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Moms Who Bleach Their Kids’ Hair: Epic Fail
Gwen Stefani and a very fashion forward Kingston Rossdale
Every time I see a photo of Gwen Stefani’s unbelievably adorable son, Kingston, I cringe a little.
What’s with the bleach?
I understand it’s Gwen’s trademark (although I don’t understand how she’s not bald by now) but why does a little boy need bleached hair? I’m pretty sure she’s been bleaching Kingston’s hair since the little guy was barely 2-years-old.
I don’t fancy myself judgmental, I’m not the finger-wagging type and generally subscribe to the theory that one should mind one’s business when it comes to the raising of children – but bleaching a toddler’s hair, what is that about? And don’t give me any crap about how Kingston wants his hair like that. Ain’t no 2-year-old that I know asking mama to give him Marilyn Monroe blond. And even if Kingston, or any child, is a precocious fashion maven at the tender age of two, it’s up to parents to draw the line. My toddler likes to experiment with my lipstick but I don’t line her lips, top it off with gloss and take her out on the town. Why? Because A – it sends her a very wrong message and B – it’s just plain creepy.
Really, this isn’t about Kingston at all. This is entirely about Gwen and her reputation as a cutting edge designer and rock chick; Kingston’s simply another accessory, just like her platform shoes and red lipstick.
So what about other very young children I see with bleached hair? Yup, it’s all about their parents too. You’ve got these tiny kids, dressed to the nines in Converse All-Stars, skinny jeans and the perfect t-shirt with bleached hair. All that screams to me is mom and dad are WAY too concerned about image and are using their children as accessories to better display their cool factor.
Sure, we all dress our kids in ways that please us, but they have to wear something, don’t they? They don’t HAVE TO have blond hair. Dragging a kid to a salon or into your bathroom at home and slathering chemicals onto their hair is another matter entirely. Dare I say it makes me think it’s something Hitler would do if his kids turned out brunette, which, considering his hair color, would’ve been a very distinct possibility. I know, I know, you’re going to give me grief for the Hilter anecdote, but seriously, people! Bleaching a tiny child’s hair is jacked up and the fact that so many people think it’s “cute” or “adorable” freaks me out. Either I am officially old and out of touch or society really is that messed up. I don’t know which one I’m hoping for.
We’d all cluck our tongues at the moms who bleach their daughters’ hair for those abominations that pass as beauty pageants, right? So what’s the difference when you bleach you kid’s hair for kicks? And no, I don’t care if your child is six and is old enough to ask you if they can bleach their hair. What are we doing to our children? What are we teaching our children? To change their appearance to impress society? It’s a slippery slope from a little hair bleach to Botox for kids.
It’s all in fun, you say. It’s only hair, you say. Would you feel the same way if Kingston were a girl? I daresay the world would gasp in horror if some middle America mama were bleaching her 3-year-old daughter’s hair, curling it to high hell and parading her around the local Walmart. What kind of values is that mom teaching her daughter, we’d all wonder? So why is it different and “cute” as I’ve heard some people say, for a boy?
I will say this: I’m on the fence about hair color for kids old enough to ask for it. Not a total change of hair color but if my daughter turns eight or nine and wants to put a purple streak in her hair for fun, I’d have to think about it but I’d probably say yes. I’m all about self-expression when it’s the expression of self and not the expression of some toddler’s wacky parents, looking to impress the world with their astounding fashion sense.
What about you? What do you think about moms who bleach their kids’ hair? Does the gender of the child make you feel differently even though it’s a double-standard? Do you, like me, feel like hair color is slightly different?
Image: Prphotos.com
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Best Of Babble | Beauty, Motherhood, Sisterhood & Family commented on May 30 11 at 12:23 pmgoddess commented on May 17 11 at 5:26 pmI’m in total agreement with you. I’m the mean mom who won’t let my 12 yr old DD color/highlight/streak her hair- not until high school at least!
Kate commented on May 17 11 at 5:27 pmThis never really bothered me. Probably because it’s always done far from his scalp. I wouldn’t do it, but I’m not up in arms about it.
Andrea commented on May 17 11 at 6:35 pmWell, I’m not convinced she’s bleaching his hair. My three little blondies look exactly like that at the end of the summer. The tips of their hair are white white white, and the new undergrowth is darker. My nine year old has not cut her hair for four years (her choice), and the lower half of her hair is platinum blonde. I pay a lot of money at the salon to achieve what she has just because she was born blonde. Blonde hair on children can go very light just from sun and swimming pools.
Diera commented on May 17 11 at 9:20 pmIt’s certainly not my style, but I think it’s a big leap from “that mom does her child’s hair in a way I don’t like” to “that mom thinks of her child as nothing more than a fashion accessory.” If I dressed my child the way Stefani dresses Kingston, it would be totally over the top, but that’s because I live in a normal middle-class suburb and I’m a normal shlubby mom. In the circles Stefani travels in, it probably doesn’t seem like that big a deal.
c commented on May 18 11 at 12:41 ami’ve thought this FOR AGES. it’s so ridiculous.
LindaTOO commented on May 18 11 at 2:02 amEh. It’s hair. It grows out. It’s fine that you don’t “fancy” yourself judgemental, but it’s pretty delusional considering everything you wrote after that spurious claim. Own it, at least.
LindaTOO commented on May 18 11 at 2:02 amEh. It’s hair. It grows out. It’s fine that you don’t “fancy” yourself judgemental, but it’s pretty delusional considering everything you wrote after that spurious claim. Own it, at least.
goddess commented on May 18 11 at 7:36 amAnd your statement was judgmental as well, LOL.
We all judge. Deal. It’s just when standards differ that we slap other labels on it.BTW, do I get a cookie id I post this twice?
Rosana commented on May 18 11 at 8:44 amI have always love that most of the time I see photos of Gwen Stefani, she is with her children. I think she is a good mom. Still, the hair thing freaks me out. I am the mom that lets her kids have chips like once every two weeks because it freaks me out what too much junk food could do to their little bodies (3yrs old and 1 year old). So, I cannot fathom hair color for a little kid.
jeneria commented on May 18 11 at 8:48 amShe irritates me. I’ve always been annoyed by her and No Doubt. It’s also disturbing how she’s admitted to being on a diet since the age of 14 and that she’s been hungry for that many years as well. I think she has serious body image issues (not surprising given her career) but it’s possible she’s putting those same ideas into the heads of her kids. The good thing is that she has boys and not girls (only because most people don’t pressure little boys to diet whereas they do pressure little girls). Watch what Victoria Beckham does to her daughter’s body image.
Bunnytwenty commented on May 18 11 at 9:13 amThe main problem I have with this is that getting your hair dyed really isn’t very pleasant – it’s time-consuming, it smells terrible, and it’s often painful. Why the heck would you put your kid through that? If it was as simple as just slapping on a wig, I’d say, why not, but I’m sure that Gwen got a lot of crying and begging from Kingston over the years saying that he didn’t want to go through that again. That’s the messed up part of all of this. Sure, put yourself through pain for fashion, but not your frigging kids!
BlackOrchid commented on May 18 11 at 9:16 amI’m pretty sure I was using “Sun-In” myself with my little friends by that age.
Gosh, really guys? It’s probably not even processed, even if it is, WHO CARES. It hurts nothing and nobody.
He looks pretty great and so does she!
Monica Bielanko commented on May 18 11 at 9:59 am@LindaToo – I generally don’t fancy myself judgmental. About this, I am.
@Rosana – You know, Joan Crawford was always seen with her kids too. Have you seen or read Mommy Dearest? What can you discern from a photo-op that probably happened because the celeb’s publicist tipped off the paparazzi that she’ll be playing in this park at this time with her kids. And since when is a mom considered “a good mom” just because she’s spotted with her kids?
As another commenter once mentioned, Stefani strikes me as one of the most shallow women on the planet. And that’s coming from someone who LOVED her rock chick bad assness when she first started with No Doubt.
goddess commented on May 18 11 at 10:40 amWho says that those chemicals hurt nothing or no one Black Orchid?
me commented on May 18 11 at 10:50 amI would worry about the exposure to chemicals. I used to perm my hair because I love curls but it burned my scalp and one day I felt like I was going to pass out from the fumes. Hair bleach can’t be any better.
Rosana commented on May 18 11 at 11:53 amAlthough I think bleaching her kid’s hair is horrible, I wouldn’t put her at the same level as Joan Crawford. I got my daughters earlobes pierced when she was younger and that does not make me a bad mom.
At the same time, it is pretty hard for me to label a person as shallow when that idea is presented to me by the same people that publish the photo-ops.
Kristy commented on May 18 11 at 11:58 amI totally agree. Did you hear about this crazy ass mom injecting botox into her 8 year old daughter’s face for pageants? http://www.examiner.com/great-neighborhoods-in-san-francisco/faces-the-news-mystery-botox-mom-loses-custody-of-her-daughter
T.J. commented on May 18 11 at 12:25 pmI think you’re overreacting a bit here. The Joan Crawford comment is way over the top especially. I’m guessing that Kingston saw his mom bleaching her hair, getting her nails done, and trying on lots of clothes and he wanted to participate. It’s entirely possible that he’s interested in fashion, and I don’t see the problem with that. Those kids look happy and well cared for, and I don’t think anybody has a right to judge a mother who colors their kid’s hair. It’s just hair, after all.
Kim Q commented on May 18 11 at 12:50 pmThis to me is along the same lines as beauty pageants for children, no? Of course it is like almost any other parenting decision- a decision for the parents to make with all their own personal opinions and experiences muddying the water.
Gagagolly commented on May 18 11 at 1:08 pmSo, it’s “OK” to be judgmental about hair colors and styles and stuff (just some chicks kvetching), but not about breastfeeding, cosleeping, daycare, etc…things that actually matter? Real brains here, for sure.
Monica Bielanko commented on May 18 11 at 1:15 pmI’m not saying Stefani is on par with Joan Crawford, I used Crawford to make a point about celebs being photographed with their children. You can’t tell someone is a good mom just because she’s photographed with her kids by paparazzi.
@Gagagolly – Nobody’s okaying being judgmental about anything. I simply said that I usually try to stay away from pointing fingers at how moms choose to raise their kids. That said, this is obviously a judgmental post. Also, with every topic you brought up, breastfeeding, cosleeping, daycare – I see both sides of those issues and respect a mom’s decision to breastfeed or not, co-sleep or not. I don’t see the positive side of bleaching a 2-year-old’s hair.
elanath commented on May 18 11 at 1:24 pmJudgment aside…if it is dyed, oh my gosh, think of the bother! I remember simple shampooings to be a battle with my kids when they were that age. I did have a friend bleach (and then dye bright blue) my then-7-yo son’s hair, at his request. He wanted a blue mohawk, and he got it–he loved it for the first little while and then tired of all the attention it garnered. My almost-9yo daughter wants to dye her hair black (“like Violet, from the Incredibles”). I have demurred because she has strawberry-blond hair (and the fair skin to go with it), and it would look horrrrrrrrible. She can effect some ill-advised dye job that ill make me cringe when she’s a teen. ;)
Phil commented on May 18 11 at 1:26 pmCut it out… Gwen Stefani is a great mom. You can’t say that she uses her children as a fashion accessory when she has written songs for over a decade solely about her desire to be a wife, and her dream of being a mother. She also has recently stated that she does not wish to expose her children to so much lime light (see: Britney Spears) because she knows, as a good mother would, that it can be very negative and damaging. She wants responsibility for her boys and she wishes to let lead a normal life. Their quirky sense of style is obviously evidence of her love for cutting edge fashion. It’s not crazy for a new mother to want to play dress up with her kids, in fact it seems to me that women generally love that part of being a new mom. It’s fun!
As for the hair, my mom let me use sun-in when I was a kid (funny sidenote: so I could be more like my favorite singer Gwen Stefani). It has not affected my life negatively in any way, I still use it sometimes in the summer. I am actually meeting Gwen on June 7th and could not be more excited!!!
Gagagolly commented on May 18 11 at 1:50 pmFWIW, I agree that it’s stupid to bleach a kid’s hair, but then, I don’t even believe in coloring my own hair. That said, if an older teen wanted to do something with their hair that was a little different, I’d allow it… I just think of all the things to give a rip about, this is a funny one.
Monica Bielanko commented on May 18 11 at 2:10 pm@Gagagolly – It’s not keeping me up nights… but it’s a good talker and I was genuinely interested in hearing what other folks think or if I’m the only one who thinks it’s totally wacky.
saffron commented on May 18 11 at 2:11 pmI normally enjoy reading your posts, and I was nodding my head and agreeing with you right up to Hitler, which was OTT and perverse in my opinion; especially from someone who last week was complaining about being slated for drinking!
Dayna commented on May 18 11 at 2:36 pmI have no idea what kind of parent she is but I always think it’s weird when people do stuff like this to children who obviously didn’t arrive at the decision on their own. In many instances it’s a cultural preference, but I think it’s weird to pierce the ears of infants. Why would you do that? When my daughters were eight, they asked for pierced ears. When they are in middle school they will probably ask for highlights in their hair. I don’t get it when parents do that stuff before the child is even interested in having it. That being said, dying hair and piercing ears isn’t abusive or anything (like Botox…) so mostly I figure, to each their own.
My son goes to school (7th grade) with a girl who has a family member that is a tattoo artist. She recently acquired her first tattoo. That’s a real head shaker.
Gagagolly commented on May 18 11 at 2:37 pmI’m totally with you on the pierce ears thing, Dayna. Just one more thing to worry about (snag, infection, blah blah blah). Why bother? It is probably a cultural thing for some.
Jill commented on May 18 11 at 5:54 pmDoes anyone remember when Michael Jackson’s older son Prince was a young boy? His hair was clearly bleached because he sometimes had dark roots. That always bothered me much more than Gwen Stefani bleaching Kingston’s hair. I’m not sure why, except that MJ creeped me out more than GS does.
Danielle commented on May 18 11 at 6:22 pmLA mom and I’ve been noticing a serious trend of blonde little boys with a black streak dyed in their hair. I think it’s lame, but I don’t really see the harm. As far as the bleaching, I think that really goes too far. But I’m pretty sure Kingston and Zuma are gonna have bigger problems than mommy bleached their hair and that’s even if she a really good mom.
Gina commented on May 18 11 at 6:45 pmhmm….if the child is at the age where he or she has an ability to be amused and not freaked out by a sudden change in hair color or style, especially an unusual cut, then fine.
charity commented on May 18 11 at 7:17 pmI wouldn’t do it. But my mom wouldn’t let me dye my hair ever. I still haven’t.
I think it’s important to keep kids young and innocent for as long as possible.
Interestingly enough I do plan on piercing my kids ears. so go figure.
mjm commented on May 18 11 at 9:23 pmDoes this lady have evidence to back her story, does she Gwen personally? I’d like to see the her research!!! PS: I wouldn’t be making assumptions like this without any sources or research, there is something deformation of character even tabloids have sources
LogicalMama commented on May 19 11 at 12:01 pmIf Gwen has commented that she doesn’t want her kids in the limelight and wants them to lead a normal life then why does she bring them up on the runway with her in front of all the cameras? Why does she dress them so fashionably and bleach the hair of a toddler.
@BlackOrchid– I hardly believe you were putting SunIn in your hair at such a young age. Kinston is barely four and has had his hair colored for years now.
I am in agreement with this piece. I do think Gwen uses her kids as accessories. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t love them.
jendy commented on May 19 11 at 3:25 pmDon’t bleach
I know why it’s stinking
I don’t need your bleaching
Don’t bleach me ’cause it hurts
Marj commented on May 19 11 at 3:39 pmI’m not really all that worried with how attractive my kids look. They are toddlers. I think they’re freakin’ beautiful, with messy mommy haircuts and overalls. But then I’m not a stylish mom. I’m just not, and I’m not ashamed of that. If they were older and wanted to dye their hair…maybe. I kinda think little kids with purple hair are okay. I mean, it’s the one time in your life when it’s not going to affect your job prospects.
crummymummy commented on May 20 11 at 4:21 amI am with you Monica – I have long thought it odd that a woman would bleach her kid’s locks – which ruins hair and can burn a scalp. I am not slagging off her as a Mother – she is always with her kids, unlike say Kate Moss – and maybe the kid is geuinely interested in what Mommy wears and does and so wants to copy – but the bleaching – feels a little bit ‘trying too hard.’ Bet she yearns for a girl!
Heather commented on May 20 11 at 12:40 pmI’ve made the same observations and judgements. As a student teacher, EVERY single classroom I have been in has had at least 1 “mohawk kid.” Every parent who does this think that they are being so “different” so “non-conformist”, but as I said, there has been as least one in every single one of the 20+ classrooms I have been in, kindergarten through 8th grade. There is almost always at least one kid with a non-natural color hair dye job- anywhere from bleached to pink, and we are talking even at the kindergarten level. I do live near Seattle, so this might explain the trendiness of the “non-conformist parent.”
The big point though, every single time, every single classroom, “mohawk” kid has been a problem. Sometimes these kids are very bright and academically inclined, sometimes they are quiet, but every single one, they have been an issue in the class in one way or another- either academically struggling or extremely disruptive. And I made the same conclusion you have. I see a mom and dad who will take the time to help their first grader cultivate this social image, but won’t take the time to check kiddo’s backpack and see if he has any homework for that day. They come into the classroom clueless that their little one is so far behind/a behavior issue/etc., but they had enough time to go buy all those hip clothes and help kiddo get his/her hair dyed and awesomely styled….what gives?
Heather commented on May 20 11 at 12:43 pmand as other posters have said, look at the message this gives chidren? Beyond the school issues, which say ” how you look at school is more important than what you do at school” ( as early as kindergarten?!?!?!), it also teaches our kids that our physical bodies are just not good enough as they are…we need to dye, pierce, etc. Why in the world would the same people who lament the body images issues our children have because of the media, buy right into it ?!?! Beautiful at any shape, size, skin-color? Well, primping your kids like that certainly speaks louder than what you ( the figurative you) are saying…
amy commented on May 20 11 at 2:27 pmI’m not for it. if it touches the scalp, it burns! even if it doesn’t touch the scalp, there are all kinds of scary fumes you are breathing in. I’ve been bleaching my hair since high school. I’m ok with the fumes, but sometimes I get a little worried about it. and if you accidentally get that stuff in your eye, it can really damage! I shudder to think about how easy it could be for a sqirmy kid to accidentally get that stuff in their eye. it could happen if they touch it and then touch their face, or if their hair is longer and a lock of bleach-coated hair falls across the face.
let the kid decide whether or not they want to inhae fumes and endanger their eyes when they are old enough to pay a hairdresser on their own!
sarah commented on May 26 11 at 11:34 amWho says it’s Gwen’s fault? Why are you jumping to blame the mom?? His dad could be just as involved. Why are you implying that a child’s misdeeds/successes all reflect solely on the mother? He has two parents.
Michelle commented on Nov 16 11 at 9:41 amAll I have to say is we don’t see what goes on behind closed doors in Gwen’s family! Children can wear all the latest trends in fashion and hair, and still be taught values and morals! For all we know, her boys are growing up very well rounded, polite, individuals! If they look good doing it, great for them! And great for Gwen for achieving that!
Sarah commented on Nov 19 11 at 4:20 pmI think it’s fine, someday they will be adults and have to have “normal” hair color and do whatever it is they do with their lives. People can judge me all they want but until it becomes illegal (which is possible), mind your own business. If coloring or allowing them to have colored hair is the only complaint you have about my parenting, I’m not doing such a bad job.
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