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Strollerderby
Moms Night Out Might Make You More, Not Less, Stressed Out
Venting to friends only makes the stress of failure worse. Who knew?
Want to feel better about your faltering marriage, out-of-control children, desperate finances or crazy work place? You’ll want to skip monthly venting sessions during Moms Night Out.
A new study has found that, especially for Type A personalities, venting and — get this, social support! — left those who are stressed out still feeling stressed out.
Also on the unhelpful list: substance abuse. There goes margarita night!
Venting as a coping mechanism just doesn’t work, it turns out. Though it might feel good getting aggressive over imagined people and inanimate objects, you’re not actually purging the negativity, just giving it another round. Venting to a friend might actually make you feel worse about a setback or a failure, exactly the opposite of what you might want to get out of a round of boss-bashing.
But don’t cancel regular get-togethers with friends. They can still be part of coping strategies that do work. Researchers found participants in the study, type A students who feel setbacks acutely, rebounded better with positive reframing, acceptance and humor about just what went wrong.
So instead of regular venting sessions with your favorite complainer, surround yourself with funny optimists. See if it makes a difference.
This research on venting will be published in the upcoming issue of Anxiety, Stress & Coping.
Are you a venter? Or do you laugh it off?
Photo: markcph via flickr
Take my advice…or not: 10 Places Parents Don’t Need Your Advice!
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2 Comments
bob commented on Jul 15 11 at 8:29 amTellingly, it looks like nobody wanted to vent about this.
joanie commented on Jul 15 11 at 11:30 amI am so glad to read this! I’ve suspected venting does damage — especially when it’s a girls’ night out with my friends venting about our husbands. I feel like I end up home afterward with a perfected (and supremely justified) script in my head about why he’s absolutely wrong about whatever the heck it is. Seriously, I’m going to knock that crap off ASAP.
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