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Step Away From The Camera: Are Moms Obsessed With Capturing “The Moment” Actually Missing The Moment?
With some trepidation, I read the recent Babble article by Holly Pevzner Picture Perfect? Could your photo obsession ruin family memories?. I felt guilty just thinking about it because I do carry my camera around more often than not. My children’s lives are well-documented through my blog and photos- via my DSLR and/or iPhone. (That those said photos have yet to be printed and only remain on my computer in many folders is another story.)
Holly wrote, “While I still desperately want my boys to be able to look through photo albums of their childhood and feel a deep sense of love and family, I also want them to remember that I ran into the cold Maine surf right beside them, that I danced the night away with them in my arms at their auntie’s wedding, and that I simply sat with them while they talked about cars and firemen and bugs. That I did not leave them to grab my camera — no matter how adorable they looked.”
I want that, too, and am trying to be better about putting the camera down. I struggle with it because I get so much enjoyment out of taking photos of my kids and then later editing and posting them. It’s kind of an art, or hobby. My camera has even been a tool I’ve used to “be” more in the moment. I’ll see something through the view finder that I didn’t notice before. I’ll snap a few quick shots and then put my camera away for the rest of the day. And often we’ll go on more creative adventures to places with good photo opportunities that we probably wouldn’t have gone to before.
I definitely find the more intentional and selective I am about the photos I take, better is the quality of the pictures and the moment. I understand for some moms this isn’t the case and maybe they are more obsessed with getting the picture JUST RIGHT. If that is you, maybe you can try weaning yourself off the lens for a couple outings, and even a whole day building up to a week at a time? See if that helps.
No matter if it’s picture-taking or checking email on your phone or watching a show or reading a book or whatever activity it might be that pulls you from being present at an important time with your family, it’s good to work on setting those things aside. But it’s also totally okay to do the things you enjoy for yourself when the time is right. I can still snap a few awesome shots real quick but need to remember to use it as an accessory and not the focus of my attention. But also, not every single moment that I am with my kids is sacred. Basically, I’m trying to find that balance of enjoying my hobby while remaining respectful to my children.
Give yourself (and others) some credit. You’ll know if it’s becoming an obsession and something you need to reign in. And if it is, then do it now and don’t wait until it’s too late because those moments are beautiful and fleeting. As a mom of a ten year old! I can speak from experience. The memory will always mean much more than the photograph.
Tech Intervention: Does your “phone addiction” make you a bad parent?
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6 Comments
Carolyn Vaughn commented on Jul 28 11 at 12:03 pmSometimes we forget to take pictures of the person who is the “family photographer.” That’s probably why we don’t have many pix of my dad. It is so nice to go back and look at the pictures of the family doing things together, each Christmas, birthday, vacation. All the others at the event or unable to be there
will enjoy seeing the snapshots you’ve taken. An important thing to do is write down the names of the people in the pictures and what the event is. Your genealogists in the family will really appreciate it.
tracey - justanothermommy commented on Jul 29 11 at 10:03 amI often will hand my camera to my husband and say “you do the pictures so everyone knows I was here, too.” I love taking shots, but don’t feel that I obsess over them. I just shoot till I’m done and then edit them later on. If I get a great shot, awesome. But it’s mostly about taking pictures, not masterpieces.
Bridget commented on Jul 29 11 at 11:23 amI agree. I think some people are so concerned with getting the shot right, that they step out of the moment. But I think I’m pretty good about seamlessly grabbing the camera and clicking off a few shots and putting it back down. I’m not typically one to say “Susie! Johnny! Hey! Y’all look at me and smile.” And so in a lot of shots my kids aren’t looking at me or the camera and sometimes they don’t even notice I have the camera out. I kinda like it that way. :-)
Kate commented on Jul 29 11 at 12:21 pmMy mom is the camera hog. I tell her all the time to put the camera down and just enjoy her grandbabies. That being said, I’ve learned to actually take pictures when my kids do something that makes me angry. Looking through the lens seems to put the situation in perspective. And I have some funny pictures of the disasters they create!
Melissa commented on Jul 29 11 at 5:18 pmI struggle with this almost every day. Wondering if by taking pictures I am missing the moment that is actually happening. Or that I am too occupied with taking pictures and now being present. It really hit me when I noticed it seems I am not in any pictures. When we go places as a family it is always my son & husband…because of course who would take the picture if I didn’t. Over the last 6 months I have made an effort to get out from behind the camera. It has meant less pictures of what we are doing, I have noticed I am enjoying just being with my son and husband not focusing on taking the pictures every little thing.
Kelly V. commented on Aug 01 11 at 12:43 pmI’m glad to hear I’m not the only one! I love getting caught up in the moment, taking it all in… but so often I feel like I’m just glued to the camera and missing it all! Especially when we’re driving – I’ve made a rule that I won’t take pictures out the car window anymore. They never come out any good (operator error I’m sure) AND I’m also missing all of the gorgeous sights to see that are whizzing past me!
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