We still often have “sleepovers”. It can be fun! Sometimes he’ll come hang out in “my room” and we talk way more than we ever did before when we’d just go to bed. We’re about to move to a new house, though and plan on starting off in the same bedroom… I’ll let you know how it goes…

My husband and I do on occasion sleep separated. We dont do it all the time, but we have found that even just a few nights a week apart is good for us. It gives us both time to be just us, and then the nights we are able to share a room its almost like having an affair with your significant other. We have three young children so we dont get mcuh time as it is, and we become very frustrated with each other. So nights when things are rough we try to find comfort in each other, and nights when things are more settle then we sleep separate. We have been together 8 years, and in these 8 years we have found this is the best way for our marriage to stay strong, and we find it easier to communicate as well. I suggest all couples to give it a try, what can you lose to try it a few nights. If you think its not working then go back to your usual, if so then keep it going.

Wow! For couples who find that it works to sleep separate, good for you! It’s probably vastly improving your sleep quality which helps you be better to each other later. As for my husband and myself, this would never work. I sleep terribly when I’m alone, and so does he. It probably helps that neither of us during our childhood slept in isolated rooms and basically neither of us have slept solo for any extended period of time.

Maybe it works for some but my husband and I much prefer to sleep next to each other. When either of us goes out of town without the other, it’s much harder to sleep well… even if it is nice to sleep diagonal and sprawled all over the bed, its still not as comfy as the spoon.

We’ve been sleeping apart since 2006, and our marriage is doing really well! It started because my husband was snoring a lot, and since I was pregnant at the time, I *needed* sleep. Then it was because our newborn son was in the room with me, and my husband needed sleep for his 12 hour a day job. Then it just became more convenient all around because of our different schedules, since my husband works noon to midnight and I was up early in the morning with our son. I really like arrangement because we get our own space and time to ourselves, something we’re used to being only children, so I don’t feel as overwhelmed having my son all over me all day.

We sort of do it too. My husband is a snorer. He’s honky, snorty, moany, groany and I swear he talks to me to wake me up when he can’t sleep but when I get upset, he says he wasn’t talking to me or trying to wake me!! Seriously? Then why must you speak out loud in the middle of the night? I sleep waaaayyy better without him. I have auto immune issues and need my sleep so it seem to be what is working for us right now. We’ll see how it goes.

You could have your own territory without sleeping in it. My bookbinding studio is my own room in our house where nobody ventures without my say-so (it’s the only place that cat can’t go) It’s not reciprocal, because we don’t have that much space and he works outside the home while I work from home. But if he did have his own room, I think it’d containt a computer he can play shoot-em-up games out loud on, and a workbench to take electronics apart and put them back together on, rather than a bed. I’m a major fan of people doing whatever works for them to get the kind of sleep they need, but that doesn’t have to be the same question as how to share your space.

Logicalmama, has your guy had a sleep study? While an even, rhythmic snore is just annoying, what you describe might be more than that — weird snoring is a major indicator of sleep apnea, which can be serious.

We just bought our house last year and one of my requirements was that it have enough rooms for us all to have our own bedroom.

I have always had a terrible time getting to sleep, and could never sleep well with another person next to me moving around and shaking the bed or snoring. The separate bedroom arrangement has been a lifesaver.
I work in the evening and I’m always up late trying to get my toddler and baby to sleep, and their most solid sleep time is from 4-7am. My husband needs to go to bed early and wakes up early to go to work. Now he can get to sleep at a reasonable hour, and we don’t get woken up by him getting ready in the morning (or pushing the snooze button like 5 times before actually getting up, Gah!)
It has definitely worked out well for us, now I don’t lie awake wanting to smother my husband with a pillow for snoring just as the baby is nodding off. If Mama’s tired and grouchy- everyone suffers