It depends on the bathroom, but mine are still young. Since I have two boys and a girl (all five and under) I figure that no matter which bathroom we go into, half of us are in the “wrong” one! That being said, I’m not really afraid of sending my kids into a predator’s lair every time I send them to the bathroom. I’m more afraid that they’re going to need help with their button and I’ll have to go in and help them. Frankly, I don’t know why they just don’t do away with urinals and make all bathrooms for both genders. If we only have stalls, would it matter?

My son is nine. We just went to a major amusement park, just he and I and despite judgement, he came into the bathroom with me. Same with the airport. Busy or not, I don’t care. Luckily, he has long hair so everyone thinks he’s a girl anyway, but even so. At the airport, we saw a mom bring her much older son into the ladies room as well and I didn’t care at all! In fact, I pointed it out on purpose so that she (and her son) felt good about it, as well as my own son! I don’t care what anyone thinks. My son isn’t a gawker, he’s just there to do his business and go. In most circumstances I will let him use a men’s restroom, but not while we were traveling.

@Logicalmama: If you don’t mind my asking, what made the amusement park or the airport seem unsafe? Since you said that you often let him go alone, I assume this situation seemed riskier to you than other situations. I’m just curious because the airport was literally the *first* place I let my son use the bathroom alone! We were on a trip, he needed to go while I was handling something else, it seemed like it was time. I figured there are eight million guys in there going in and out every second, so what could happen? I’ve always heard that the biggest location-related risk factor for sexual assault (for adult women anyway) is isolation, so the less isolated you are, the safer you are.

My 4 yo refuses to go to the bathroom with me, so age 4 is the age for us. I`m usually just outside the door and if his 8yo brother with us, he goes with him.

If I saw a 9 year old boy in the women’s restroom, I’d call security. That is so far beyond the realm of appropriate as to be shocking.

I was once in the ladies room changing my baby girl, when a mom came in with her son who was about 9. She stood him by the sink while she went in the stall. He spent the entire time staring intently at my partially clothed baby. It seriously, seriously skeeved me out. I got done as fast as I could.

The attitude of people like Logicalmom, who don’t care if it bothers other people is a problem. That you insist your son isn’t a gawker doesn’t reassure me. Who admits their son is a gawker? Your desire to believe that the world is a worst-case-scenario Nancy Grace-athon really doesn’t trump my desire to not have myself or my daughter be made uncomfortable taking care of our business.

Let’s do this, if your son is so old that you wont let him watch YOU take a leak, he’s too old for the ladies room.

I have a six year old son and while I have reached a point where I feel comfortable letting him go into a men’s room alone while I wait outside, I’m not comfortable leaving him alone outside the women’s room in a store if I need to go.

Obviously, I’m in favor of letting boys over kindergarten age use the men’s bathroom alone, but although I think it’s really odd to be planning to follow your teenage son to the bathroom, I’m not sure I think it’s any more sensible to act like the average nine year old boy is dangerous. It’s entirely possible that the boy who was staring was developmentally disabled and that’s why he was in the bathroom with his mom in the first place. If I saw a mom with a nine year old in the ladies’ room, I might roll my eyes a bit internally but I’d try to cut them a bit of slack, you just never know what the situation is. After all these years of having kids and the lack of privacy that entails, the threat of having a strange kid hearing me pee just doesn’t seem like a big deal.

wow , there are some seriously uptight and puritanical mom’s here!

I take my 5 year old into the women’s toilet, and if ANYONE called security on me i would gladly face off with them.

WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME I MUST LEAVE MY CHILD AT AGE 5, ALONE TO USE THE TOILET? He barely wipes himself well enough and frequently needs help. NO ONE, NOT EVEN MALL SECURITY has the power to force such a thing. He always goes directly from stall to sink and out the door, no one has ever complained.

If a daughter is out alone with her father, at what age should she quit going into the mens room? I really find it comical that some people think a bathroom stall gives much privacy. Sometimes the gaps in the stall walls are so great that I don’t feel comfortable being in there with other women. I think my 4 year old is already becoming to sexually aware. I certainly wouldn’t want some one twice his age glancing through the stall crack. I think the proper age depends on the kid, but 5 or 6 should be about it. Whoever said 13-14, is going to cause their child a world of psychological damage. That’s old enough to be masturbating. No 14 year old should be forced to go to the bathroom with his mother! THAT would be abuse!

I’ll throw it out there that I do not feel uncomfortable with a boy of any age (aside from teenage!) escorted by his mom into the ladies room. I would feel uncomfortable sending my little boy into a public bathroom alone, too.

I have a 3 year old daughter. I agree with the last noter– what is the age that she shouldn’t go in the bathroom with my husband in a public setting? She is in no way independent with toileting, especially with a large public bathroom and stall doors (she is way too short, anyway). I wouldn’t assume she could do it on her own until at least age 5? Totally guessing. However, sending her into a mens br with urinals TOTALLY skeeves me out. Barf barf. Talk about pedafiles! Any ideas?

I’m not unsympathetic to people who are worried about the safety of their children. What I find kind of interesting is what we choose to worry about. Whenever a topic like this comes up, there are always a few people who take safety to what seems to me to be ludicrous extremes, but I’ve never heard anyone say they simply stay home as much as humanly possible, which would have the dual advantage of avoiding any bathroom danger at all as well as avoiding the MUCH MORE LIKELY possibility that their child will be injured or killed in a car accident on the way to the family restaurant or amusement park. There seems to be something much scarier about the idea that someone will hurt your kids, as opposed to the idea that your kids will be hurt in a more passive way (in a car crash or other accident, the leading cause of death in post-infancy pre-teen children) even if the chance of the accidental injury is vastly more likely.

You realize that all this is expressing seriously sick hatred against men? As if any random man was going to rape and murder your child in the bathroom. As if men are somehow dangerous and women aren’t. Thank you, Feminism, for making us think other women’s sons are evil predators who will rape and kill our children. Just sick.

When I would take my grandsons to the park, the park without the family restroom, was small enough where I could tell them at age 5 – as I stood right outside of it – to tell me if anyone is in there. They usually needed me to flush (Too noisy) so that was good enough. Once, when 6, one asked me, why do you want to know if anyone is in there grandma? I just sighted a privacy issue!

although my son is only 3 months old, i’ve wondered about how to handle potty breaks when he is older. i’m hoping by the time i’m forced to deal with this issue, more public places will have “family restrooms” like nordstrom does.
my son’s safety and well-being is my first priority and responsibility. if i feel at all unsure about a public restroom, then he will be coming into the women’s restroom, regardless of what other people think.