When Parents Text

The website When Parents Text have a couple of perfect taglines – “small keypad – old hands,” and “so much said…so little understood.” So true, so true.

When Parents Text’s collection of user submitted messages  from mothers and fathers to their sons and daughters are totally and completely hilarious. Like laugh out loud, eyes watering, peeing in your pants funny. So funny that their collection is going offline and is being put into book form which will be released on September 1st.

Check out twenty of their most hilarious submissions right here!

ME:  Do you like my new feather hair extension?
DAD: If you want to attract men toss the feather and tie some bacon in your hair.

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ME: I had a dream last night you thought I was a lesbian haha!
MOM: It wasn’t a dream.

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MOM: I asked your sister what BJ meant she said to ask you.

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MOM: Sitting on the porch. 5/4/2011 3:03 pm TWITTER
ME: What?
MOM: I’m tweeting.
ME: No, actually you’re not. Just because you put twitter at the end of a text message doesn’t mean you are tweeting.
MOM: My daughter sucks. 5/4/2011 3:06pm TWITTER

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Mom: Are you coming home today?
Me: Um…I’m not sure I have to study
Mom: Seriously? It’s not like your studying to be a doctor. Stop screwing around and come home

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DAD: i am bored. have text with me.

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ME: Can I have 7 dollars to get my eyebrows done after school?
MOM: Only if you bring your sister, she looks like a wookie.
MOM: I can’t be seen with her anymore. Children are shreaking.

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ME: I have to say mom, that wasn’t your best outfit yesterday.
MOM: Yeah well at least I’m married and have 4 kids… and a JOB. Don’t take your jealousy out on me.

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MOM: Onion on table is not to eat. I read in a magazine they absorb germs so we won’t get sick. Do not eat it. Un-germy onion in fridge if u want.
ME: okay…but since when would I ever just eat an onion?
MOM: I don’t know what you kids like these days.

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ME: pics of baby evan are up on facebook!
DAD: That’s as good as saying they’re duct taped onto the surface of jupiter!

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ME: Dad! That bookstore I raved about has 4 stacks of women’s studies in a secret upstair room!  I died.
DAD: I am happy for you.  But nerdy daughter, it is Saturday night.  Please go out.

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ME: I am scared to be on the Greyhound by myself :(
DAD: It’s okay honey. Just shout random vegetables and no one will sit next to you.
DAD: Rutebaga!

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DAD: What are you doing?
ME: I’m at Grandma’s house. What do you need?
DAD: I want cookies. Chocolate chip. Get them for me. I will pay.
ME: Ask mom.
DAD: I did. She won’t. Says no. Get cookies please.
ME: I will on my way home.
(10 minutes later)
DAD: Nevermind. Mom found texts. NO COOKIES! ABORT MISSION!
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DAD: Too small. Cant read. what does it say
ME: Flip your screen
DAD: OK. The back of the phone says Galaxy. What does your message say?

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DAD: would ya’ll take me to the itunes store…i don’t know where its located…is it on S. Congress?

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DAD: Got your new tires put on this morning.
ME: Yayy, can’t wait to see them!
DAD: Yes, they’re black and round.

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MOM: FYI: PLZ be careful with shiskabobs. Dogs can swallow them and stab their hearts

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ME: How was your cruise?
MOM: Crappy cruise…old people really old. I was at teh 21 table and one woman died at the roulette. Guess her number was up.

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DAD: Is your index finger longer than your ring finger? If it is, you stand a high chance of getting prostate cancer. Thought you should know. Love you!

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Mom: Can you please call me when you need to be picked up! Don’t do anything stupid! :-)8
ME: What is that emoticon?
MOM: bowtie man! He doesn’t do anything stupid

Image: Flickr

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