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Do You Swear at Your Kids? Mom Admits Swearing at Her Kids… Sort Of.
Do you swear at your kids?
Do you swear at your kids? In front of your kids? One mom blogger is admitting that she swears at her kids. Well, kind of. Sort of.
Not really.
But she thinks f-bombs and other assorted colorful language, even if she never says it… and admits that it really takes the edge off.
Scary Mommy wrote a blog post called “F**k You, Kids,” which opens with “I swear at my kids,” boils down the curse words, and makes mention that this is all actually happening internally.
Scary Mommy argues that “by thinking these awful things, I keep myself from actually saying anything terrible to them. Which, I argue, would be far worse.”
Naturally, her blog post is drawing criticism.
Is it okay to just think about cursing your kids out – but never really following through? Or is keeping those negative thoughts inside some wake up call that you have some sort of anger issues bubbling beneath the surface?
With the popularity of “Go the F**k to Sleep” and the mostly positive reception the book has received, I have to imagine that a lot of parents practice this internal cursing as a way of maintaining sanity.
I definitely have thought of the f-bomb in my head or muttered a saucy little curse word while doing laundry and out of earshot of the kids.
I’d argue “who hasn’t done this,” but clearly there are people with those sunny dispositions who can keep everything in check or who don’t have ever utter curse words. It happens.
For the most part though, I think a lot of us can relate.
Just recently, my husband commented (away from the kids, of course) that our kids were “kind of being assholes.” Does that mean we love them any less? No. But we had a fun little giggle over the comment and vented for a moment before diving back into the parenting game.
Is this silent venting technique okay to add to the parental survival guide? Or do you think it’s wrong?
It reminds me of a Tina Fey quote, where she jokes that swearing at kids is okay because “I think that any person being an a** hole deserves it. Especially toddlers — they’re total d-bags. You gotta let them know.”
Related: I let my 4-year-old swear, and I’m okay with it.
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7 Comments
Andrea commented on Jul 26 11 at 10:06 amI don’t swear AT my kids, but I do swear in front of them. Especially when all of mom’s girlfriends are over for a wine and tapas night! I also let them know that just as there are foods that only adults eat (chile peppers), drinks that only adults can have (beer, wine), there are also words that only adults can use. Cussing is kind of an art form in the town where I live. A lot of it is just plain old funny.
mrg commented on Jul 26 11 at 3:50 pmIs: “Get you ass in here and pick up this mess you just made.” considered swearing at your kid?
Angelica commented on Jul 26 11 at 9:34 pmI agree with Andrea. My oldest (5) knows that she’s not near old enough to do certain things, and yes, I swear in front of my kids. Excuse me if having a blowout on a highway or having something hot spill on my foot puts me on edge. Hey, my 2-year-old has tantrums all the time can’t Mommy throw a teensy one too? =)
Jenna commented on Jul 26 11 at 11:55 pmI’m with Andrea and Angelica, I don’t swear at my kids but I do occasionally swear in front of them. I don’t think it’s the biggest issue in the world for one, and it brings up the issue of how some things are ok in one setting and not in others. There are things that are appropriate at home or with friends that are not ok when we’re at grandma’s or talking to the nice man who works at the grocery store.
Samantha at ShesNotBroken commented on Jul 27 11 at 12:58 am@ MRG, you just brought back lots of childhood memories! With Kid 1, we found generally, if we didn’t make a big deal out of the occasional f-bomb, it took away the novelty of it. This time? We have a cat who only answers to Goddammit (thanks, Grandpa). We’re not getting around it.
heather commented on Jul 27 11 at 3:13 pmI think we all curse at them in our heads sometimes. And I think it’s healthy. Studies show that cursing helps us deal with pain…so why wouldn’t it help relieve stress, too? As long as we never VERBALLY direct this kind of language AT our kids, I think it’s fine. And cursing around them is okay, too – as long as you teach them when it’s okay and when it’s not.
Sanriobaby =^.^= commented on Jul 27 11 at 4:38 pmThinking about cursing kids out isn’t that nice, but it’s a way one can cope with stresses of parenthood. It’s another thing to curse in front of your kids, and even though that isn’t most parents first choice, sometimes it happens. But it’s never okay to curse AT your kids b/c it’s extremely disrespectful and demeaning to them. I find that type of language towards children very emotionally abusive. Parents who curse out thier kids are ignorant abusive bullies.
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