My fiance wouldn’t become my wife unless I agreed to have kids.
So I decided to have kids :)

I have several friends who knew they wanted to have a child, but kept saying they weren’t ready “just yet”. Waited until they were in their mid 30′s to start trying, then a few years pass & they can’t have a baby without doing very expensive procedures.
We hear of celebrities having children well into their 40′s, but we forget how that isn’t a normal experience for most women. Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule. However generally speaking, if you think you might want one you need to either save your pennies or get on the bus before it’s too late.

I’ve always wanted children. I was making lists of baby names back in middle school. When I got pregnant in college by my abusive boyfriend,however, I knew that I only wanted children with a man who would be a good father…so I did not continue that pregnancy, or the next.

Now I’ve been with my husband for 9 years and have two beautiful children that are the greatest joy in my life.

i never wanted to give birth to children. i even made my husband agree that he really truly seriously wouldn’t feel he was missing out if we were childless people who became foster parents later in life. he agreed. a year later i was caring for my ill grandmother (who at the time we thought was dying, but it turns out she’s doing great now!) and it was very much like caring for a baby except incredibly sad. i looked around at my family of old people and suffered through a few depressing holidays and i thought maybe i should add a new member to my family to brighten up life! i’m due in january and my husband and i couldn’t be happier! my grandmother is going to be a great grandmother soon!

@Lam how can you have a child 3 months after a miscarriage ? r u a rabbit ?
all of you are murderers. overpopulation kills.

Why not use “want, decide, should, always or accidently”. Should no one stay childfree because of those words, either? That is ridiculous. I am tired of the idea that you should only have children for the sake of the future kids and not factor your own well-being into it.

I chose to have a child because I wanted to love, teach, and raise a human being that came from my husband and I. Also, because I hope to have family around when I’m older and see life perpetuate itself, and hopefully have a relationship with an adult child (maybe children, we’ll see).

@Tomer – Haha, you’re right! That would be an incredible feat. What I meant to say, is that 3 months later I became pregnant with my first son.

The selflessness comes into having a baby only if you don’t really want one and do it for your spouse, or your parents, or something.

Or, if you adopt a kid that needs a home, then that can be selfless.

Actually really wanting a child for yourself, and then creating one, is selfish. You’re doing it to satisfy your own need. That’s fine, but you can’t claim that it’s for the kid, because the kid doesn’t exist when you make the decision and wouldn’t suffer if it wasn’t born.

No, I have no children and I decided not to have children. My boyfriend, on the other hand, does want to have children, but when I ask him why he can’t give me a straight answer. I believe he doesn’t have any real, honest-to-God reason for it other than “that’s what you do with someone you love” or “just ‘coz”. If you are worried for the future, why would you add more people to a planet that can’t support so much people? But if you want to have children so that you are not alone when you grow old and there’s someone to love you and take care of you… could you be more selfish please?

Children are not here to be a source of joy for you, and no parenting experience is out of shouting contests and teens slamming doors, kids throwing temper tantrums and having fights over going to bed, taking a morning shower, washing hands or brushing teeth, or the eternal fight over food. It’s not all roses, and the salepitch thrown at us about “parenthood being the highest purpose of one’s life” or “only through parenthood you get to the next level in life, otherwise you’ll forever stay inmature, incomplete and ignorant of the best of life”.

Don’t have children because that’s what you “should do” or “it’s time” or “your own children will make you happy”. Have them because you wish to, and feel ready to be responsible for another human being, because you honestly believe you can aid that person to become the best they can be, you are willing to respect it as a human being even before it can walk or speak. Have it because you are ready and willing to see the person, not the “cute little baby”. Remember that the people you conceive and give birth to, grow up to be just like the person next to you, sitting on the adjacent cubicle or living next door. They are not pets designed to adore you and worship you. Children also could grow up distancing themselves from their parents, or they could be the ones putting their parents in an elderly home. Some may argue that it depends on “how you raise them”, but when it is also said that parenthood is learned on the go, and you will make many mistakes, how do you know, at any point, that you have been doing things right? Children are not a computer you can program, check and reprogram, or rewrite as needed. No second chances there.

So think about it, and remember, you can be childfree, but you can still have fun with your nieces and nephews, or volunteer at child centers, spending your time with kids that could appreciate your time and care without having to fight them into brushing their teeth.

I was sleeping too well, fishing too often and was burdened by my cash reserves.