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Why the First Years are So Important, Even Though Our Kids Remember Nothing
Recently, my three-year-old son and I were back at his daycare for a school play date. He hadn’t seen the school since shortly after his second birthday. We peered into the play yard and he immediately said, “Hey, they have a new slide!” He remembered the yard and its exact contents even though he hadn’t been there in almost a year.
If you have a preschooler, or even a little toddler, you know how impressive their little memories are. They hang on to details for longer and longer periods starting in the first year of life. I’ve written about kids’ memory development before and when I interviewed one prominent memory researcher, Carolyn Rovee-Collier, she told me about her experiments to test little baby memory; 2-month-olds can easily remember isolated events for a few days, whereas 6-month-olds can remember an event for about two weeks. If you “remind them,” however, the memories persist for months (that’s why if grandma visits frequently enough even your tiny newborn will remember her).
It just grows from there, until by the early preschool years our kids remember events that happened a year ago or more.
So then why do memories from the first three years of life eventually get wiped out? And how can those years be so important if they fade into nothing in our memories?
Today in the journal Child Development, researchers report that our recall for events becomes consolidated around the age of 10. Before that, if you ask kids what their first memories are, the answer will keep shifting later and later.
For example, the scientists interviewed kids ages 4-7 about their first memories. The kids cited examples of things that had happened years before (just as my son remembered something from when he was two). When they interviewed the same kids two years later, though, almost all of those memories had faded — replaced by now later “first memories.” The researchers believe that we don’t exactly lose our first memories behind a wall of “infantile amnesia” as Freud thought, it’s just that they keep getting replaced by newer and newer memories. Finally, around the age of 10, the first memories stick.
The irony, of course, is that even though little kids don’t remember much before the age of 3, those years are the most instrumental — their impact stretches through the rest of life. How can that be?
It’s because little kids accrue “implicit” memories — these are skills like riding a bike, talking, walking — which are different from “explicit” memories (our conscious recall for specific events or facts). A good way to distinguish the two: you may not remember the day you learned to ride a bike, but you do remember the skill of riding. Kids have expert implicit memory from day one — explicit takes a lot longer.
And emotional memories and habits fall under the implicit memories umbrella, so rest assured your little one “remembers” the love and attention you gave her in her first years even though she’ll never remember a single snuggle session later in life. In the end, whether we consciously remember family trips or summer vacations, the feelings we take way — the implicit memories — are the most powerful.
Image: flickr
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11 Comments
[...] earliest memories shift as they get older, study finds, Los Angeles Times and a follow-up, Why the First Years are So Important, Even Though Our Kids Remember Nothing on [...]
Saturday Surfing | Au Coeur commented on May 28 11 at 8:19 amL. commented on May 12 11 at 2:59 pmThis a great post. I’ve always wondered about this – thank you!
mommyof3 commented on May 12 11 at 10:40 pmmy son is five and everyonce in a while he will say something about when he went to florida at age 2 with his grand parents..he will see a beach on t.v. and say he went there before…it puts a smile on my face everytime..and i myself can remember when i was 3 and i almost drowned..i can remember coming up and trying to grab the side rails..at least i think thats what i remember my mom told me i had been close to drowning and at the time i thought it had been a dream…even talking about it now i still “see” it..
IncidentalDomestic commented on May 12 11 at 11:18 pmI don’t know that I’m totally sold on this theory of the early memories being wiped out. I have several distinct early memories from situations when I was a baby, my earliest from when I was 10 months old, pre-walking, pre-talking (as verified by my shocked mother).
Liz commented on May 12 11 at 11:20 pmI have a lot of memories from before the age of 3. Memories that I have been able to confirm with older family members. And others that I know were from that time because of other facts in the memories. This seems really general. Maybe some people just have better memories than others?
meme commented on May 12 11 at 11:21 pmI find it so fascinating. I also find it hard to believe that she will not remember anything that happens these first 3 years of her life. I’ve always equated it to being able to speak, since before speaking you might code your memories as pictures, and then lose the ability to retrieve these memories when you learn to speak, but she’s been speaking for a good year.
heatherturgeon commented on May 13 11 at 2:35 pm@Meme: that’s definitely one of the theories about why early memories fade (they aren’t coded in language), and i wonder if some kids who talk earlier also remember earlier. but then you’ve got the development of a mature hippocampus (which you need to store long term memories) and that takes some time to come online.
Kikiriki commented on May 13 11 at 6:09 pmSome of our early memories are actually ‘planted’ by the stories we are told about ourselves, like the family lore stories. I totally thought I remembered something from when I was a baby but it turns out what I remembered actually had the details that my grandmother told me, which were wrong. My mom corrected me, but I still have this ‘memory’ of something that didn’t actually happen the way I remember it. It’s weird how your brain can sometimes concoct a vision of a story and then stores it as a real-life memory instead of a ‘story’ memory. That being said, I do have two very vivid memories when I was well under 3 years old, but I think that both of them were such traumas in my life that they stuck in my brain. And apparently, that’s also something that matters in the memory process – whether or not there was something extremely significant (scary, awesome, etc.) going on makes it more likely that you will not only remember, but remember more vividly.
Anand commented on May 15 11 at 7:39 pmI’ve always wondered if it was just my inability to remember a single event before I was 4. I mean in four long years, more events must be stored there somewhere.
Thats why I want to record as many details of my little boy’s early life as possible, whether thats in photos, videos or on http://www.memfy.com. Its really important to me, and I know how much I would have loved detail like this.Just need to make sure the noting gets done and not overshadowed by daily life.
Nay commented on Jun 30 11 at 2:32 pmI have about a dozen memories from before I was 4 (I can tell if they were before 3 by whether or not they are blurred – I got my glasses then. I remember my first outing with them, too.) At least one of those was before I could talk, but I remember my thoughts (apparently when I started speaking, I was using full sentences. I knew I wasn’t getting what I wanted because I couldn’t really explain what I was trying to say, which was “he doesn’t care about Fozzie until I try to play with it, and he gets Kermit. I don’t like Gonzo or Miss Piggy, but Miss Piggy is a girl toy, so Nick won’t take her. Can’t I have Fozzie, Nick get Gonzo, and we both have at least one of our favorites?” They just thought I wanted his toy, and didn’t know my preferences were as distinct as my brother’s.)
Nay commented on Jun 30 11 at 2:44 pmI forgot to add my point to that one. My husband’s memory retention is kin to my own. Since I have memories from before I could talk (but after I could kind-of communicate), I know that from the time my kids start pointing, I need to treat them like the sapient beings they are. ‘Cause they will remember. And it may shape who they are as adults.
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