigorously with my first daughter is because I was totally uncomfortable doing it in public if it meant people would be able to see my breasts (that post is linked in the first paragraph). While you feel offended by that reason and this post, I’ve long been offended by women who have insisted that bearing a breast in public while nursing is no big deal, and those who find it offensive should be ashamed. Feelings aren’t fact, and this post is just a reflection of my feelings.”

Meredith,

Are you addressing my comment or something you imagined that I said? I am not offended by the fact that you feel more comfortable nursing under a cover or in private. Did you read my earlier post? I also preferred to use a cover. When my son would no longer tolerate it, however, and would not nurse if there was ANYTHING touching his face, I had to learn to nurse without it.

While using the cover, I was actually given a hard time by a waiter (he asked me to leave, but I said no, and management apologized when I asked for them) while WEARING the cover. Other women have said the same in your comments. So it turns out, even when you’re bending over backwards to spare anyone the sight of less breast than is exposed by a bathing suit, you are STILL giving people something to talk about. But that’s not even the point. The point is that this isn’t a “hey, I prefer to nurse under my cover, and here’s why” kind of story. It’s a bratty rant against women who are more confident than you, and who know a little bit more than you do about breastfeeding, how important it is. And yes, women whose experiences are different from yours. I happen to think that the women who think “bearing a breast (sic)” in public is probably not that big of a deal, but it’s not something I personally wanted to do. Thus, the cover. But when my son stopped nursing under the cover, stopped nursing if anything was touching his face, and made a huge deal about getting out from under the cover, I was not about to stop nursing him. It was much more discreet to simply nurse him as modestly as I could without the cover. Of course, while I didn’t want to bare my breast or “whip one out” as I think your first version said, this was not because I have body hang-ups but rather because I didn’t want to sully my nursing experience with other people’s comments or dirty looks. I didn’t want to think about people like YOU who just couldn’t wait to judge me for something you obviously can’t begin to understand. And I just don’t get why you care. I have been around what seems like a bazillion nursing women, and the only time I’ve ever seen a nip was my own, in the privacy of my own home. I mean, maybe I just don’t lurk nursing mothers as hard as you do or something? I’m wondering where you hang out if you really see so much nipple in your life. I mean, if you don’t like it, the effort it takes to avert your eyes is miniscule. I just don’t get your level of ire over this. Your first missive was insulting and ranty and furious, when the effort it takes to look away is so miniscule.

You mentioned nursing through a dinner party. I’m actually surprised that you think people who nurse without covers are so out of line, but yet you felt completely confident in nursing in that situation. Yay, you, and all, but how would you have felt if someone had said “oh my god, so gross, she’s nursing and I am trying to EAT here. I can, like, hear that baby sucking on her BREAST!” You might have thought, hey, we are all just eating here. But they can’t SEE your breast, so it is okay? But what if they can hear it? Why is seeing it gross but hearing it is not? A breast is only okay if it is a concept? Breastfeeding is okay as long as it is secret, or at least, invisible? (But not silent?) Do you really fail to see the myriad shades of gray here, while you stand by your defiant nursing is yucky if I can see it happening attitude?

We all have to decide or ourselves what’s more important. Feeding the baby or offending someone else. Trust me, there will come a time when you offend someone merely for breastfeeding – and not because some lactivist sneers at you for your circus tent, no, but because again, someone will be offended that he / she can HEAR it happening. You are willing to offend them (and I hope you keep this confidence) because it is worth ignoring the discomfort caused by a small-minded person in order to feed your baby. So I’m willing to ignore my own slight discomfort as well as yours in order to do the same. You may want to check your attitude at the door, though. If it weren’t for the “lactivists” here, you might not even have the right to nurse under your hooter hider. Let me be the first to promise you that someone, somewhere, will be offended by your breastfeeding no matter how hard you try to make it invisible. A bigger person would just say “I messed up, I wrote about something I didn’t know, and I’ve changed my mind.” But, it looks clear you’re not that person.

Actually, people do complain, even when women are covered. They give odd looks and make comments, even in the presence of a Hooter Hider cover. I agree that you can breastfeed modestly. The problem is, who decides what is modest or discreet? All summer long, women wear tanks and shorts I think are too revealing. They wear these and skimpy bikinis revealing more than I would nursing without a cover and I don’t ask them to cover up. There will always be extremes in any group, but all moms I know breastfeed discreetly with or without a cover and I think it should be their choice whether or not to use one.

Amy, did you read the post before it was edited? You think saying she doesn’t want to have to look at nursing mothers’ saggy, milk-filled breasts is just another valid perspective? I actually did use a cover, because that’s how I felt comfortable. The reason people don’t feel comfortable with public breastfeeding is because of people like Meredith. How could anyone be that involved at looking at a nursing mother’s breasts to care whether they were as perky as Terry Hatcher’s? It’s just a gross, stupid thing to say. Very different from saying, “I personally feel more comfortable wearing a cover.”

I think this woman’s views on this will change in about 3 months when her little one pulls off, lifts up, pulls down her cover. Or when her little ones gums hurt for the first time and chews on the cover instead of nursing. Then we’ll see what she has to say about covering up :-/

Also, it’s only been a month for her. My first snooty, nosy, comment came while I WAS COVERED at church when my son was about 3 months old. Just wait author… your eyes are about to be opened…

Just a point of fact, I’m still nursing my 2.5 yr old, and nursed her on demand even in public when she was an infant. Never used a cover of any kind and never have had a negative word said to me (or even noticed dirty looks). For me, a nursing cover is hot, uncomfortable and I can’t see my baby which bugs me. Using a nursing cover isn’t a shield against negativity, and it isn’t necessary for breastfeeding in public. Each mother should choose what is comfortable for her.

I know you’re early into your breastfeeding career, but I applaud you for braving the blogs to say what you just said. I have had the same experience- I’m always discreet and I’ve never had so much as a raised eyebrow in my direction either! It is sad how many women can be very judgey over breastfeeding and the form it’s done in- but for me personally, it’s such a personal, intimate moment, these times I am feeding my baby, and I love it- but don’t necessarily want to share it with the world!

Also, when you cover up, it solves other people’s problem of “where am I supposed to look? Her eyes? Or am I supposed to look at her boob to prove I’m cool with it?” I personally don’t mind if someone else accidentally slips some nip while feeding their child, but honestly, I’d prefer not to see if I can avoid :) And frankly, I don’t like watching people do other intimate things in public either, like making out :)

All that said, I don’t judge anyone else for their approach- every baby is different and even I can’t always successfully use a cover! There’s enough judging among parents! Let’s all try to be nice to one another.

This is amazingly ignorant and incredibly shameful. And whatever I read was edited! Nursing a newborn for ONE month does not an expert make, nor are your experiences the norm for all mothers. Your baby may nurse under a ridiclious cover NOW but if you think she’ll always afford you such a pleasure, think again. It’s possible to nurse discretely (not that one needs to) without a cover, and that is the only way I can nurse my daughter in public. Understandably she won’t eat with a hot, suffocating sheet over her head. Not to mention, nothing screams LOOK AT ME I’M NURSING like a cover.

I could go on but I won’t. Congratulations on being ignorant and contributing to the shaming of breastfeeding mothers.