I don’t have a problem with little girls playing dress-up, wearing nail polish or getting make-up put on for fun. In fact-I love playing “beautyshop” with my 5-year-old neices and I’m sure I’ll do the same with my girl when she is older. However, I would not pay to take my little girl to have this done. We can do those sorts of things at home, for practically free.
My opinion on the bitty-beauty pagents…creepy. Those little girls don’t even look like little girls! They look like miniature teenagers. I can’t see myself ever, ever, ever doing that with my little girl. I want her to see herself as beautiful without being spray-tanned, hair-sprayed, glittered or sequined.

Fundamentally, I agree with you, and I appreciate your acknowledgement that there are shades of gray here. I think one of the questions to ask ourselves is whether we are following the lead and the interests of our girls or whether we are (knowingly or unknowingly) leading them to the trough and expecting them to drink. Are the really little ones really asking for makeovers and manicures or do we think it’s cute and are our reactions pressuring them to please us? And by the same token, are we responding as eagerly when they ask to climb a tree or throw a ball? I agree with you that pink toes on a three-year-old can be just that, and just fun. I also think an awareness of the larger implications is helpful to have, just to keep ourselves in check.

there is a huge difference in the make up or nails or hair they do at a salon for fun and what they would do for a pageant. Just like there is also a difference in what would be done makeup wise for a dance recital and a pageant. I dont agree with a “full glitz” pageant but I also have no problem with encouraging my daughter to embrace feeling “pretty” if it makes her happy. It makes me happy to be dressed up so why shouldn’t it make her feel good as well? Just because I encourage her to play dress up, have her nails painted to match mine, or prance around the room in a tutu doesn’t mean I don’t also encourage her to be intelligent, or tough, or her own person.

I think that a salon like that’s designated purpose is harmless fun. Of course there are always going to be whack job stage moms who ruin it for everyone, but I think a cutesy little girl salon, in itself, is adorable. My friend owns/runs one on Long Island. They do little “BFF mani/pedi’s” and princess birthday parties. They are booked solid all the time and the pictures I’ve seen are adorable and innocent as can be. I don’t believe in *pushing* a girl to be stereo typically girly, but I also don’t believe in frowning on the urge if a little girl happens to like “girly” things. Little girls loving painted nails and even dressing up in play makeup with their friends is nothing new.

I think so many mom’s get this wrong. It’s like it has to be one way, or no way. I agree with what Surviving Five said. Pushing your kids to be pretty or tough is of course wrong. Let your kids find out who they want to be. There is nothing, however, wrong with a salon that caters to little girls wanting to play dress up, get their nails and toes done along with hair, and (God forbid) probably spray glitter and a little makeup. How is that any different than the batting cages, boxing ring, skating club, etc for little boys? Both places make each sex feel a certain way. How many moms are up in arms about those? My daughter started going with me to get a little girl ‘pedi’ at the ‘big girl nail place’ when she was 3. She sits in the chair next to me and has her toes painted while I have mine done. We have a blast…then we go home and pull weeds out of the flower garden or she plays in the sandbox with her brother. My point is that being ‘pretty’ isn’t a bad thing for a little girl to learn about. I think these places are great. It’s what the parents instill in their daughters about what being ‘pretty’ means.

I wouldn’t take my daughter to a special salon, however, I go occasionally to get my nails done, and I usually let my daughter get hers painted too when I go – it’s one of the best ways I’ve found to get her to sit still and wait for a long period of time – she’s so afraid of mussing her pretty new nails. She’s four, by the way. The other thing about getting her nails done is we live in Korea where the nail techs are amazingly talented and paint the cutest little pictures on her nails – like little works of art. They can do familiar characters like hello kitty or just flowers, trees, and butterflies, but it’s the kind of thing you probably will never get as an adult. A four year old with little ladybugs on all her nails is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s not a proper manicure, by the way – they don’t do cuticles or buff or any of the stuff they do to me – they just paint these little masterpieces on her – and it’s only ten bucks! I think it’s win-win.