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Note to Media: Elizabeth Smart Was Never Anyone’s “Wife”
Brian David Mitchell, Child Molester
Like everyone else with whom I’ve ever discussed the Elizabeth Smart case, as years pass and the crimes against her are finally being adjudicated in the courtroom, I find myself ever more impressed with this young woman’s quiet confidence, strength and composure. At yesterday’s sentencing of the vile man who kidnapped 14-year-old Elizabeth Smart nine years ago, raped her repeatedly, and violently abused her in a wide variety of other ways, she once again stood tall, spoke clearly, and showed herself to be an advocate for all sexual assault victims.
And that’s what Elizabeth Smart is. She’s a victim of multiple violent rapes at the hands of a sadist named Brian David Mitchell. Which is why I am so irritated every time I see yet another media report referring to Elizabeth Smart as having been coerced into a “marriage,” or discussing how she was forced to become Mitchell’s “wife.”
Elizabeth Smart was not ever in a “marriage,” nor was she ever anyone’s “wife.” Furthermore, the freaky and abusive pre-rape ritual she endured just hours after she was kidnapped at knifepoint – a ritual in which Mitchell’s actual wife, a very sick adult woman named Wanda Barzee also participated – was not a “wedding.’”
Just because a rapist wants to call his abuse of a child “marriage,” or refer to the victim as his “wife,” does not mean that the media should adopt that language in describing the crimes committed. It’s one thing to say that the criminal who assaulted Elizabeth Smart erroneously referred to her as his “wife” during her time in his captivity, but it’s wrong for reporters to simply parrot the language of Brian David Mitchell without qualifiers. Calling sexual slavery “marriage” minimizes and softens the horror of the crime and suggests some level of willingness or complicity on the part of the victim.
Elizabeth Smart is a lot of things – smart, brave, and self-assured come to mind – but she is not, nor has she ever been anyone’s “wife.”
Read about Demi Moore’s DNA Foundation efforts against sexual slavery.
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Note to the media: Elizabeth Smart was never this man’s “wife” | | mamapunditmamapundit commented on May 26 11 at 10:00 amMonica Bielanko commented on May 26 11 at 10:48 amI completely agree. How bizarre that the media is perpetuating his horrible crimes by calling her that. But then again, it is the media. The “wife” angle makes it a juicier story… and that’s how the media rolls.
Alesa commented on May 26 11 at 10:50 amI’ve always admired Elizabeth and her family, too. I’m pretty sure the media does that because it’s more sensational and grabs more eyes than using the correct phraseology. Yes, it’s annoying.
Claire R commented on May 26 11 at 11:15 amKatie, I am so glad you are speaking out about this. I am infuriated by the perpetuation of the abuse. At what point are abuse victims going to stop being further abused by collective thinking? Elizabeth Smart is the victim…not the wife.
I have a friend whose daughter was beaten and bitten by her husband. BITTEN! All over her back. He broke her nose. When he was done, HE called the police and said she had hit him. The police came to the house, arrested her, and she has gone to court. The D.A. refers to him as the “victim.” She has bruises all over, and a broken nose. He did not have a mark on him. She is victimized again.
The whole situation is twisted.
Spelling commented on May 26 11 at 12:40 pmWhy do you always spell erroneously incorrectly? No “i” in that word!!!
JDCyrus commented on May 26 11 at 1:06 pm“Erroneously” is the wrong word. It makes it sound like the guy was misinformed, or something.
Katie Allison Granju commented on May 26 11 at 2:09 pmYeah – the spelling on that one gets me every time. Correcting ;-)
And JDCyrus, you are also correct that “erroneously” doesn’t quite nail what I am trying to convey. So help me out, what is the adjective I’m looking for? Manipulatively? Delusionally?
-Katie
Shandra commented on May 26 11 at 3:03 pmThank you. Also, a brilliant fictional book around this kind of thing, for those interested, is Room. It’s also one of the best books about a mother-son relationship ever.
Amy commented on May 26 11 at 3:17 pmKatie – Excellent post (no matter how things are spelled).
Keep pokin’ a stick at it,
Amy
Claire R commented on May 26 11 at 4:58 pmCalculatingly? Deliberately? How about maliciously? Manipulatively also works. How about “With malice aforethought?”
Melissa commented on May 26 11 at 7:00 pmWell said, Katie.
Heather F. commented on May 26 11 at 7:44 pmEveryone should read Jon Krakauer’s Under the Banner of Heaven to learn more about the religious beliefs that underlie Mr. Mitchell’s crime. Extremely enlightening and disturbing book.
jzzy55 commented on May 26 11 at 7:54 pmI think the use of the word /wife/ has to do with the non-mainstream LDS multiple wife titillation factor. That sells newspapers (and TV shows) when put front and center. I doubt if anyone sane actually thinks ES was this psycho’s “wife.” But it sounds nasty and sexually bizarre, doesn’t it? Plenty of sizzle even if there is absolutely no steak.
Julia commented on May 26 11 at 9:24 pmTo be honest, I haven’t seen this in the NY Times. I just looked to be sure, and… nope.
Lesson: Stop reading USA Today!
Alesa commented on May 26 11 at 10:02 pm“Wife” is a “misnomer” for the situation. Or the word “sensationally” could be used.
shari commented on May 27 11 at 12:57 amI couldn’t agree more Katie. It is heinous that they refer to their relationship as a marriage because it never was. That man is sick and so is his wife. A poor little girl suffered at the hands of this monster.
I hope justice is served and he never sees the day of light again.
susan commented on May 28 11 at 11:22 pmThe man is a swarm! UGH.
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