I forgot to pay for a cheese grater once. Same scenario. It wasn’t until I got to my car that I realized what had happened. There was no way I was going back with a one year old dangerously close to his nap time. I instead donated the cost of the cheese grater to a local hospice and the karma police were satisfied. Fairway totally over reacted.

What, the kid wasn’t charged as an accessory? Jeez.

I sometimes shoplift this way, trusting that if I get caught, I can play the “oops I am a distracted mom and forgot!” card. I bet she played it the same way.

Totally agree with mistress scorpio about the ‘do they look like hardened criminals’ comment. That bugged me too. What exactly, pray tell, does a hardened criminal look like? This is the same site that comments on women robbing banks with toddler in tow, do they look enough like hardened criminals? Perhaps I’m splitting hairs, I know it wasn’t intended to be that type of comment. Refocussing, try going through this situation when you’re a babywearer! This happened to me when my daughter was about 1. I had the baby on one hip, and holding the basket with the opposite arm. The formula tin got too heavy so I slipped it in the open diaper bag for the walk to the counter, trying to centre the weight a bit better. Security ran over and cut me off on my way to pay and as soon as I saw them (I was homeless as a teenager and have been banned for stealing food from a supermarket. Way to go security, you arrested a 15 year old girl for being too young to access the food bank and starving at 5’8” and 95 pounds, but that’s another story) I knew exactly what was coming, laughed and said ‘Whoops, I clearly should have gone with a cart today. No worries, I haven’t forgotten about it.’ and they smiled and walked aways. Now that, my friends, is how this situation should be handled. On the other hand, I’m sure there are people that do steal beer by these means so I sort of get erring on the side of caution, but it still seems pretty silly to me.

To me, a new mom (who just spent $50+ in groceries) and her toddler are not the typical profile of criminals, no matter their race. White or black has nothing to do with it, but interesting how quickly those thoughts were surmised.

Ah, the “you brought up race, you must be the racist” defense. Predictible. So Danielle, whyn’t you learn us all on the profile of who steals most often from upper west side boutique grocery stores? And leave the toddler out of it, I’m sure the toddler wasn’t banned, just his thieving mom.

Amazing how a conversation about a mom and a baby turns into something completely and utterly off topic. I still ask how many of us moms have done this same type of thing? I know I have (luckily remembered my items in stroller right at check-out), and I still think it was a mass overreaction on the part of the security guards. Could have very easily been rectified with a “Miss you have some items in your stroller basket”, rather than make a public spectacle. Anyone who has had a cranky toddler and is trying to get home in a busy store can relate. Why jump to conclusions?

Per usual, I’ll ignore the troll.
The issue is with your caption and is very much on topic. I’m not the only one who took issue, so why don’t you address it rather than try for the smooth redirect? Grocery stores provide shopping carts and your stroller is not one. How hard is that to understand? According to the article, she stole beer, Red Bull and milk. There are other stores within blocks of that location, but she’s so “embarrassed” she took her case to the esteemed pages of the New York Post. Puh-leeze

Ignore what you can’t address or refuse to, I understand ; ) Ta!

Beer, milk and red bull are all too heavy to hold in hand basket while pushing a stroller- makes sense to me. I can see how it could have been a purely honest mistake.
And seriously, how you equate ‘hardened criminal’ with race is disturbing. My point was a new mom and a baby are not your typical criminals- how difficult is that to understand? Still, we all see what we want in any given situation, and if that if what you see….well, to each her own.

Pretty huge assumptions there Mistress, and nope, you’re totally wrong. I would have assumed innocence, perhaps naively, on a new mom of any race or financial bracket in this circumstance if she was buying $50 worth of groceries and had forgotten a couple of items in the stroller. How can you be so sure she stole? Surely you’re projecting guilt. Why assume she was guilty rather than a mom in a hurry who was trying to calm her child? It’s funny how you say if she was a Latina woman, I’d do no such thing. Maybe you should have stopped to consider the fact that I am a Latina woman myself….talk about mass generalizations.

You think bias doesn’t happen when one is of the same background? That’s almost sweetly naive. “Projecting guilt,” really, I could play a game of bingo with the old tropes you’re trotting out under the guise of actual arguments. I wish you luck with more conscious writing in the future. A start would be aiming higher than transcribing a rag like the Post.

@Mistress I don’t think that video showed much of anything. I do find it interesting that the store says they could have worked it out with her if she called and explained her mistake rather than go to the press and threaten to sue. Hey, perhaps I’m “sweetly naive” but I’d take that any day over jaded.
@Peggy I couldn’t agree more!

Yeah, people intentionally shoplift via stroller all.the.time. People unintentionally shoplift via stroller or kid all.the.time, too. I think it’s fair to trust the store’s determination of which one this was, especially since she’s not even charged, just banned from that particular store. It’s up to Fairway to determine whether her stealing or forgetting makes her no longer a customer worth having.

Danielle, how would this woman have to look or speak for you to determine that the security guard who was actually there was right in her judgment?

Years ago, I went pants shopping for my husband at the now-defunct Filene’s Basement. It was the middle of winter, but the store was so overheated and I was so warmly dressed that in the middle of looking for pants, I took off my long woolen coat and slung it over my arm. Filenes was weird in that it had an exit that went right to the subway, and after paying for the 5 pairs of pants I had found for him, I went right into the subway without putting on my coat. It wasn’t until I was 2 stops away from home that I put on my coat and to my dismay, realized that I had 3 more pairs of pants hanging on my arm. I could have totally been arrested for shoplifting, it would have looked exactly like a classic case of shoplifting, even though I wasn’t intending to steal anything. I felt like a complete moron, which of course I WAS. Let me say that it had been a really, really long work day and I was tired, but since that experience I always check everywhere whenever I check out in a store no matter how tired I am. The next day I brought the pants back to the store and gave them to the clerk at the customer service booth, explaining what I had inadvertently done and apologizing for my mistake. The clerk looked at me and said, “Why did you bring them back?” Fail. I may be a moron at times, but at least I’m honest.

She’s not a total new mom. Her baby is 20 months old. She should be a pro at shopping. I think Fairway did the right thing in banning her for life.

This is a fucked up world we living in.

I think it’s completely understandable. I don’t know why everyone is so upset about it. Sheesh! Some people are more forgetful than others. I know a mom who bought groceries, put her kids in the car, drove home, and then realized she forgot all the groceries in the cart and had to go back. We all have our moments :)