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Strollerderby
How A Maddening Mom Moment Can Become A Treasured Memory

Lucy looked somewhat like this in her better days but is now bald, without eyebrows, and has a detached body ... and we still have her!
My house is in transition, and it’s been for about a year now as we renovate and update the kids’ rooms. We bought the house two years ago and immediately my husband wanted to redo, well, everything. He’s a hands-on fixer upper and a perfectionist so while the end result is outstanding and worth waiting for (he works on the house in between his demanding job), it can frustrating while the work is in progress. My son’s toys are literally everywhere until his room gets done. So there is a bin in the living room, a three-drawer plastic container in our bedroom, and countless other games, cards, and figures everywhere in between. On my way to an important meeting, I was fumbling around looking for a stray shoe when I stumbled over one of his Pokemon plushes. Then I started talking to myself. ‘This place is a mess. I need this house done. I can’t stand these toys everywhere.’ It was great rant alright.
So I chuckled to myself when I read Ellen Seidman’s piece on the Maddening Moments of Momhood.
She captured all those moments that drive us collectively crazy as parents.
Her first moment was playroom clean-up which is exactly what has been driving me out of my mind this past week. I honestly do feel as though I pick up toys constantly, so much so that it has become an action as basic as breathing, so while I’m walking through any given room, I’m collecting toy or pieces of toys, missing parts, lost socks, etc…. I barely realize I am doing it since it my kids’ belonging are jumbled throughout the house as we renovate.
She touched on other parts of motherhood that were so on target, I felt like she knew me, especially the part about when your child has an object of obsession. My daughter Katelyn had a Barbie doll she named Lucy. She was a brunette with very long hair that Katelyn would twirl with her skinny little finger when she was falling asleep or riding along in her stroller. Very quickly, Lucy became an addition to the family. And if Lucy got lost, ever, no one had any peace.
Unfortunately, Lucy got lost quite a few times. My adorable (and mischievous) nephew, who is ten years older than Katelyn got into the habit of hiding Lucy when he visited. After he left, we’d call him up and ask him if he saw Lucy. Instead of saying exactly where he left her, he’d give us clues, like Lucy could use a sweater right now (i.e. fridge), or Lucy felt like reading (bookshelf, of course!). Katelyn got frustrated at first but then enjoyed playing the game of calling Michael to locate her trusted friend, Lucy.
On the rare occasions that we lost Lucy for real, we were in trouble. One day we left her at Grandma’s house and had to go back to get her just so Katelyn would sleep that night. Luckily, she lived in the neighborhood. Lucy also became known in our neighborhood, too. Many of the cashiers and store managers would ask Katelyn how Lucy was doing on a regular basis.
My oldest daughter Amanda, somehow convinced her little sister to cut all of Lucy’s hair off, so for the last year or so of Lucy being Katelyn’s must-have pal, she was semi-bald. Then one day Katelyn tugged too hard on Lucy’s head and it came right off and wouldn’t stay on. Instead of getting upset Katelyn began to carry the loose head around with her.
Katelyn is now 13, Amanda in college, and Michael is a grown adult, and some of the most special times we have now is when we reflect on the antics of Lucy. I try to remember that now when I am stepping on my son’s stray toys.
The days when my floors will be covered in toys at all are just flying by as my youngest gets older, and when I stop to realize that, the chaotic household we live in seems not only comfy, but perfect.
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5 Comments
Andrea commented on Jul 16 11 at 11:06 amNone of my three children ever had a “thing” they were attached to and needed to feel secure or calm. They had me. In our house, things are just things, and they don’t really matter all that much. But people are incredibly important. All three of my children are very different in terms of temperment and personality, yet none are attached to things. I wonder if this is a by-product of successful attachment parenting. I can’t imagine having to spend half my life searching for a half-bald Barbie doll because an insipid piece of plastic was critical to my child’s sense of well-being. How does that happen?
Manjari commented on Jul 17 11 at 11:18 amI can’t imagine growing up to be unpleasant and rude, and bragging about ridiculous stuff all the time, Andrea. How does that happen?
Chloe commented on Jul 17 11 at 12:23 pmWow… lots of kids have transitional comfort objects. My son doesn’t and I figured he just wasn’t as interested in toys or blankets as he is in people and playground equipment. Never occurred to me that I should take credit for my child’s natural instincts. Maybe that’s because I’m secure enough in my parenting choices not to turn every parenting article I read into 50 rounds of I’m-a-Perfect-Mommy-and-everyone-else-falls-short. Andrea, keep a sweater handy. It must get chilly up on that pedestal!
SNSinNC commented on Jul 18 11 at 9:18 amIn our house, it’s “bear and kitty” (blanket with a bear head and a stuffed kitty). First it was just bear, then he added kitty, now he needs “bear, kitty and blanket” to sleep. We live in terror of adding to the menagerie, because he has his little hands full – he can’t eat or drink when he’s hauling everyone around :) My husband bought a spare kitty – different color, we no it’s no use replacing lovies – to keep in the car as his “car kitty.” But it’s super important that he never see the kitties together, or he’ll start calling for both of them to get any sleep. :) It’s so funny – and such an expression of his personality – to see what he chooses. These are not the toys I would have chosen for him to get attached to, but he had his own mind about it (the kitties are frankly a little cheap – we never thought he’d get so fond of them). I try to remember that when we’re desperately combing the house for bear and kitty before bedtime.
Bunnytwenty commented on Jul 18 11 at 10:52 amAndrea’s gonna follow her kids to college, do their laundry, and wipe their butts, too. Because they’re securely attached!
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