Here’s a weird cause of baby sleep problems: marital stress. Problems in a marriage appear to cause sleep problems for babies, researchers say. Interestingly, the reverse is not true. You’re not fighting with your spouse because the baby keeps you up all night. But you might be keeping the baby up by fighting with your spouse.

A new study focused on adoptive parents as a way of getting around the confounding issues of whether or not infant sleep was being influenced by parents genes. The study found that “marital instability” at 9 months was strongly correlated with sleep problems at 18 months.

The study, from Oregon State University, was the first of its kind. It shows marital strain having  an impact on children’s sleep at younger ages than other studies have. They said:

The researchers found that marital instability when children were nine months old predicted increases in sleep problems when they were 18 months old. Even after taking into account factors such as birth order, parents’ anxiety and difficult infant temperament, the findings still held.

The research team believes that marital strain somehow causes infants’ sleep problems. That might suggest one way to help a fussy child get more zzzzs is to work on your relationship. Not that exhausted new parents typically have the time or energy to do that.

I’m really surprised that the findings didn’t work the other way. I’d have expected the sleep deprivation and emotional strain of caring for a newborn to wear on even the best marriages. Mine certainly took a beating over years of cosleeping and nighttime parenting. Couples freaking out because their baby never sleeps makes sense to me.

Instead, it seems like parents’ emotional state has an even bigger effect on children than we’d realized. Even babies are aware of stress between their parents, and absorb some of it themselves. This can have consequences further down the line. Sleep deprivation, if it persists, can cause behavioral issues, academic problems, developmental issues and attention problems. No fun at all.

How do you keep strain in your marriage from spilling out onto your kids? Did you find yourself having a harder time with your spouse after your kids came along? Do you believe sleepless babies don’t contribute to marital strain?

Photo: valentinapowers

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