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Good Parenting Can Prevent Bullying
Open, communicative parents raise kids who don't bully
Want to avoid raising a bully? The good news is, you can! A new study highlights specific parenting behaviors that push kids to bully others. It also identifies some good choices you can make as a mom to help your kids treat others well.
Last week I wrote that parenting doesn’t matter. In this area at least, it seems that it does. Being a better parent can help prevent your kid from becoming a bully.
Over a third of kids bully others at least once in awhile, according to this study. Livescience reports on the study, which shows that bullying has been on the upswing over the past decade. From 2003 to 2007, there was a 52% increase in the number of kids whose parents said they were sometimes bullies. Parenting style seemed to play into whether or not kids became bullies:
Across the years, a few risk factors for bullying emerged. Children who had emotional, behavioral or developmental problems were more likely to bully. Kids of parents who said they often felt angry or bothered by their child were more likely to be bullies. And moms with mental health problems were also more likely to have kids that bullied.
Happily, the study found that parenting style can make a big difference in preventing bullying. Specifically, here are some strategies that pay off in teaching children to be nice to their peers:
- Talk to your kids: Parents who had open, communicative relationships with their children were less likely to be raising bullies.
- Know your child’s friends: knowing the kids your kid spends time with was another insulating factor against bullying.
It’s not clear if children who bully are more likely to make their parents angry, or if angry parents tend to raise bullies. Either way, the researchers thought that intervention programs seeking to prevent bullying should focus on helping parents manage their emotions better and become more involved in their children’s lives.
Photo: Leonid Mamchenkov
Signs of Bullying Behavior: How to Tell If Your Kid is a Bully
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4 Comments
Perfecting Dad commented on May 02 11 at 6:21 pmI think it’s pretty obvious … kids who learn how to get results through violence and domination, and don’t know the fun of collaboration and acceptable entertainment have learned a bullying strategy.
If parents demonstrate mostly anger and violence, then the child will probably not spontaneously learn a different behaviour. If parents are uninvolved then it’s a crap shoot as to how the kid will turn out.
Perfecting Parenthood
Rosana commented on May 03 11 at 9:05 am“Being a better parent can help prevent your kid from becoming a bully.” Duh!! People really needs studies to figure out everything that is so simple??? The bad news (that might be supported by a study in the future) is that most parents that raise bullies do not really care to be a better parent.
marie newman commented on May 03 11 at 11:19 amIt really should be obvious, but many parents, even good parents, miss specific behaviors and then those behaviors that become a habit. We talk about this at length, in our book, “When Your Child Is Being Bullied:Real Solutions”, where we point out how bullies become bullies and the types of bullies.
Of course the best way to prevent a bully is to teach empathy, respect and accountability, but when that does not happen, others ( schools and other adults) have to jump in and provide teaching consequences to bullies.
For parents and schools who need free resources that actually solve problems, please visit solutionsforbullying.com
bwsf commented on May 03 11 at 2:15 pmThis sounds like kind of a no-brainer to me. Raise your kids to have good values, healthy self-esteem and respect for others and yes, they are more likely to be good, productive people.
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